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Home » Entertainment » Humor » National Santa Alert Center, NSAC, Phx. AZ. Alert! Santa with a bouquet and a sachet

emugits
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National Santa Alert Center, NSAC, Phx. AZ. Alert! Santa with a bouquet and a sachet

Submitted by emugits
Thu, 27 Nov 2008

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lead investigator for NSAC reports High Alert: 12 Women in the Greater Phoenix, AZ. area called in about a mysterious Santa Claus impostor. They want us find him, but do not want the Police involved. Our Victims state it is personal and they can identify him by a special thing that sticks out. The victims are despondent, conned by this Santa’s promise of a special gift that keeps on giving and, they want to hold this Santa to his promise. We are asking for the Public's help to find this Santa and his supposedly “Secret Sachet”
The victims reported a good looking man in his early 50’s, about 5’ 9”, 160 lbs with sandy blond wavy hair, brown eyes and an infectious smile. He was wearing a Santa hat when he approached them outside of Victoria’s Secret in the Scottsdale mall. They claim he approached them with a bouquet of fresh flowers and a little sachet. Several of the victims stated “he was just so charming, he swept me off my feet and I invited him home, never thinking about what was about to happen. Six of the victims stated they we held captive for a week.
NSAC ALERT! This is a serial Santa impostor; the six victims were all brunettes, the same shape, height and age)
All of the victims claimed he started the conversation about his special “Christmas Bouquet”, he guaranteed they would stay as fresh and erect as the day he gave them for 7 days. He told the victims the key to keeping these erect for 7 days was in his secret little sachet and his magical wand and, that he would be glad to demonstrate just how it works.
The Victims described his demonstration as “titillating”, he was such a smooth talker that they all ended up participating in Santa’s demo. They said he took a little packet out of his secret sachet and mixed a little with the water for the flowers and the rest of it was for him. He told them it was the magical powers of him and his little sachet they were about to see. They said in just a few seconds the flowers stood more erect and fuller than they ever saw, and when they looked, there was Santa waving his big magical wand.
They all claimed that the beautiful bouquet of erect flowers and Santa’s magical wand blooming in front of their eyes, placed them into some sort of sexually charged trance.
Six of the Victims claimed Santa waved his magical wand in such a way that they were held captive by his spell for a week. They claimed every day and night the flowers were perfectly erect and blooming, and so was Santa.
Our collaborative investigation concludes that Santa and his sachet made some great big things happen in some sort of magical way. We need to stop this Santa now and find out where he got those flowers, that big magical wand and what was in that secret sachet.

--

 

I’m an investigative reporter for NSAC. My findings are supported on www.myscienceproject.org Flowers with viagra dissolved in the water did keep the flowers erect for 7 days. The secret sachet is Kamagra oral jelly in a 7 day pack. (the week) www.Kamagranow.co.uk offers a generic version of Viagra, Santa’s little helper. The bouquet I found on line. As for Santa, just a guy in the right place with all the right stuff. For The Victims, I need hands on experience, we need to reconstruct the crime scene.


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