Managing Human Resource: Improving Your People Skill, Part I

Jim Cockman was one of the most successful business leaders I’ve known. He was the CEO of PYA Monarch and Chairman of Sara Lee Food Service Division before he retired. Jim is dead now. He was kidnapped and killed by two people who met him on a country road, saying they wanted to buy an SUV he had for sale.

Jim was a mentor to many business people, myself included. He was also a client who referred other business to me. Recently, I came across a folder with the DISC assessment and personal values assessment I’d done for him inside. There was also a piece of paper he’d faxed to me in 1995. Written on it was his evaluation of people’s behaviors and motivations. There are twelve of them in all, the first six in this article. His statements are in upper case, which is how he sent them to me. After each statement, I’ve written my interpretation of them. Jim’s insight is good knowledge to have when relating to people, especially when dealing with difficult people.

1.PEOPLE WANT TO SUCCEED. This may seem obvious, yet some people seem to us to be unmotivated and not all that interested in succeeding. What holds us back many times is the fear of failure and even the fear of success. People are sometimes afraid to try for fear they won’t succeed and look foolish. And with success comes responsibility; many fear they won’t live up to what’s expected of them.

2.THE INTENTION OF ALL BEHAVIOR IS POSITIVE. How can that be when we see so many negative people doing un-positive things? I think what Jim means here is that all of us are motivated by moving toward pleasure and happiness and away from pain and sorrow. Therefore even when we do things we know may not be good for us or others we are doing them to get something we want or need. So the intention may be positive even if the behavior isn’t.

3.MODELING SUCCESSFUL PERFORMANCE LEADS TO EXCELLENCE. Not much more need be said. When we model the actions of people who are successful, we are bound to achieve a higher level of success ourselves. In the attempt, we also reach a higher level of excellence.

4.INDIVIDUALS HAVE TWO LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION: CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS. Have you ever felt misunderstood by others? Have you ever said something in jest and people took you seriously and became upset? That’s an example of conscious and unconscious communication. You meant one thing, but your body language or tone conveyed something else; that was your unconscious communication. Remember, too, that people see and hear your communication through their own filters. If we can learn to be more aware of what we’re communicating on both levels, our communications will improve.

5.INDIVIDUALS OPERATE FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE OF THE WORLD RATHER THAN WHAT THE WORLD REALLY IS (THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY). We see the world from our viewpoint, our prejudices and judgments. Something one person sees as beautiful and necessary another may see as ugly and useless. I think the key here is to understand that, and at the same time figure out what the world really is; at least as much as we can know in this realm. And even if we adopt the beliefs of a particular philosopher, spiritual teacher, or scientist, we’re still seeing the world as we (and they) are – not as it is. I believe if we would be less judgmental and more open to truth and knowledge, we would reach the territory sooner.

6.RAPPORT IS MEETING INDIVIDUALS AT THEIR MODEL OF THE WORLD. This statement may be the reason Jim sent me these thoughts of his. We might have been discussing my work in teaching people to understand and adapt their behavioral styles and personal values to others to build rapport and improve relationships with them. For example, let’s say you’re an extrovert who talks loudly and rapidly and you’re talking with an introvert who’s shy and soft spoken. If you’ll speak more softly and slowly with that person, you’ll build instant rapport with them. Understanding and accepting their values is even more powerful in building rapport with others.

Jim knew why and how to do these things which help explain his amazing success in business and in life.

Think on these things and look for part two of this article where you found this one. If you can’t find it, please feel free to contact me through my Coach Annette website.

Employee assessments and diversity training are a powerful combination in improving your communication skill and conflict resolution skill. The Estes Group’s human resource management training will help you in building a corporate team whose members will gain more respect and unconditional positive regard for each other. Annette Estes is a Certified Professional Behavioral and Values Analyst, human resource consultant, trainer, coach, and author of the award-winning book “Why Can’t You See It My Way? Resolving Values Conflicts at Work and Home.” Order the ebook at http://www.resolveconflictnow.com and get a free leadership assessment at http://www.coachannette.com