The Down and the Dirty

It is perplexing how most men seem to think that women can't take dirty jokes. Admittedly, we tend to draw the line at certain things (anything devaluing women can't be funny...unless we're talking about women who ALREADY demean themselves – like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian). But we can be just as dirty as the next guy. We may not be telling them twenty-four-seven while drunk on beer and laughing our heads off, but seriously. Women can have dirty minds, and get some of the sleaziest jokes in the world. I am a testament to that, actually. I have been corrupting the innocent since 1998, and my cuteness – in conjunction with my filthy, filthy mind – have shocked the masses.

It might have started when I first got my hands on one of my mom's romance novels, which taught me about sex and showed me the marvels of innuendo. Or it may have been when I was even younger, when I thought that swearing was funny and eventually took pride in being dubbed by my father (as he introduces his family) as “my older daughter; she's the one who swears”. Or maybe it's because I practically grew up in the 90's, when disgustingly inane shows like “Ren and Stimpy” or “Beavis and Butthead” were the height of comedy. It's not that clear, really. In any case, I am not at all ashamed to say that I have an entire database of off-color humor lodged in my subconscious, rising at the most inopportune (but slightly appropriate) moments. Believe me, it's something else entirely to end up thinking of something disgusting and politically incorrect when talking to your grandmother about cats.

The difference, as I may have mentioned before, may be that women tend to not indulge in inappropriate humor as regularly as guys do. Maybe it's women who make jokes like that tend to be thought of as “easy” (in the case of jokes of a sexual nature) or worse, “one of the dudes” (in the case of jokes that involve bodily functions and pranks). Either way, dirty jokes tend to make women either unappealing as a romantic interest or fail to attract the attention of the right type of men. Some women don't care of course, but others take finding a decent man very seriously – and you can't find a decent man using fart jokes and other kinds of dirty humor.

But being the kind of person that I am, I marvel at how easily I break people's brains when I say something as nasty as the “Aristocrats” joke (look it up) and THEN smile innocently. My friends and family have developed an immunity (although my mother protests my habit of saying things like that for the “shock factor”), but acquaintances tend to stare and gape, not quite knowing how to react. The fact that I engage them in extremely intelligent conversation afterwards just boggles their minds even more, as the disjoint becomes even more palpable.

I realize that my mother may be right, that I'm collecting all these disgusting jokes for later use as a means of getting a lot of attention at parties, but at the same time, I wonder if I hold on to these offensive bits of humor because I have become sick and tired of the idea of men who tell them being barely given a reprimand and even defended with the line “boys will be boys”. I am far from being the traditional feminist who think that men should pay for their crimes, but sometimes I just wish that women are allowed to say something inappropriate just to let out some of the pressure – without the fear of being judged for it.

Personally, I think I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who understand that the way I talk doesn't necessarily have to reflect who I am. Persons can be totally smart but have an extremely juvenile sense of humor. At least, it should be allowed. I refuse to believe that the down and the dirty should be limited to men or the uneducated. I don't plan to be uptight about anything at all.

Elea Almazora, contributor to DirtyJokes.Com.Mx

Elea Almazora currently works as a contributor to many information-based websites, writing about many subjects ranging from culture to sciences.

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