http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/society/weddings/significance-of-a-betel-leaf-in-indian-weddings.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/weddings/significance-of-a-betel-leaf-in-indian-weddings.html Wed, 27 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600 Indian matrimonial is considered complete without the presence of at least one of the above. Leaves like the betel, banana, mango, Neem, tulsi, durva are intrinsically woven into the tapestry of Indian weddings.

The betel leaf enjoys the pride of place among all the accessories of a Hindu wedding. The betel leaf denotes freshness and prosperity. Betel leaves or the tambool, which comprises betel leaf, areca nut and lime, marks the beginnings of all auspicious events. In Indian matrimonial, alliances are sealed by exchanging the tambool. Invitations for an Indian marriage are distributed with tambool forming an important part of the invite. The betel is associated with the Trinity, Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. Brahma: arecanut, Vishnu: betel leaf, and Shiva: lime.

The grooms' party is welcomed with betel leaves and every event in the wedding is solemnized with betel leaves. The tambool is the minimum and essential part of hospitality in every Indian wedding.

In some weddings, a betel leaf is tucked into the headgear of the bride and groom.

In certain regions the groom's mother or sister gives a ceremonial welcome to the bride. Seven cups are placed on a platter along with fruits, betel leaves, rice, sacred ash, turmeric, salt, tamarind and cotton. A measuring cup is filled with paddy and a betel leaf is placed on it. This is called the 'nirai nazhi'. Water is placed in a vessel and the bride stands facing the east. The person performing the ceremony touches the seven cups three times and puts sacred ash on herself and on the bride. After this is done twenty one times, the bride is given a betel leaf and water is poured on it. The person conducting the ceremony touches the leaf to her forehead giving her a ceremonial welcome.
In yet another ritual comprising the betel, the girl's brother gives the ceremonial first betel to the couple to chew . This ritual is the thaamboola charvanam.
Betel leaves along with coconut or fruit are given as a token of thanks to every guest attending the wedding.

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Anish Sapra is a relationship expert specializing in Marriage, Family and Relationships.He has written authoritative articles on relationships and marriage and is currently assisting Shaadi.com and Shaaditimes.com as a Family and Relationship specialist.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/the-indian-matrimonial-dictionary.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/the-indian-matrimonial-dictionary.html Wed, 20 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600
Indian matrimonial columns are something. When it comes to attitude and language, there's no beating them. They also reveal a lot about society. 'Wheatish', 'homely', 'convent-educated', 'innocent divorcee' - are terms you find in Indian matrimonial classifieds and carry their own esoteric meanings.

To begin with, are 'brides wanted' and 'grooms wanted' really derogatory terms treating love as commodity in the 'marriage market' governed by the economic principles of demand and supply? But many people like Swapan Mukherjee, Sociologist by profession, disagrees, "Brides Wanted and Grooms Wanted are not derogatory terms. They signify the need of the advertiser and classify the requirement in specific columns." On the other hand Psychologist Chrisann Almeida feels, "Marriage is deemed essential for virtually everyone in India, so the term "wanted" actually reflects an almost dire need, so I don't think it's derogatory as such. I'm disheartened about the lack of romance, but this is the reality of things in India."

Matrimonial advertisements haven't shown much change over the years. Ever since the 50s almost everyone wanted to marry a fair girl and the groom had to be financially established and from a so-called respectable family. Though most families were quite particular as far as caste and even gotra was considered, even in 1947, there were advertisements in which 'caste, community and religion' were no bar. Divorces were quite unheard of in 1947 but there were grooms from liberal families quite open to the idea of marrying a widow. However, over the years more importance has been paid to a girl's professional and academic background. When India just got independent it would generally suffice if the girl was just a matriculate and even 16-year-olds were considered old enough for marriage. Dowry hadn't been made a crime so it was asked for openly in print. Browsing through Indian matrimonial classifieds which appeared in the Amrita Bazar Patrika in 1947, one comes across lines like, 'preference to party willing to bear groom's foreign studies expenses' or 'reasonable / liberal dowry'. There were a few cases in which no dowry was asked for or the bride's father boldly refused to pay dowry. A nationalistic father had advertised in the year of the Indian Independence for his daughter's marriage stating- 'unable to pay adequate dowry according to modern foppish standards.'

