Our Tasty Garbage

My neighbor just showed me his bird-feeder which was viciously mauled - he's guessing by a bear. We both live pretty close to the woods here in Wisconsin, so I think that's probably it. I mean, bears live in the woods and we live by the woods and why wouldn't bears live in our woods? It just goes to figure, don't you think? They're good woods, nothing wrong with them.

I'm not all that scared myself at the thought of bears where I live. While I do have a bird feeder, I'm fortunate in the fact that I'm pretty lazy and I don't fill it so much. Bad for the birds but good for the no-bears. I suppose you could say that this is what happens when humans encroach on wild-life's natural habitat.

Actually, this is what happens when you put out tasty treats for who-ever. Like, if you were in the suburbs and you put pies and cookies out into your front yard, don't you think you would attract some unwelcome visitors? My Uncle used to tell me that if you put out milk and brown sugar it would attract the Brownies (pixie-like creatures - not the fore-runners of girlscouts. They must dress in brown). And maybe that does, in fact, attract the Brownies. I'll bet you it also attracts a lot more than that.

A woman I work with had her daughter and her daughter's family unexpectedly stay with them for a few days. Her daughter also lived somewhat out in the wild - like me - and there were some feral cats nearby in the woods. You can't hunt them! The Wisconsin legislature defeated that bill, so go hunt your cats somewhere else! Anyways, one of the feral cats had a litter of feral kittens so my co-worker's daughter put out kitten chow for the wee darlings. Unknown to her she was actually putting kitten chow out for the darling skunks. She surprised one of the skunks feeding on the kitten chow and we all know what surprised skunks do. It took quite an effort to get the smell out of the house and clothes and such. They had to call in a skunk professional (there are such people, too. They charge a lot, because when you need their services you have little choice).

Wild animals like us because of stuff like that, but mostly what they like about us is our garbage. Do you see that warm friendly dog curled up at your feet? Why do you think he's there? That's right. Garbage. Ten thousand years ago in China his remote ancestors liked out garbage and decided to stick around us humans because of our tasty garbage.

They've been hanging around ever since

Steve Sommers is the author of REXROI, and Evil Super-Villains need Love, Too ... and other important wisdom. (Both books can be viewed by simply clicking on the titles)