CNN News Headline of the Day: Anticipating a Small Party

The Allegory of Age Governed by Prudence, by Titian

Lion: Ever since the Chronicles of Narnia I have lost all anonymity! I get recognized in the street everywhere I go.

Cassanova: Oh, Christ, do stop complaining! You look as if you are about to cry! I am wanted in 6 countries for sodomy, incestuous relations, and polygamy. At least people don't call you the Tuscan Prince of Prison Rape. I suppose this is my curse. Please bear yours with a…

Dumbledore: Of curses you speak, young Cassanova! Don't test me! I still maintain a correspondence with the vicar of Costa Rica, Martin Luther de Carnavales. He controls a local tribe in the Balboan forests. Why it would be heaven for you! They would feed you peeled bananas and their own special kind of burrito. Are you imagining this yet? And then they would wait until twilight, when your white skin is gleaming purple and descend upon thy knightly body. Valhalla, indeed.

Lion grudgingly drinks a glass of wine. Feeling no effect in his system, he growls vociferously at the wolf named Jack London to get him more.

The wolf named Jack London: Ok, I think it's time to start the music now. Hmm definitely no Chopin. I know!

The sounds of "Du Hast" begin to fill the room, and Titian cannot but help flick his head about in tune with the metal madness. He picked up the nearest bottle of liquor and let it stream down his face.

"At least people don't mistake you for King Leonidas," Titian laughed at the rest of them. The dog assented.

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