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Latest Articles by vinz http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us Doubt And Concern With Your Divorce http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/doubt-and-concern-with-your-divorce.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/doubt-and-concern-with-your-divorce.html Sun, 02 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce brings about feelings of doubt and concern at times due to the lack of control and information about what happens when children are with the other parent. There is a desire to find out about everything that takes place at the other parent's house. Many times, the curiosity extends beyond the children and into the personal life of the former spouse.

Your children are not informants and should not be questioned for information about activities or relationships of the other parent. Show an interest in the activities your children are willing to openly discuss with you without excessive questioning. Showing no interest in your children's activities while spending time with your ex-spouse sends the message that you do not approve of your children maintaining a close relationship with the other parent, which will lead to guilt and loyalty conflicts. Your opinions regarding your ex-spouse and their new mate should remain positive or neutral to allow your children to feel as if they are a part of both families. The time spent with either parent should be viewed by everyone as time that should be enjoyed. It is crucial for the children to feel that everyone is trying to love them.

The key issue here is having respect for everyone concerned. It is far better to take the high road and give your ex the advantage of the doubt. Believing that they care as much about the health, happiness, safety and welfare of your child as you do. Handle the relationship as you would a business one. If your business partner is ten minutes late or has to reschedule due to another appointment or a last minute argument it is highly unlikely that you will make a disapproving comment. Do the same with the parent of your children.

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Susan Woodard , M.S., LMFT is the author and owner of the court approved Positive Parenting Through Divorce workbook. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Clinical Director of the Atrium Counseling Center in Broward County, Florida, where she has been practicing for over 12 years.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> A Positive Divorce Experience For Your Child http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/a-positive-divorce-experience-for-your-child.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/a-positive-divorce-experience-for-your-child.html Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce seems to imply that there will be problems and struggles. Fortunately, there are some helpful qualities a child may acquire after a positive divorce experience. Focusing on the following qualities may help parents with some of the guilt associated with going through the divorce experience:

1. Learn to deal with change - Children of divorced parents often learn to adapt to changing circumstances more quickly than other children. This often reinforces a sense of inner strength and resilience.

2. Learn to express feelings - Throughout the divorce process children often have to deal with a wide range of emotions. This can facilitate a recognition of different feelings and ways to express them that are healthy.

3. Greater sense of independence - Children of divorce often become more responsible for themselves and their siblings and at an earlier age.

4. More likely to seek help - Children of divorce may have a more realistic sense of their abilities and weaknesses and may be more willing to seek assistance when needed.

Don't expect too much from your child. He won't be any better at making decisions or being responsible than he was before your divorce. He's still a child and his needs should come before yours or your ex-spouse's. If the practical side of parenting seems overwhelming, simplify your life to make more time for your child. Have easy meals, let some housekeeping chores go, cut back on outside commitments. Encourage your child to stay in touch with your ex-spouse's relatives. Continuing his relationship with grandparents and cousins will help him feel part of an extended family.

Eventually your child will begin to understand and accept his situation, especially if he sees that neither of his parents is falling apart. He'll always wish there had never been a divorce. But he may appreciate the calmness that often follows the breakup of a troubled marriage. In time, with both natural parents' love and involvement, he should adjust to his new family structure.

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Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr, is a writer and webmaster from Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class. Make use the power of your fingertips and definitely you will explore everything. Thank you and enjoy exploring the power of his mind from his articles and share your gift of knowledge to the world.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Children Need Both Parents In A Divorce http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/children-need-both-parents-in-a-divorce.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/children-need-both-parents-in-a-divorce.html Tue, 14 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce while working on a new marital and step-parenting relationship may bring thoughts that life would be simpler if their former spouse were not in the picture. Families attempt to freeze out a biological parent creating loyalty conflicts for their children. Studies indicate that children need both their parents and would suffer more when a parent is no longer a part of their lives. Step families usually work better when children are able to continue relationships with their outside parent. Children usually adjust to different households, lifestyles, values, and rules much easier than they can adjust to losing a parent.

When the relationship with the absent parent is protected, most children are better able to accept a stepparent. A stepparent can be someone in addition to a natural parent, not a replacement for that parent.

Children generally adapt to change quite well; however, the more changes they experience, the more difficulty they have coping. Prioritize what things need to change. The most critical area in which to limit change is in the children's relationships with their natural parents. A good relationship with a parent provides children with a buffer from stress. Continue to spend some time alone with each of your children. Reassure your children that they can continue their relationships with their absent parent without threat of being disloyal to you.

Maintain consistency in rules and discipline and retain as many familiar everyday routines as you can. If possible, look for a way that children can remain in the same school for at least a year and continue to see their old friends.

