Getting Your Attention

Showing your child how grateful you are to have them in your life is an important way to keep their self esteem at a balanced high. This goes for everyone in the family, but most importantly for the youngest of the bunch.Showing praise and approval for the good things that they do will always turn into more satisfying actions and behaviors from your child.

Unfortunately, for most children it is backwards and they hear more about what they are not doing right. This is a vicious cycle which will only be remedied by a blatant withdraw by one of the parties.Usually the child with not voluntarily end the on-going feud for fear of looking even weaker. When a child does something bad purposefully it is generally to get attention.

When bad attention shows up in the form of reprimand, it is considered attention, it is taken and usually discarded and the behavior continues so as to continue the attention. When the child approached in a different manner, let's say with calm assertion and some compassion, the child is confused and this may halt the behavior. As long as the child is noticing a different type of attention (it is still attention, after all) the bad behavior may cease so as to keep ahold of this new positive attention.

It is an age old question: adults wondering why children consider bad attention as acceptable, worthy attention for their own needs. It is demeaning and belittling but children seem to beg for it at times. Parents sit back and ask themselves why the child continually acts this way.Persisting and pushing, and most of the time escalating the circumstances. It all goes right back to attention. No matter why, or how, the child tolerates the yelling or punishment the fact is the parent is actually taking time out of their day to speak to the child. And no matter how screwy, it is considered attention.

The bold point I am making here is this; it is not as hard as it seems to begin to transform that dissatisfaction into an understanding, and an attitude of compromise, with your child. If you know that the behavior will persist as long as it is getting your attention, then why not learn to communicate effectively.

The author writes for Family and Parenting, a complete resource for families. In our current economic times, learn finance tips for families.