Tax Time Scams--How to keep I.R.S. from Knocking on Your Door

Tax time puts the Law of Argument in the spotlight: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. If you need a match and a cup of gasoline, aimless tax cheating might qualify you for such playthings.

So many of the excuses so many taxpayers use at filing time to avoid paying taxes are totally absurd. They are not only plentiful, but unbelievable, child-like. If they are in training to become a professional con man, they have failed miserably. In prison you spend most of your time in an 8 x 10 cell; at work you spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 cubicle. Maybe these people are trying, in some warped way, to upgrade their lifestyle. Here are some examples of their attempts to qualify:

> The filing of a tax return, and payment of taxes are "voluntary," is the claim. Wrong. You don't say this to IRS any more than you would say to a feminist, "Isn't that cute?" Voluntary only refers to the individual's rights to put the figures together. The right to file, and pay, is definitely involuntary. To the point of a pounding drum beat, courts have repeatedly told us this.

> The filing of a zero return, entering the figure 0 on every line. Some taxpayers even go so far as to request a refund of their taxes withheld. Insanity? At times it seems reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. This doesn't even have the first raw rudiments of a legal scam.

> Contention: Section 6020(6) of the tax code requires the IRS to prepare a federal tax return for any person who does not file. Another nutty, unimaginative argument. (Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.) Oh, if you don't file, IRS will file for you alright. They will gather the figures on compensation, and tax you on the entire gross amount. No split-out gross / adjustable gross / net income figures here.

> Some actually assert that wages, tips, and other compensation received for personal services rendered are not income--because, get this, there is no taxable gain when a person "exchanges" labor for money. This "reasoning" is like trying to figure why a woman can't apply mascara with her mouth closed. Still another head-scratcher.

> Federal Reserve Notes are not money. Why? Because they cannot be exchanged for gold or silver. How about wampum?

> Some claim they have rejected U.S. citizenship in favor of state citizenship, thereby freeing themselves of all obligations to pay federal taxes. Easy way out, huh? After all, there is no recorded case of an ostrich ever having died of suffocation from burying its head in the sand.

> Some even go so far as to claim that the United States consists only of the District of Columbia, federal territories, e.g. Puerto Rico, Guam, etc., and federal enclaves such as Indian reservations and military bases; therefore non-residents of these enclaves are tax exempt. Dreamers, dreamers, dreamers. (Never give yourself a haircut after 3 Martinis.)

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once? Is that the driving motivation?
Real people. Real thought processes. But, you must ask, are these people all living in the real world?

The Con Man's Blog, and first two chapters of Jack Payne's legal thriller book, Six Hours Past Thursday, are now available online. Both readable for free. You are invited. www.sixhrs.com