http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/avoid-rejection.html http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/avoid-rejection.html Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600
Actual rejection can be caused by many reasons: lack of reciprocal interest, circumstances like societal codes or boundaries, desire to make the other person perceive difficulty ("playing hard to get") and fear of placing himself or herself in a situation of vulnerability and heightened interaction.

An undue course of action (inaction) of rejection generally refers to unresponsive act of a request from the other person. An example of undue course of action (inaction) is that the targeted person is not returning a phone call, an e-mail message, etc, and thereby he is creating a feeling of rejection. Whether or not the action or inaction is done wontedly to reject someone, the person who is requesting or expecting a response would perceive it as negatively. She or he would create negative thinking in their mind that would lead to a feel of rejection. For Example, He is refusing to return my call because he does not like me, and I do not matter that is why she has not responded, etc. In reality perhaps the other person has not responded because she or he was on vacation or had forgot or simply that the caller forgot to provide a return number, etc.

However, the feeling of rejection whether the actual rejection occurs can make the person experiencing it undergoes a sudden drop in emotion, learning that the defensive desire is dashed. This is displayed as something ranging from an unclear sadness to major depression; and at the same time the rejected person senses helplessness consciously, perceiving that he or she is at the rejecting person's mercy.

People avoid or cope with rejection in several ways. For example, they may wish to correct these circumstances and to bring the rejecting person within their control. In this case a person may, for example, compile poems and unsent letters, a relatively safe way. Destructive responses include stalking or powerfully abducting the rejecting person.

The experience of rejection is often complex in the presence of spectators. The mere attention of spectators, either during or drawn by an act of rejection, may seem embarrassing to the person rejected. It goes without saying that in severe cases he or she may feel pilloried. The prospect of this occurrence is named as a cause for fear of rejection.

The person who operates out of a fear of rejection ends up pushing away the very friends, family, and helpers who care for him or her. The pulling away of these caring ones appears to be rejection, and the vicious cycle goes on with unhelpful results.

To avoid being rejected, see that you spend a normal life with your friends, lover, ex-lover, girlfriends, parents and in the society.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/build-confidence.html http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/build-confidence.html Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600 Confidence is the feeling that you are sure you can complete a complex or even dangerous task. Feeling confident means you are sure of your skills and ability to succeed in a given task. It is an internal determination of how sure you are of your skills. Lack of confidence means you are not sure that you can complete an activity successfully. Your confidence of being able to do something is based on your track record of succeeding in various similar tasks. The feeling of self-confidence is learned and can be passed from one task to another task.

People with low confidence level are people who are stressed out. They are so harsh and strict on themselves that they tend to bring their own self-confidence down without anyone else helping them to. So, the first thing you will need to do is to relax and de-stress in the evening after work or 3 times a week. Yoga is generally good; you can try that if you want. Self-hypnosis is fabulous too. But if you do not have a budget for all those fancy classes, switch on some relaxing music and just sit there, with your legs cross, concentrate of breathing. Focus on every single breath you take and feel the anger and the confusion disperse with every single breath you exhale.

One reason people are not confident after successfully completing a task or achieving a difficult goal is because they often do not acknowledge their achievement and may even demean what they have done. Another reason some people are not confident is they look at a task or a goal as a large entity. Success or failure is determined by the outcome that may come after days or months of toiling. Some people wontedly take on tasks that are way over their head, such that they are assured of failure. They do this to re-enforce their apparent lack of self-confidence.

The way to build confidence is to: Break tasks into smaller units; acknowledge your success for each step, and learn from your mistakes to re-enforce your confidence.

Break task into smaller steps: Before you set out to perform a task or try to achieve a goal, you must realize that the activity is in fact a series of smaller steps. This is a basic concept in any type of task planning. Thus, instead of waiting until the end to examine if you are successful, you have a series of successes, leading up to the finish.

Acknowledge success for each step: For each one of these steps, you must acknowledge your success. Congratulate yourself each time whenever you succeed. If you do not do well, correct your error. Take care about warning yourself, except in extreme cases.

