Love your child unconditionally

mothA story in the Chicken soup for Mother's Soul really hit me hard. This is how the story goes. Mother of a handicapped child returned from a pilgrimage and told her friend that God had finally heard her prayers, a miracle had happened. The friend rushed to see the child who looked just the same. The mother then explained, ' I love my son the way he is .I don't want to change him. If he had been otherwise, I would still love him the same way. God has really answered my prayers. He has given me the son I always wanted'.

That was one beautiful realization of a parent. How often we wish our child to be someone else and not what he is. We wish he was a little more intelligent, a little more extrovert, a little better in his elocution, wish he was an all rounder like the house captain in the school and so on. And then our love flows on conditions. A child is hugged when he bags the trophy and not when he has lost, he is rewarded with appreciation when he crosses the 90% mark and not when he falls short of your expectation, he is made to feel great if he performs well in front of the guests and criticized if he doesn't, he is told that his parents are proud of him only when he fetches a good job and considered incompetent if he is struggling.

I am sure each of you have your own conditions, your own set of changes you want in your child. Come to think of it, will your love change after a metamorphosis in your child? No! You love your child and you'll always love him, so why these conditions?

The love for your child is flowing inside you. No miracle from God can increase or decrease the amount of this love. The only miracle that's waiting to happen is your realization.
No comparisons, criticisms, prayers, guidance will make any difference. Only your unconditional love will cause all the miracles you ever wanted and even those you never thought were possible to happen.

When I saw my son sitting grimly in his room, it was a little surprising to see the otherwise so high-spirited boy feel so low. Showing his class 8th report card he said, "I could just score 58% marks mama. I feel I don't deserve anything". Taking his hand I told him, "I want you to know that this will make no difference to my love for you. And a bubbly loving son like you deserves the best in this world". And we continued to have our evening chat just like any other day. The next morning, when he came to say bye before leaving for school, I sensed a unique confidence in his voice when he said, " Ma I have decided that I will do really well in the next exams". That moment he confirmed to me that love is the biggest motivation.

For your parenting related queries, write to
the renowned parenting expert Sudha Gupta at sudha_gupta@mothersprideonline.com Selected questions will win '101 Golden Rules of Perfect Parenting' by Sudha Gupta.
HAPPY PARENTING!

About The Principal
Mrs. Sudha Gupta is an educationist par excellence and a visionary with a difference. Her expansive vision encompasses children, parents, teachers and the society as a whole. ‘To create a better world' is precisely how she explains her vision.

She has done extensive work in the field of education for the past 11 years. As the chairperson of 15 branches strong chain of preschools known as Mother's Pride, she has propagated the concept of holistic education that focuses on overall development of children namely academics, life skills and talents. To bring the concept of holistic education to formal education, she established Presidium with a unique vision of ‘Be what you want to be'.

Being a renowned educationist herself, she knew that only happy and motivated teachers could make her vision a reality. This led to the conception of ‘The Knowledge Tree', an academy which imparts new age expertise and skills required in teaching and school management. ‘Leaders in education' and not teachers is what she aims to produce.

Sudha Gupta is also one of the nation's most sought after parenting expert. As the chairperson of Mother's Pride chain of pre-nursery schools and Principal of Presidium Senior Secondary School, Sudha Gupta uses her 11 years of experience of dealing with parents and children to pen down some inspiring tips of positive parenting. She has conducted research on thousands of children and parents to reach some very effective methods of parenting. Sudha Gupta has written more than 1000 articles on the subject of parenting in leading newspapers and magazines like Times of India, Hindustan Times, India Today and Femina. She has authored several books on early childhood education and parenting, Celebrate Childhood and Jingling Rhymes to name a few. Her seminars, publications, T.V. and radio programs on parenting have transformed thousands of parents of Mother's Pride and Presidium, her staff of more than a thousand members and over a million of readers and listeners.

Mrs. Sudha Gupta plays another role with aplomb, that of a humanitarian through the NGO Sparsh. The NGO has so far touched the lives of millions of children, the elderly and women who have been victim of life and circumstance. Her next dream is to create a school for mentally challenged children as soon as possible.

Mrs. Sudha Gupta's work speaks louder than her words but it is an inspiration for everyone when she says ‘I want to leave this world a little better than I found it'.