http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/20-plus-locations-and-tips-for-a-fun-and-safe-first-date.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/20-plus-locations-and-tips-for-a-fun-and-safe-first-date.html Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500
If you are a female planning to date someone you have never met in person, a first date can also be a time of danger. Read this article and you will receive several suggestions and tips for successful - and safe - first dates.

Essential First Date Basics

For the purposes of this article, I am assuming that your potential date is a stranger. It is therefore extremely important that you retain some degree of anonymity - and security - until you are reasonably sure that he is a safe person with whom to begin a relationship.

Carefully observe the following dating rules:

Do not have your date pick you up at home. Initially, your address (and telephone number) should remain a secret.

Always make sure that a friend or relative knows exactly where you will be going and when you will be returning.

Arrange for someone to contact you via cell phone at specified times. If you don't pick up, it is a signal that you are in some kind of trouble.

Always plan your first few dates for public places. The less confident you are of your date, the more careful you should be to select locations where video surveillance is in place.

If you have a camera cell phone, discreetly snap a photo of your date. When the opportunity arises, excuse yourself to use the washroom facilities, and e-mail the photo to a friend.

Never leave your drink unattended - not even for a second. It only takes a quick sleight of hand for a guy to drug your beverage.

Do not choose a noisy place for your date. This is your opportunity to talk and get acquainted.

First Date Locations

The following date ideas are generally arranged with the more secure and safer locations first; i.e., they are public and more likely to have video surveillance.

Be very observant on this date. Do you have similar tastes? Or are you total opposites? Although opposites attract, they do not usually result in the greatest long term relationships.

Go on a double date with another couple whose opinion you trust.

Meet for lunch in a shopping mall food court. This is your chance to watch your date's eyes. Do you they stay glued to you - or do they wander to check out every girl who walks by?

Meet at a local Starbucks. Starbucks serves great coffee and they are often next door to a book store. You can have coffee and then stroll through the book store together. A guy's choice of books reveals volumes about his personality.

Go for a window shopping jaunt. Take mental notes of his preferences. Are they similar to yours?

Get together for lunch at a small restaurant. If the weather is warm and dry, try to find one with sidewalk tables or a balcony.

Amusement parks can be a blast with the right man. You can talk while waiting in line or while walking from ride to ride.

Meet at a zoo or aquarium. Does he feel the same way you do about animal cruelty, conservation, and the environment?

Book tickets with a local bus tour or day cruise that you haven't tried before. Most people don't visit local tourist attractions. If the date doesn't pan out, you'll experience something new to talk about with the next guy you meet.

Explore a local museum. Museums are great settings for leisurely talks while you stroll and pore over all the exhibits.

Attend a local sporting event. Most spectator sports get the adrenaline pumping - and you can chat during intermissions or lulls in the play.

Try a sport like tennis, badminton, or squash. You can talk later as you grab snacks at a nearby fast food outlet. There is nothing like one-on-one sports to gauge a guy's patience, temperament, and competiveness.

Mini golf is enjoyable - and you'll have lots of time to chat.

Try volunteering for a charitable organization in some kind of group activity like a bottle drive or environmental cleanup.

A horse-and-carriage or hayride is a 'funtastic' event (if neither of you has allergies).

Here are a few more date ideas: planetarium, train ride, plant or butterfly conservatory, bowling, game arcade, roller skating, ice skating, driving range, picnic in a public park, billiards/pool, wine tasting tour, flea market.

Use your common sense to ensure that your first date is safe - but try to make it enjoyable as well.

(c) Copyright Becca Bee and Advice4Daters.com. This article is free to publish as long as links in the author's resource box remain clickable and the author's byline is included.


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Becca writes regular dating advice articles for Advice4Daters, and adult getaway articles for Adult Escapes. She also works behind the scenes at 1st Rate Articles.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/what-is-the-best-way-to-tell-him-i-just-want-to-be-friends.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/what-is-the-best-way-to-tell-him-i-just-want-to-be-friends.html Tue, 02 Jan 2007 00:00:00 -0600
I really need some advice. I hope you can help.

Recently, I started chatting online with an ex-boyfriend. This was after three years of non-contact. Things went well, and after a few months we decided to remain friends - no romantic involvement.

He has had a girlfriend for the past two years, and he claims that he is really in love with her. I am ok with that - and have told him so. I do care for him - but only as 'friends'. I respect his feelings (even though he is inconsiderate of mine) and have patiently listened to him rant on about his current relationship.

