A Simple Way To Get Over Bitterness and Anger

It happens to each one of us from time to time, and it is really aggravating. A person you have faith in or believed you had good relations with does something to backstab you or disregard you. If that person was a stranger, you might just banish them from your world and never need to deal with them again. But that is not necessarily possible if the person is part of your family or group of friends. Sometimes you have to excuse and forget otherwise the resentment can cause you personal harm.

But bitterness and hate are powerful emotions that may gain control over you if you do not have secrets for working with them. I'm going to tell you about a certain strategy I've found terribly helpful in beating or reducing my acrimony, anger, and hate of people I have no way out but to engage with. I first picked up this plan in self improvement guru Anthony Robbins' bestseller Awaken The Giant Within. To modify your emotions you've got to change the things that you concentrate on. So when you are wrapped up in bad feelings towards another, change your focus by asking yourself "What do I respect about this person?" In all likelihood, your answer will be "Nothing!". That is fine. But ask again, now adjusting the question to "What could you respect about this person if you wanted to?" This time you'll probably think of something respectable about them. Target that aspect of the person, and you'll end up flowing into another more positive emotional state.

The reason the second question is so powerful is that we frequently resist emotions that cause us discomfort. In this case, for instance, being indignant gives you the illusion of being more in control over the problem, so you resist moving away from that hate and moving into a happier state. You feel at home with the hate. But by asking the question hypothetically, as in "if you wanted to", you are eliminating the resistance because you do not have to personally take responsibility for those ideas you come up with about that person. You are just blue-skying hypothetically. But the key is that your emotions will follow your focus, so although you are just imagining hypothetically, you are now focusing on something positive and your emotions will advance into a more positive state.

Let us take a look at an example so you will get what I mean. Let's imagine your mother is overprotective of you and can't quit attempting to shelter you from life although you are a grown adult. I know from my own history this can cause a large amount of resentment and frustration. The first thought of the person is "Stop attempting to manipulate me!" But next you ask the question "What do I respect about my mother?" Perhaps your response is "Nothing! She needs to get lost" then rephrase the question, "What could you respect about her if you wanted to?" Then you will probably think of something like "Well, she obvious|clear}ly loves me. She wants to keep me safe. She is a caring person." That theoretical imagining has changed your focus and your emotional state, and you most likely feel a little more sympathy for her after asking yourself these questions. That doesn't suggest you've got to permit her behaviour, however it can help you deal with it in a sane, positive way rather than melting into anger and antagonism that will harm the relationship and cut back your overall happiness.

Understanding how to manipulate your emotional states can offer you amazing control over your life and yourself. The above is only one applied example, but there are many s to take control of your feelings. I highly counsel Anthony Robbins' book Awaken The Giant Within as a helpful source of applied strategies to help you achieve this.