Why can't we all just get along?

Seldom has an issue been so hotly debated on an international level as that of same sex marriage. It has the potential to create irreversible rifts among even the closest of friends and family. People who differ in opinion on this contentious matter often feel devastated and betrayed. This difference of opinion can most often be seen in the generation gap between young people in their teens and twenties, and their parents. The younger generation grew up in a more liberal and open-minded world than their parents did.

The Netherlands, a country known for its liberal approach to freedom of choice, was the first country to legalise same-sex marriage. In 2001, during the first year of same-sex marriages, over 2400 marriages took place. Now, six years later, same-sex marriage has become a non-issue in the Netherlands. It’s as common and as accepted as heterosexual marriage, and just as prone to divorce.

Belgium was the second country to recognise and legalise same-sex marriages. It took Canada four years, from 2002 to 2005, to slowly realise that opposition to same-sex marriage was contrary to their Charter of Rights. The year 2005 also saw same-sex marriages legalised in Spain, while South Africa legalised them in 2006.

The United States of America is held up as a beacon of democracy, freedom and acceptance. It’s the place where people who were persecuted for their way of life fled so that they could live in peace and aspire to prosperity. However, its tolerance and acceptance of diversity is being severely tested with the question of whether or not to allow same-sex marriages to take place. It’s a secular state, which means that it’s not governed by religion, but many of its rights and principle beliefs are based on Christian values.

The opposition to same-sex marriage in the US is based largely on religious grounds. Under the current Republican government, there is a strong push to keep same-sex marriages buried deeply in the closet. Some states within the US, however, interpret the Constitution differently and have legalised same-sex marriages. In 2004, Massachusetts became the first state in the US to recognise the union of same-sex couples. In 2006 the New Jersey Supreme Court recognised the rights of same-sex couples to the same benefits of opposite sex couples under the civil marriage statutes.

The US isn’t the only country where religion governs most decision making. In countries where Catholicism is dominant, there is fierce opposition to same-sex marriages. Pope Benedict XVI announced in a statement that in addition to nuclear arms proliferation, environmental pollution and economic inequality being threats to world peace, the world also has to guard against birth control, abortion and same-sex marriage.

In a separate statement released by the second highest-ranking doctrinal official, homosexual marriage was branded as evil and included in a list with abortion and euthanasia as a form of “terrorism with a human face”. Forceful statements such as these are targeted at the core emotions of all Catholics. As Italy considers giving gay people more rights, these statements are issued with increasing regularity.

As extreme as these views are, there are worse places to be if you are homosexual. In most of Africa homosexuality is illegal and considered morally abhorrent. In many instances it will get you killed. In South Africa, where same-sex marriages are legal, there is still a great deal of prejudice against homosexuality. There have been cases where lesbian women have been gang raped because it’s believed that all they need is to feel “real men” and they will turn straight. Homosexual men are often the targets of street violence and bullying.

The Japanese gay community have it easy compared to that in Africa, as they are no longer considered to be insane. Many still feel that it’s safer to enter fake heterosexual marriages, just in case. Japan is considered to be the most progressive of all the Asian countries.

Considering the debate that still rages around the acceptability of same-sex marriage, it’s worth recognising the courage that homosexual people have in coming out to friends and family. In many cases their homosexuality has been hidden for years. When they’ve been in a stable, loving relationship, however, and want to take it to the next level, certain revelations are required to avoid their grandmother calling for an exorcism in the middle of the ceremony. They face potential tears, denial and ostracism. Many parents never get over the revelation and never speak to their children again. It’s hoped that in most cases parents love their children unconditionally and welcome their new same-sex in-law with open arms and an open mind.

Recommended sites:

http://pewforum.org/news/display.php?NewsID=14597

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSL2336409320070423?pageNumber=2&virtualBrandChannel=0

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/03/04/world/main604084.shtml

http://law-library.rutgers.edu/SSM.html

Sandra wrote this article for the online marketers Wedding News wedding news one of the most informative sites regarding wedding news and all related subjects.