They broke up a little while ago after experiencing intermittent problems that had lasted several months. We continued to chat online, and he provided me with all the gory details of their relationship and breakup. I have been supportive and respectful of both him and his girlfriend through all of this.

Unfortunately, the consideration and respect seems to be one way. He has walked all over my feelings more than once. I don't like his attitude - but I don't want to alienate him as a friend, either. How can I tell him how I feel? I want to remain friends.

Any tips or help you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely, 'Ambivalent Gal Pal'

********************

Dear Ambivalent Gal Pal:

Your alias says it all - you are ambivalent. Here is the dictionary definition of ambivalence, according to Merriam-Webster:

1 - simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action

2a - continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite)

2b - uncertainty as to which approach to follow

You seem to be all of the above.

It is difficult to balance a friendship with the leftover emotions from a past relationship. Your previous experiences and feelings are always there to cloud your judgment.

You claim that you want to be friends, and you continue to chat with this guy, even though he tramples all over your feelings.

Where is your self-esteem? Do you enjoy being stepped on? I think you need to step back and take a calculated look at the picture. Stay away from him completely for awhile and date other men. There are many sweet guys in the world who are looking for the right woman - wonderful guys who will treat you with respect. All you have to do is find them.

The details about your ex-boyfriend's relationships with you and his last girlfriend are rather sparse. However, I sense that there may be some emotional abuse involved. If that is the case, run - don't walk - away from this situation. Abused wives often start out as abused girlfriends.

You are a unique individual with your own special strengths and weaknesses. There is nobody else in the world quite like you. Capitalize on your strengths. Look at yourself in the mirror and do the Al Franken routine (remember 'Saturday Night Live'?)

- You're good enough.

- You're smart enough.

- People like you!

The routine on SNL may have been geared for comedy - but it did contain some solid advice.

All the best!

Becca


All advice given by Becca is for entertainment purposes only. Please seek professional help for serious problems.

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Becca writes regularly for the Advice 4 Daters website - and is one of the cogs behind the machinery at 1st Rate Articles - new to the net as of November, 2006.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/why-is-her-profile-private-all-of-a-sudden.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/why-is-her-profile-private-all-of-a-sudden.html Wed, 20 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600
I have had a couple of dates with an incredible lady who I met via an online dating site. Her profile used to be public, but suddenly it is private. Do you think she did that because she is interested in me and wants to see how things go between us? In other words, does this mean that she is she making herself unavailable to everyone else right now?

Sincerely, 'Optimistic'

********************

Dear Optimistic:

This is an interesting letter. I think there may be two possibilities to consider.

How did your dates go? Was she actively interested in what you had to say? Did she ask you questions about your family, interests, and occupation? Did she respond to your questions with complete answers? Did she laugh at your jokes? Did she seem generally happy, smiling for no apparent reason every once in awhile, maybe accompanied by a slight blush?

After your dates, did she stay in touch with you via online chat, email, or telephone?

If your answers to most of the above questions are positive, you may be right about the profile change. However, consider the following:

Did she seem reserved and secretive during your dates, refusing to answer personal questions? Did her eyes wander to check out other guys in the vicinity?

Does her telephone get picked up by the answering machine every time you call? - assuming that she even gave you her phone number. Does she ignore your emails or chat invitations?

Did your dates with her have any truly embarrassing moments or uncomfortable lapses in conversation where neither of you could think of anything to say?

A 'yes' answer to any of these questions might be a symptom of a doomed relationship; HOWEVER, a desire for privacy does not necessarily mean that she isn't interested in you.

Well-publicized Internet stalkings, swindles, and abuse have given the net a bad reputation with many people when it comes to the online relationship scene. The actual percentage of Internet exploitation is very small - but it does exist and must be considered as a factor in every dating encounter.

Your lady friend may be doing what she feels necessary to protect herself until she feels completely comfortable with you. Bravo for her!

Awkward lapses in conversation are not in themselves a bad sign - but combined with other symptoms, they might be significant.

The bottom line is, you will not know for sure unless you talk to her and get some feedback. Men, as a rule, are less intuitive about subtle clues in behavior than most women.

Ask her where you stand, and then make a decision to forge ahead with the relationship - or redirect your attention to someone else.

All the best!

Becca


All advice given by Becca is for entertainment purposes only. Please seek professional help for serious problems.