Re-enforce overall confidence: This self-talk will re-enforce your acknowledgment of your abilities and increase your confidence as you go along on achieving the goal.

You can build your confidence by acknowledging your successes for each step along the way to achieve a goal. The self-congratulations will build and re-enforce your confidence along the way feeling like a champion.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/sexuality/soul-mate.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/sexuality/soul-mate.html Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600 Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – thought to be the eventual soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms carries such mystical connotations; they are sometimes used only as an expression of strong emotional feeling for someone.

Like many spiritual beliefs, the concepts of twin spirits or soul mates are predicated upon deep spiritual experiences for which there are actually no adequate words. We use metaphors to describe such experiences until the experiences become so commonplace that new words evolve to more accurately describe our experiences or the metaphors stick like glue and we come to accept the metaphor as a literal description when in fact it may still fall short of being a valid description of our experience.

While it is definitely true that many of us have experiences in which we recognize another soul with whom we are intimately connected in some inexplicable way, perhaps we should examine the metaphors we use to describe these experiences to shed some light on what may really be going on. Metaphors are used to apply past experiences, which we recognize to new experiences, which we have no proper concepts for. Without clearly understood concepts we can have no words, which exactly describe our new experiences, which is why we must resort to metaphors. But a metaphor is an approximate likeness between two experiences which will typically accurately describe our familiar experience but which will provide only a reasonably close ‘as-if’ description of our new experience.

So when we meet someone with whom we feel we can share a common past or destiny we search for a way to explain this feeling and our culture has developed the concepts of soul mates and twin spirits to accommodate our basic need for words to describe how we feel.

The metaphors of soul mates and twin spirits come from our actual experiences with having partners in life, our mates, or having known someone with a twin, a biological condition. Both indicate a degree of relatedness that is over and above the way we appear to be related to most other people in our lives and that is the essence of what we are trying to express when we find someone with whom we communicate on a very deep level of our souls.

However, there are considerations, which may make the concepts of soul mates and spiritual twins valid metaphors for our experiences of being thoroughly related with another person’s soul. Perhaps our souls have somehow divided themselves and our souls have thereby created an independent soul mate. This is one explanation, which would make soul mates or twin spirits a reasonably valid metaphor for the experience of meeting a very special person.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior and have given some very good tips for finding your soul mates and spiritual twins

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/insecurity.html http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/insecurity.html Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600 insecurity in several ways. The mind is full of self-defense mechanisms - it can be very creative undeniably. Insecurity can turn us into someone we in reality are not. Woman hates a man who is insecure. They hate a man who dies for a woman to get their attention and they hate a man who is insecure with the decisions he makes.

You finally got the girl of your choice. She is smart, beautiful, and very sexy. She is everything that you have ever wanted in a woman. Every time you both go out, you notice all the guys noticing her. In turn, you hold her closely in a protective manner and send foul looks to the gawkers. You watch her every move and feel a hint of insecurity at times when it is not warranted. You constantly call to check her and then count the seconds before she returns your call. You feel enormously paranoid when she goes out with girlfriends or co-workers. You instantaneously feel rage when she looks at another guy, however innocent it may be. She does not let you listen to your music in the car on the way home from your first meet. Do not have a cry how she does not let you listen to your music. Change it back and tell her when she is driving she can choose the music. Be strong and do not show the soft side of you for stupid things.

You feel consumed by your insecurities, directing your energy towards over covetousness and jealousy instead. You try to buy her time and attention by buying her gifts, dinners and taking her away on vacations. You also prefer to spend your time with her at home only and not out in public for fear of her looking at other men. You always use possessive and isolate tactics on her.

You may have had some really bad experiences before regarding loyalty and relationships and you do not want this to happen to you again. You strongly pledge your guarantee that she is the only one in your life. Male insecurity has been proven to be directly connected with a deficiency in the size of the male person. Many guys feel disdain and regularly envy towards other men who are better off than themselves. Having more money means you could most likely buy your girl bigger and better gifts that you think makes you highly desirable and attractive.

All men, merely like women, need to be liked and loved. They want to be respected, adored, and valued. Men want to feel special and important to someone.

