Divorce Fear - What Keeps You Awake At Night

Divorce fear is like any other fear, it is an unjustifiably bad feeling about the future which you feel you has no control over.

Yesterday, I felt fear when my computer [suddenly|unexpectedly] started shutting me out. By the time I rescued it, which took hours, I had lost more than one significant document.

Now I am just really cranky, as a techno phobe, I nearly freeze and whimper when things go wrong. Yesterday I was freaking out, I had not backed up in 4 days, I had no idea how I could operate without my lap top even though I had been telling myself to do something about it for months, like buy a back up computer.

The most scary thing was I didn't know how I could operate my business and my life without the computer, I lost quite a few saved passwords, yesterday that had me in tears, today I am so cranky with myself for not printing them out and the time it is going to take to get them back.

The thing is my fear was real, the problem was real, but the thing I was spending emotional energy on and giving myself heart palpitations over was not real.

Losing my PC would have been a major challenge for my business, and I may have been without some files for a couple of weeks but I would still have an income and still have a life I can grow in.

I used to have really awful dreams when I first got divorced that I couldn't save my kids. I would be one of them, usually the youngest, falling, drowning or some other disaster and I couldn't get to them and would watch them die. That fear was the worst fear I have ever known and would literally stalk me for days.

The fear of the unknown, such as in divorce, is not real until you make it real. The fear of not being able to support yourself and your children, the fear of being alone, the fear of not seeing your children are all scenarios of what could be they are not reality.

If you fear something about your divorce then face it head on and make a list of all the things you can do to make that situation never happen.

Planning and taking a positive step are the best ways to get rid of your fears. Fear can even help you figure out where it is you need to concentrate your energy.

Listen to your fear, understand it is worst case scenario and plan away from it.


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