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Becca provides dating and relationship advice at Advice 4 Daters - and works behind the scenes at 1st Rate Articles - new to the net as of November, 2006.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/i-slept-with-him-now-hes-distant.-what-did-i-do-wrong.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/i-slept-with-him-now-hes-distant.-what-did-i-do-wrong.html Tue, 12 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600
I have been dating a guy. The other day we slept together - and now he is standoffish. He told me that he needs some space, because he has a problem in his life that he has to iron out right now. I'm not sure what I should do next. Can you help?

Sincerely, 'Bewildered'

********************

Dear Bewildered:

You are facing a commonplace dilemma. However, the reasons for this type of situation are not always the same. I will give you some points to consider - and perhaps they will help you to unravel the mystery.

Is your relationship long-term, or have you known the guy for just a few days?

Religious convictions, cultural biases, and upbringing affect everyone to varying degrees. We generally consider ourselves a liberated society - but these childhood roots go deep. Perhaps your date feels remorse and guilt. He may even consider you immoral.

Did your lovemaking go well? Were you both happy with your time in bed - or did it feel awkward in any way? Do you have a deep-rooted suspicion that something serious happened during this time?

You and your partner are the only two people who can answer these questions.

Carefully recall every detail and try to zero in on the exact moment you noticed a change in his behavior. Now mentally review the immediately preceding events. Can you remember anything specific?

Did you infer by words or actions that you expect some kind of a commitment now that your relationship has progressed to the next level?

Has your partner had other relationships with similar problems? For the answer to this question, you need to have an open discussion with him. A similar past may indicate that he is a man who feels trapped by close emotional ties.

Then there is the type of guy who enjoys chasing a woman until he catches her. Once the relationship is consummated, the euphoria of conquest dwindles and he quickly loses interest.

On the plus side: perhaps none of the above applies - and he is actually falling in love with you. He may be experiencing panic due to a fear of rejection. Once you commit to someone, your heart becomes vulnerable and easily hurt.

After you consider all of the above thoughts very carefully, you may realize that you have a reasonably good idea of when and where your problem occurred. Try to allow reason to rule over passion, then make some logical decisions based on what you know, not what you feel.

Attempt to get more feedback from him by meeting for a frank discussion. Sure, most guys don't like to talk - but use your feminine wiles or whatever else you have in your arsenal to make him comfortable before you broach the topic.

As liberated as we are supposed to be nowadays, talking about sex and relationships can make many people blush. Forget the embarrassment and forge ahead - your relationship is at stake.

Once your meeting with him is over, determine what happens next. Do you think there is anything worth salvaging? Or should you resolve to move on?

Good luck with this difficult situation!

Becca


All advice given by Becca is for entertainment purposes only. Please seek professional help for serious problems.

--
Becca writes regularly for Advice 4 Daters - and is one of the people behind the scenes at 1st Rate Articles - new to the net as of November, 2006.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/writing/are-you-aware-of-these-article-submission-tips-and-tricks.html http://www.articletrader.com/writing/are-you-aware-of-these-article-submission-tips-and-tricks.html Mon, 13 Nov 2006 00:00:00 -0600
Whether you use article submission software or submit your articles manually, there are some advance preparations that will make your job much easier.

Of course before you submit, you must write an article. At the bottom of this page is a handy text template. Although the character counts in the template given here are less than indicated, there is a link in the resource box to an online template with correct parameters.

Compose your article in your favorite word processor; 500-1000 words is an optimal length. Before you begin, set the font to Courier 10 point. This should force your word processor to use plain text characters for quotes, rather than smart quotes and other characters that may cause problems. Allow your typing to wrap naturally. Press the 'Enter' key twice between paragraphs or other important blocks of text.

Avoid using double quotation marks. Instead, opt for single quotes [']. Utilize your word processor's spell-check and grammar features, and check everything meticulously once your article is ready for submission. Then copy and paste into the template, using Notepad or a similar program.

If you see any strange-looking characters on your screen, perform a search and replace and convert them to plain text equivalents.

Your title should be kept below 60 characters. The line under 'TITLE' (*in the online template*), including the leading letters, contains exactly 60. Although most directories permit more, for SEO purposes you should keep your title within this limit. Your title is usually displayed in search engine results. Google will show approximately 68-70 characters. However, article sites often precede the title with a word like 'Articles' or 'Content'. This must be added to the character count.

Once you are satisfied with the title, delete the first line of the template, if you wish.

If suitable, you can utilize the first paragraph of your article as a summary. Otherwise write an appropriate summary in your word processor - and keep it short. A 250-character count is ideal.