You need to take time and do self-assessment. Get new clothes, hairstyle and learn some new things. Get a membership at a gym and start shedding those pounds of your body. More prominently, is the measure of trust and loyalty that you and your girl have for each other. Do not let your insecurities and jealousy cloud your judgment and spoil your relationship. Treat your girl with the extreme respect and start trusting her more.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/self-esteem.html http://www.articletrader.com/self-improvement/self-esteem.html Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600
Level and quality of self-esteem, though correlated, are not identical. Self-esteem can be high but fragile and low but stable. However, the quality of self-esteem can be indirectly assessed in several ways: (I) in terms of its constancy over time (stability), (II) in terms of its independence upon particular conditions being met (non-contingency), and (III) in terms of how ingrained it is at a basic psychological level (implicitness or automaticity).

The way you feel about yourself, your self-esteem or self-worth, drives your thoughts. These thoughts transform into actions, which are the key factors in getting what you want out of life. If you are not achieving your goals, take some time and assess how you feel about yourself. Achieving your goals takes repeated action and you cannot give up too early. High self-esteem can give you the drive, determination, and personal power needed to take these actions and be persistent until you achieve success.

However, if you are constantly critical of yourself, then these feelings will reduce your self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem, then it will be harder to take the right actions to enable you to achieve your goals. This relation between thoughts and actions is what keeps you from getting started or what causes you to give up. So what can you do to conquer self-doubt and strengthen your actions? It all usually starts with positive thinking. Start by spending some time congratulating yourself for what you have previously accomplished in life.

Everyone definitely has had his or her share of winning. Make a list of these accomplishments and what actions you took to make them occur. Think about the obstacles that you overcame or what special actions you took to attain each goal. This is a great way to acknowledge your successes and give your confidence a boost. Your list will be the base that you build on for your future successes. Negative thoughts are the utmost dream killer known to man! Telling yourself "I can't" will lessen your self-esteem, which will reduce the effectiveness of any actions that you take, and prevent you from achieving your goals. Your list will reassure you whenever negative thinking tries to take over your mind. Instead, of dwelling on "I can't" tell for yourself "I can". Positive thoughts bring confidence, optimism, and focused action that give you a much better chance of achieving your goals. "I can" is best way to plant seeds in your mind for positive thoughts. The resulting high self-esteem will provide the extra edge that you need to drive away your fears and eliminate any doubt that keeps you from getting the things in life you want to achieve.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/body-language.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/dating/body-language.html Mon, 26 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600
Involuntary body language quite often takes the form of facial expression, and has therefore been recommended as a means to identify the emotions of a person with whom one is communicating although they are normally not aware of it, many people send and receive non-verbal signals all the time. These signals can show what they are truly feeling. The technique of reading people is used regularly. For example, the idea of mirroring body language to put people at ease is generally used in interviews and sets the person being interviewed at ease. Mirroring the body language of someone else shows that they are understood.

However, few people use and understand body language differently, or not at all. Interpreting their gestures and facial expressions (or lack thereof) in the context of normal body language usually leads to misinterpretations and misunderstandings (especially if body language is given priority over spoken language).

Here are some basic smiles: People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, that maybe your favorite one and smile.

Attention Span / Attitude: Other people can notify what type attitude you have by your attention span and if you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem bored, disinterested, possibly even uncaring.

Attention Direction: If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you; this can be interpreted as thoughtless or rude. So be positive to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everybody is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some recommend the clockwise movement when working a group.

Arms Folded / Legs Crossed:

The folded arms or legs position can be considered as a defensive position. Therefore have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with someone and be open with open arms. If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.

Head Shaking: If people are nodding their heads while you speak, they are in conformity. If they are shaking their head sideways then difference reigns in their minds.

Knowing how to interpret body language can give you an edge in dealing with people and even understanding them. It will give a great boost to your personal as well as your official and business life. Learning to interpret body language is highly recommended for anyone who wishes to improve their life to a whole new level.

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Michael Teo is an expert on the Human Psychology and Behavior.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>