Ways to Make Regular Tail Lights into Euro Tail Lights

Bright, clear lenses. Gleaming chrome reflectors. Out-of-this-world designs. There are tons of reasons why Euro tail lights have become so popular. They’re made for most any popular vehicle, which means the style is very accessible. And, Euro tail lights are usually on the shelf at fine retailers like Kragen, which means you can grab a set with a chrome flame backing for your rearview mirror and start turning heads in seconds flat.

There’s just one catch: the cost. See, to get a set of these hot tail lights, you may spend $100 or more—especially if you want quality parts. So, we set out to find ways to make your factory tail lights Euro without dropping the Drachma it takes to buy a new set. Figuring that most drivers simply want the “Euro” name and attitude for their bland US sedan, we’ll focus on the ways your tail lights can reflect elite sophistication and de-evolution at the same time, the way so many of our cross-Atlantic friends do.

Option 1: tilt your tail lights up slightly

Nothing says Euro elite like having your nose up in the air, and with a few shims or washers from the local hardware store, your tail lights can have that air of superiority too. Just loosen the bottom screws holding in your tail light housing, jam the washer or shim into place using a mallet, tighten the screws and admire. Now your tail lights will officially look down on all of the other cars on the road, wondering just when they’re going to get some fashion sense.

Option 2: declare the heritage of your tail lights

Ever seen a Euro vehicle without a coat of arms on the trunk lid or a white oval on the bumper? Me neither, and if your tail lights want to get with the Euro times, they have to get in on the act too. I suggest picking the same country of origin for each light. Mine have “IRE” on them, which I just recently learned has nothing to do with the IRA, which isn’t now adding a militant edge to ride. What a waste.

Option 3: glue coarse body hair to the lens

What’s more Euro than thick coats of hair all over the back, legs and shoulders? Nothing, except the item in option 4 (stay tuned). So, grab a beard clipper, roll up your pants, and start peeling back the tufts of curlies on your shins, calves, and behind your knee caps. Pick up the piles and put them in some Tupperware. Then, go to your local auto parts store and get some of the spray glue used to re-tack sagging headliners. Shoot a good coat onto your tail lights, toss a handful of hair into the glossy glue, let it set for a couple of hours, and your tail lights are about as Euro as a bath house.

Option 4: BO

To make your tail lights more Euro than ever, they need to stink. Skip deodorant yourself for a week, and rub the sweaty bird’s nest under your arm all over your tail lights. Then, don’t bathe them—true Euros don’t. Ever. Any time you hit the road, and the poor sap behind you has their windows down, the aroma of gay Paris will waft through their nostrils and linger in their upholstery. Then, my friend, you truly have Euro tail lights.

Of course, if you don’t want your tail lights to be quite so authentic Euro, you can always just shell out the bucks for your own set of Euro tail lights that don’t stink or cast aspersions on Americans. That’d be my recommendation.

When you want the hot euro tail lights look without spending your cash, just modify your tail lights to have a big, stinky, hairy attitude. - David S. Brooks

David Brooks is the SEO Manager for AutoAnything an auto parts, an and accessories internet retailer based in San Diego, CA.