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Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Parenting Through Divorce Is A Responsibility http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/parenting-through-divorce-is-a-responsibility.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/parenting-through-divorce-is-a-responsibility.html Wed, 08 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce is a responsibility for biological parents regardless if they choose to remarry or not. If remarriage does take place, a parent is a parent forever and cannot be replaced. A child usually remains loyal to a biological parent and will resist an intruder who tries to take the absent parent's place. It is natural for stepparents to feel competitive with their predecessors and may attempt to act as a better spouse and parent. Children usually see their behavior as an attempt to take over and do not like to see their biological parents on the losing end of a contest. Resentment may be the result due to the fierce loyalty to the natural parent. Some children become torn with guilt and loyalty conflicts between the stepparent and biological parent. The relationship between stepparent and stepchildren works best if the space formerly shared by the absent parent and child is protected rather than filled. A stepparent needs to develop new rituals and a unique role with a stepchild without moving in on the absent parent's turf.

It is important to define the role of the stepparent to avoid confusion in children about who is in charge of them and their actions. The parent, stepparent, and child need to communicate and agree on the boundaries and rights of the stepparent. Stepparents and stepchildren need to build a relationship with each other before attempting any form of discipline. Allow the biological parent to handle discipline while the stepparent bonds with stepchildren. Most children worry that accepting the stepparent is being disloyal to the absent parent. Try not to interpret your stepchildren's resistance or behavior as negative. It is natural and to be expected for a while. When biological parents allow stepparents the role of disciplinarian, children often feel betrayed and are likely to be at odds with both stepparent and parent.
In the beginning, a stepparent may feel threatened by the co-parental relationship between biological parents. The stepparent should never be involved with an ex-spouse in an angry or abusive way. That would be detrimental to the trust children have in adult behavior. Any conflict should be settled between co-parents, not the stepparent.

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Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Dealing With Your Feelings Of Loss And Anger http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/dealing-with-your-feelings-of-loss-and-anger.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/dealing-with-your-feelings-of-loss-and-anger.html Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce and beginning a new relationship may lead to thoughts of remarriage. Remarrying before you get back on your feet is more likely to create new problems than to solve existing ones. No one can invest the energy needed to make a remarriage work if he or she is stuck on unresolved issues from the past. Unfortunately, some people spend more time in fighting with their former spouse than in building a life with their new partner. Before you consider remarriage, make sure you deal with your feelings of loss and anger. Letting go of your past relationship will help you to feel whole again so you can close the door on your marriage and get on with your life.
Remarriage is usually a time of crisis for children. It is important to talk to your children about their feelings. Most children struggle with feelings of loss. Now the parent's attention, time, and love must be shared all the time. The closer the parent-child relationship had been, the harder it usually is on the child and the more the stepparent is seen as an unwelcome intruder. Many children feel betrayed and believe they have been replaced.

Because many children never give up the fantasy of having their parents back together, remarriage awakens feelings of loss for children. Often, the hurt and anger the child feels is directed towards the new step-parent. Once again, children are powerless to influence the events in their lives. Common problems surfacing in children at the time of remarriage are fighting, withdrawal, unhappiness, poor concentration, and substance abuse. Fortunately, children's problems are generally not long term.

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Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Adjusting To Your Divorce http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/adjusting-to-your-divorce.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/adjusting-to-your-divorce.html Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Parenting through divorce presents new and changing relationships for everyone. Adjusting to the process of letting go of the concept of the two-parent family and accepting the idea of new relationships takes time. Take the time to go slow when initiating a new relationship to give children time to deal with different lifestyles and eventually the possibility of an extended family. Rushing into dating may be viewed by your child as competition for your love and attention. Old fears of abandonment may surface as the fantasy dissolves that the divorcing parents will unite. As a result of the divorce, some children lose trust in adults and are slow to accept a new adult into their life. It is important to talk to your children about their feelings and their role in the new step-family. Communication, reassurance, and time will help your child make the needed adjustment.

Before dating, give your children enough time to adjust to the idea that mom and dad will be seeing other people. Make your activities with your date a part of a group function. Starting your social life with friends the children already know may also help them get the point that you are dating. In the beginning of a new relationship, meet your dates away from home to avoid having a number of different people in your home and your child's life. Your child had lived through difficult changes and should not be asked to adjust to something else this significant unless it is necessary. Choose with care whom you let get close to your family. Before you introduce them, let your children know the nature of your relationship. Begin with a few short outings to take the pressure off forced conversation. If it looks as if the relationship will be long term, outings can gradually become longer.

It is important to reassure your children of your love for them. They are less likely to accept someone they perceive as a threat to their relationship with you. It is crucial that they know that the person is not a replacement for their absent parent.