A glance at contemporary Indian matrimonial classifieds reveals words like 'beautiful', 'professionally-qualified', 'respectable family', 'caring' etc... this may lead one to wonder - are all those who are advertising themselves as good-looking, virtuous and from well-to-do families as claimed in print? If it was really so why don't we see as many gorgeous looking people with great jobs all around us in everyday life? Why doesn't humility ever feature in matrimonial classifieds?

The above just proves matrimonial advertising is very simply either about selling yourself, or sourcing a suitable mate, so you go the whole hog and sell yourself as hard as you can. Ever heard of any manufacturer underselling his product or service? Ditto for matrimonial ads!

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Anish Sapra is a relationship expert specializing in Marriage, Family and Relationships.He has written authoritative articles on relationships and marriage and is currently assisting Shaadi.com and Shaaditimes.com as a Family and Relationship specialist.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/how-did-you-meet-your-partner.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/how-did-you-meet-your-partner.html Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600
Choosing Partners Online
Whenever someone asks Nina how she met her husband, she proudly says, "Online!" But of course, I think to myself... Where else would one meet up with one's significant other nowadays?

Actually, this attitude is probably not the norm in society. At least not yet. But before long, it wouldn't surprise me to find that matrimonial sites have surpassed other forms of meeting one's significant other. Simply because it is well-ordered, produces better matches and lets love to bloom when the silly things (such as actually having something in common) are already taken care of way ahead of time.

Well-Ordered
Using online matrimonial sites are far better ordered than other methods of partner search. Getting set up by friends or family is purely a hit-or-miss proposition, while well wishers, friends and family often don't really know us half as well as they think they do. We don't often share all of the intimate details of our lives, our likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams for the future with everyone. So people can get somewhat biased ideas of what we're like, because they only see what we're like with them.

Office romances, while convenient, are often burdened with possible problems, danger, and role conflicts. Encountering people randomly at clubs or in bookstores or other interests such as hobbies is pure chance. While appealing to our romantic, impulsive side, you're better off throwing darts at random names within a phone book. There's nothing efficient or really, fun, about spending countless hours drinking in a club looking for supposed "Mr. Right." Chances are he left with the woman just before you.

Better Matches
Matrimonial sites allows you to get to know the person you may want to meet long before you ever actually have to meet them! How cool is that? Most people communicate a great deal by email or IM first, before talking on the phone. You've spent time reading their online profile, which includes not only their likes and dislikes, but hopes, dreams, reading and movie preferences, hobbies, annual income and in some cases, shoe sizes. While these things vary in importance, they provide a fairly accurate snapshot of a person (or at least as much as they want you to know).

There's been a great deal of research to show that couples who are more compatible are more likely to remain committed in a relationship to one another. Lack of compatibility often comes from lack of knowledge and knowing one's partner as honestly and truly as one believes. Online services gives you the chance to slow things down a bit and really get to know the person, again, sometimes long before you've ever gone on that first face-to-face date. That's a good thing, because it means you're more likely to find compatibility that works for you online.

Let Love To Bloom
Once you start meeting people through an online site, you already know a lot about the person when you go on your first date. That doesn't mean everything will always go smoothly, or that every proposal is going to be one with Ms. Right. But it does mean that you can relax your guard a little and stop worrying about providing and getting information from the other, or discover that every hobby or interest you like, he detests. Instead, you're starting out on common ground with a lot to talk about and a lot to enjoy. With so much less pressure on your meeting, online sites allow love to take root and more fully bloom far more easily than other methods.

Matrimonial sites may still seem a bit odd to some people, but then again, those folks have discovered the secret of it. You have, or are considering it, and for that, you're already a step ahead of many others. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

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Anish Sapra is a relationship expert specializing in Marriage, Family and Relationships. He has written authoritative articles on relationships and marriage and is currently assisting Shaadi.com and Shaaditimes.com as a Family and Relationship specialist.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/the-united-couples-of-india.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/the-united-couples-of-india.html Fri, 08 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500
Love is like water, it finds its own way. Today, we see more intercommunity marriages taking place than at any other time. When Dr. Manmohan Singh opened up the floodgates of our economy in 1991, little must he have realized that his move will also help a thousand flowers bloom in the garden of love? When the Indian markets opened up, new jobs started coming into India. And this led to a large-scale migration of people within the country. You would find a Haryanvi & an Iyenagar, a Bengali & a Marathi manoos sharing cubicles and hobnobbing at office water fountains. And it included people of the opposite sexes, too. Young hearts and fertile minds, which could survive on love and fresh air, threw issues like religion and caste in the recycle bin. All they were looking for was compatibility and unconditional love.

