Does Debt Affect Your Marriage?

If you are married or in a relationship and you have debt, I don’t think you will have to give that question much thought before you answer it. When asked why they divorced, 80 percent of those couples sited money as their biggest reason for divorcing. Ask couples what they argue about and I will bet money will be the majority answer.

Not only does money have a lot do with the conflict in a relationship, it is the lack of talking about money. Most of us only know what we saw when we were brought up and in most cases one or the other of our parents handled the money and the other was given an allowance and did not think a whole lot about the rest.

Although my father is excellent about saving money and my parents have a better retirement than most, if something were to happen to my mother, I don’t think he would have a clue where to start when it comes to paying the bills. I believe this is common in many households. I believe one partner to be a lot more active in dealing with the finances than the other.

In a situation like this, where you have one person in control of the finances and there is debt, there is more than likely a great many things that are not known to the other partner. I have seen many couples that are in denial over their finances. In some cases they are hiding things from each other. They may have credit cards that their spouse does not know about. In some cases they are both in denial. Instead of facing the problem together, the bills are left or maybe hidden in an unopened stack somewhere.

The statement the “the truth will set you free” has a lot of truth to it. They only way your relationship is going to survive debt is if you face it head on, together. You will be amazed at how liberating laying all your cards (or in this case, your bills) on the table can be. Make an agreement before looking at your debt, that you will not judge or criticize each other, but you will rationally come up with a plan you can live with to eliminate your debt. If your debt seems too overwhelming to handle, agree to seek professional debt help to get your finances back under control.

Getting all your debt out in front of you will help you see where you stand. You can’t move forward until you know where you are. Following this simple step will help you get started on your road to debt recovery. Remember, this is something you both need to do together. As you work to resolve your debt together, you will see your relationship strengthen in other ways.

Marjorie Salada is the owner of debtmanagement1.com, a website that contains information on debt consolidation, debt settlement, debt counseling and how to manage credit card debt.