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Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr, is a writer and webmaster from Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class. Make use the power of your fingertips and definitely you will explore everything. Thank you and enjoy exploring the power of his mind from his articles and share your gift of knowledge to the world.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/positive-parenting-through-divorce-class.html http://www.articletrader.com/home-and-family/parenting/positive-parenting-through-divorce-class.html Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500 Positive parenting through divorce class may feel more challenging during emotional stages accompanied by the transition. The pain of divorce moves through a process that is very much like what happens to us when someone we love dies. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross did extensive work with terminal patients and studied how their feelings changed from the process of initial discovery to eventual death. These stages are useful in understanding how children grieve about the loss of the family as they imagined it. The grieving process is a progression of feelings and emotional states that move by stages. Grief is a normal way children deal with loss. These stages may vary in order; may be experienced simultaneously, or may be revisited after having progressed into the next stage. The grief process is painful, difficult, and inevitable, but the end result is healing, which will ultimately lead to growth.

The initial reaction to any traumatic event is shock; an inability or unwillingness to believe what is happening. After the initial shock, Kubler-Ross identifies five stage of coping with loss:

1. Denial - Denial is a common first response children experience because they need to believe that their parents will change their minds and the divorce is not going to happen. “Mom or Dad will change their mind.” “Dad will come home next week.”

2. Anger - Children experiencing anger want to blame someone for the sadness they feel. They are often irritable, aggressive and uncooperative. “I hate Dad for leaving us.” “Mom should have cooked more and kept the house cleaner.”

3. Bargaining - In this stage, children may feel their parents will stay together if they make a deal. The bargaining stage allows the child to feel they have some control over the situation, and they try to please. In bargaining, the child can focus on hope and delay facing sadness. “If I do all my homework maybe Mom and Dad will call off the divorce.”

4. Depression - Depression involves a great sense of loss and sadness children feel when they realize that nothing will stop the divorce. Parents need to allow their children to grieve the loss and express their sadness. When a parent rushes to encourage the child to focus only on the positive, it may be a reflection of the parent’s inability to process sadness in themselves. “I can’t stop the divorce and can’t fix the situation.”

5. Acceptance - Acceptance is not characterized by happiness; it means moving beyond the feelings of loss. It begins when there is less depression, more resolution and stability, and the child accepts the divorce. Acceptance appears gradually and may take months or years to occur. Divorce is a major transition and a journey of growth. There are no absolute rules that determine how the process of healing will occur. Your children’s ability to adapt to divorce is going to depend on your ability to adapt to the divorce. The sooner you begin to heal, the sooner your children will start on their road to recovery.

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Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr, is a writer and webmaster from Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class . He is fun of making articles very useful to all of you. Make use the power of your fingertips and definitely you will explore everything. Thank you and enjoy exploring the power of his mind from his articles and share your gift of knowledge to the world.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Parenting Through and After a Divorce http://www.articletrader.com/society/divorce/parenting-through-and-after-a-divorce.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/divorce/parenting-through-and-after-a-divorce.html Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500
Parenting Through and After a Divorce helps to reassure children that the parental roles will continue. It applies to all parents whether they are married or divorced. The extent to which parents can effectively co-parent and refrain from conflict in the presence of their children greatly determines how children will adjust to the transitions associated with divorce. As most experts will agree, the continued conflict and disparaging of the other parent are the most harmful aspects of divorce and the most detrimental to children.

During a divorce it is common for emotions to surface and very tempting to get caught in historical arguments. The end result is almost always hurtful and the focus on the children's best interest is often lost. Leave the issues of your marriage in the past to avoid the pain that lead to the divorce. Find ways to discuss your feelings and receive the support needed from family, friends or health professionals to help guide you through the difficult stages. Taking the time to address your own needs will help your children. Children will feel more secure if they sense that their parents are emotionally healthy. Having healthy outlets for your own feelings will help you get through the divorce process successfully and alleviate some of the stress associated with it.

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Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr, is a writer and webmaster from Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class . He is fun of making articles very useful to all of you. Make use the power of your fingertips and definitely you will explore everything. Thank you and enjoy exploring the power of his mind from his articles and share your gift of knowledge to the world.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Outsourcing At Agents Of Value http://www.articletrader.com/business/outsourcing-at-agents-of-value.html http://www.articletrader.com/business/outsourcing-at-agents-of-value.html Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:00:00 -0500
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This shows definitely, Agents of Value is a great way to increase business profits online, recruit skilled cheap employees and boost company’s revenue.

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Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr, is writer from Agents of Value, a Webmaster Staffing Company based in the Philippines. He is fun of making articles very useful to all of you. These articles could help broaden your knowledge and understandings. Make use the power of your fingertips and definitely you will explore everything. Thank you and enjoy exploring the power of his mind from his articles.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>