The new companies that came into India were MNCs, and they brought their professional work culture along with them. That meant reward for good work, irrespective of the gender, and longer working hours. This spelt more opportunities for Indian women and extended time in the office and more interaction with co-workers of the opposite sex. Also, in a new city, an individual is all on his own and very lonely. A few loving words, and a warm shoulder, work like magic and bring strangers closer. Besides, in an unknown city, one tends to grow more adventurous, as the fear of being caught is left back in the old town. Offices became breeding grounds of romance.

Those who could not find love at their workplace resorted to the web. Lunchtimes in the office were spent surfing matrimonial websites. These sites replaced the friendly neighbourhood aunty who would arrive at the doorstep every alternate day with a new proposal. Instead of doing the rounds of marriage bureaus due to paucity of time, people could look for possible matches at the click of the mouse. More than the usual search criteria of religion, these websites offered criteria such as Education & Career, Lifestyle, and Location for searching for a life partner. Moreover they enabled a search of potential partners from across the globe. So an Indian in Gurgaon could find a life partner from the US or UK and vice versa. For a nominal charge, the websites provided a platform for people and enabled them to meet people belonging to the same mindsets, rather than religions. Today, websites, like Shaadi.com, have gone a step further and are offering a range of wedding services under one roof. The flowers, the venue, the catering… you name it and they will arrange it, not just in India but even abroad. For the young upwardly mobile generation of Indians with long working hours and globe trotting careers, this has proved to be a real boon. Shaadi.com also has a panel of experts on its website that provide advice on various matrimony related issues. Thanks to the huge choice from across the world and ease of use, not only are the young flocking to these websites but also the older generation and specials cases such as physically challenged people. These websites are coming into their own, and becoming a very strong part of the marriage market in India. By bringing people closer, they are facilitating an exchange of new ideas, thus playing an important role in our society.

Today’s generation is headstrong and, yet, very thoughtful. It doesn’t hurry into taking decisions, but when it makes one, it sticks by it. Economic independence has led to a new boldness among youngsters who are determined to make their own paths and follow their heart and head. Their offspring is the product of people following different religions, and the ‘mixed breed’ grows up in homes where it is exposed to two different ways of life. It has allowed the young minds to imbibe the tenets of different religions, they worship different Gods and Goddesses, they pray with raised and closed palms at the same time. Young minds are like wet cement, they take the desired shape quickly, and it stays that way for the rest of their lives. These children mature quickly, and are more accommodative and understanding when it comes to the issues of caste and religion.

Even today, in India, in educated middle and upper middle class families, a large percentage of marriages are arranged, and mostly done within a caste or community.. The number of intercaste marriages though less, is growing at a fast pace. The 40’s & 50’s generation is realizing this, and is acquiescing to the wishes of its children, and is happily marrying off their sons and daughters into communities other than their own. The growing trend of intercommunity marriages is likely to have a significant and positive bearing on the social fabric of our society. People coming from such mixed family backgrounds are less likely to create communal disturbances and, in fact, act as shock absorbers in sensitive situations.

India is a land of peace and tolerance. Buddha and Gandhi have walked this land. Followers of different religions, who faced persecution in foreign countries, made India their home, further enriching our society with their new thinking, ideals and culture. The practice of inter caste marriages has a similar effect on the society. This will lead to a more tolerant and accommodative India, an India that is colorful, peaceful and a kaleidoscope of happy faces.

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Anish Sapra is a relationship expert specializing in Marriage, Family and Relationships. He has written authoritative articles on relationships and marriage and is currently assisting Shaadi.com and Shaaditimes.com as a Family and Relationship specialist.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>