The article itself should be copied and pasted below the 'ARTICLE' heading.

In the 'AUTHOR'S NOTE' area, place your bio or linking information. Do not add html at this point - just bare links. Avoid immediately following a URL with a period or other punctuation. Some article directories will not format your link(s) correctly if you do.

Under 'NO AUTO LINKS' copy and paste your bio text, then format the links with html 'href' codes for the directories that allow it.

The 'COPYRIGHT' section is for an occasional article directory that requires it.

The 'KEYWORDS' area is where you enter two lines of comma-separated keywords. The number of characters, including the letters, is 100 (*in the online template*). Some directories allow 100, others up to 200.

Save as a plain text (.txt) file - but don't exit yet!

Go through your copy and add html, as appropriate. Some directories allow codes for bold, italics, unordered lists, ordered lists, etc. Save the file again - indicating in the filename that this is the HTML version.

For example, you should have two filenames, similar to the following:

How-to-Write-an-Article.txt
How-to-Write-an-Article-HTML.txt

Next set up a spreadsheet. The first time you submit to a new directory, do a manual submission. You can register if required, get a feel for the 'tone' of the directory, and check format and linking requirements. Make notes in your spreadsheet. If you use article submission software for subsequent submissions, you will know exactly how to configure your program for each directory.

The resource box at the end of this article provides a link to a page with both versions of a sample article, the template, and an example spreadsheet.

Good luck with your submissions!

---------- Begin Template ----------

TITLE:

60CHAR===============

SUMMARY:

ARTICLE:

Author's Note:

NO AUTO LINKS:

COPYRIGHT:

Copyright YOUR NAME - YOUR LINK - This article is free to publish as long as links remain clickable.

KEYWORDS:
100CHAR==============

----------- End Template -----------


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There is an online version of the article template and a sample article in both of the above-mentioned formats at 1st Rate Articles - along with an example spreadsheet.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/i-love-her-but-she-just-wants-to-be-friends-any-advice.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/i-love-her-but-she-just-wants-to-be-friends-any-advice.html Thu, 09 Nov 2006 00:00:00 -0600
I have been friends with this girl for about three years. We have become very close over that time. We hang out a lot, we have gotten physical in the past (no sex), but always kept it loose. We even 'sleep together' on occasion.

Here is my problem. I have fallen in love with her. She knows about it, and is not completely opposed to the idea of us dating. However, she doesn't want to lose me as a friend if we were to break up. She has in the past been in situations like ours and has lost good friends because of it. I really want to see what could happen with this relationship. I just have no idea what I should do, because in my heart I know I can't go back. Any ideas?

Sincerely, 'Confused'

********************

Dear Confused:

I have been trying to determine how old you are. You appear to have a good command of grammar. Given the clues in your letter, I am guessing that you are not a young teenager. My advice for someone who is thirteen years of age is different than it would be for an adult.

As human beings, we are very adaptable and can fall in love with more than one personality type. However, puppy love crushes aside, we usually know deep down when we are absolutely devoted to another person.

So, I have to ask you: are you really and truly, body and soul, in love with this girl? She appears to have some kind of affection for you at this point. That could change; but after three years, if love were to flower, there should be at least a blossom sprouting at this point.

Have you lavished gifts on her? Is she stringing you along because she doesn't want the gravy train to stop? Be honest.

How many good friends has she lost in the past? A couple of similar situations may be isolated instances. However, three or more unsuccessful affairs may be evidence of a trend. This girl may be shallow and incapable of a loving relationship right now. Or she may really have been hurt by someone in the past.

You need to sit down with her and discuss her past relationships in depth. Don't let love blind you. Before your discussion, write down or type out some questions. Try to anticipate what she might say and think of more questions - sort of like a computer flowchart. Spend some time with what you have written and try to commit it to memory (not word for word - just the general gist of everything).

The very act of flowcharting may give you some direction and open your mind to possibilities you hadn't previously considered.

If you and the girl cannot come to a meeting of the minds after your heart-to-heart discussion, it might be wise to seek out professional help.

The rest of your life may be at stake here. Use your head - and not the little one - in a mature way.

All the best!

Becca

All advice given by Becca is for entertainment purposes only. Please seek professional help for serious problems.

--
Becca writes regularly for Advice 4 Daters - and is one of the people behind the scenes at 1st Rate Articles - new to the net as of November, 2006.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>