http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/solving-marital-problems.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/solving-marital-problems.html Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500 Getting to the root cause of problems in a marriage can be challenging. One way of doing this is to dig into the past of each person involved, either with the help of a therapist or by yourself; to discover how past experiences helped to shape your lives today.

While all this may be good information, giving insight on why you feel the way you do; it does not necessarily bring about change.

You may tell your spouse that the issues you are experiencing are due to how you were raised, or some other situation in your past. This can lead to one of three different outcomes.
a) Your partner may or may not agree with your diagnosis
b) The blame game becomes an issue. Either you blame your partner for not being
understanding, or your partner blames you for not trying to overcome it.
c) You sit and wait for your spouse to change

So what can you do about this? Instead of putting emphasis on how the problem came about, focus on creating a solution; like Susan and Jim did.

Susan and Jim argued about finances for years. She felt as if he spent money too freely, with out giving thought of tomorrow or planning for their retirement; like his father did. Jim felt like Susan was acting like a mother telling him what to do.

One month, with a little coaching, Jim decided to pay the household bills. When he realized how much money was being spent, he was shocked. They talked about the balance of the funds that was left over after bills were paid, and decided to put it in separate accounts, setting aside some money for retirement and some for having fun. They were both pleased with the outcome.

Instead of focusing on the root of the problem of Jim being a loose spender, which he got from his dad, and Susan being motherly, they came to a solution which satisfied both parties.


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There are 5 Stages of Marriage. There are also 7 Myths about Marriage. Find out what they are by logging on to the website listed below and typing your first name and e-mail address in the sign up box to your top right, then click ‘Yes, sign me up.’

http://www.bestmarriagesecretsblog.com

For assistance in your marriage, log on to:

http://www.bestmarriagesecrets.com

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/celebrate-your-wedding-anniversary-in-style.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/celebrate-your-wedding-anniversary-in-style.html Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Wedding anniversary gifts have long been associated with certain symbols and materials. Over time some of the traditional gifts have made way for more modern items, but they still serve to highlight milestones that are generally achieved year by year. Gifts for the first few years tend to symbolise endurance, commitment and growth. First year anniversary gifts, for example, include paper and clocks. Paper is supposed to symbolise strength, like the strength that comes from the interlocking threads from which paper is made. A clock is a testament to your dedication and commitment to the road ahead. Cotton, a second year gift, stands for durability and versatility.

It's only really from the tenth year that gifts start to increase in value, which is equated with the increased worth that your marriage holds as time passes. One of the recommended gifts for a tenth year anniversary is diamonds. Diamonds feature in many anniversaries, probably because they are so precious, but also because they are impossible to break. Other ten-year gifts include tin and aluminium, to once again remind you that your marriage needs to be flexible and strong.

My grandparents were married for over 60 years, at which point diamonds and gold feature prominently. It is also at this point that diamonds stop serving as a reminder to be strong and start testifying to the constancy of your love. If you've been avoiding diamonds since your 10th anniversary, now is the time to splash out on something extravagant. A magnificent yellow diamond, the traditional 60-year anniversary gift, ought to do it.

Marriages are successful not only because of the hard work of the couple concerned, but also because the couple has the love and support of friends and family. As the years progress and you venture into the double figures, it's important to occasionally include your extended circle of loved ones in your celebrations.

Significant wedding anniversaries that should be celebrated with a proper shindig can probably be counted in decades, starting with the 10th and moving on up. On occasions such as these it's often a good idea to hire professionals to handle all of the arrangements, from the catering through to the décor and the clean up afterwards. Any number of events companies specialise in private celebrations such as wedding anniversaries. You can rely on their vast experience in the field to ensure that all of your anniversaries are as magical and as memorable as your years of marriage have been.

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Shawn Kohan writes article on many topics including anniversary rings and diamond bracelet

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/how-seperation-can-save-a-marriage.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/how-seperation-can-save-a-marriage.html Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500
There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.

Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.

Along with these options or after trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder can separation save a marriage; is it an appropriate way to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.

During the period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, think over it and then take the final decision. This separation period gives you ample time to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married life and ways to resolve them.

An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be an effective answer to the question can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep trying.

The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.

In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time-line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period.

The answer to the question ‘can separation save a marriage’ lies within the person himself/herself; you need to realize how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her.

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Also, visit here to read about: marriage problems and learn more at marriage101.org

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/advice-for-marriage-problems-3-easy-things-you-can-do.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/advice-for-marriage-problems-3-easy-things-you-can-do.html Sun, 21 Dec 2008 13:42:58 -0600 advice for marriage problems? You aren’t alone. People search the internet each day, try counseling, or talk to a friend about troubles in their relationship. The important thing is to try to fix the problems before they develop into a divorce situation.

It’s hard to know sometimes which advice for marriage problems is the right fix for your situation. There are so many people claiming to have the answers, it can be difficult at times.

A lot of the time people will be able to go a long way towards fixing the problems in their marriage simply by opening up and talking to one another. Having a heart to heart and just telling him/her how you feel and then listening to what they have to say will sometimes take care of things. Develop a plan of action together to fix the problems. Then you won’t have a need for advice for marriage problems.

Another problem couples face is a lack of time together. It’s hard sometimes to juggle ‘life’ and in the rush our mate can get left behind. To cure this make sure you schedule quality time together each week and spend some time just reconnecting with each other. If you don’t schedule this time, it won’t happen.

Another big thing you might be dealing with is financial problems. When one half of the couple controls the money and all financial decisions, it inevitably causes problems. A solution to this is to make the financial decisions together. Lack of money to pay the bills can put a huge stress on a relationship.

When you start to see signs of problems in your relationship, it is best to take action as soon as possible. Acting like there aren’t any issues and hoping they will go away is not a good answer. Seek out advice for marriage problems while they are still relatively small and easy to fix.

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Lacey Wills has been researching, counseling and writing on relationships and
their problems for many years. Visit our blog for more great info on relationships.
Ways To Save A Relationship

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/what-to-do-if-your-spouse-wont-go-to-counseling.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/what-to-do-if-your-spouse-wont-go-to-counseling.html Tue, 08 May 2007 00:00:00 -0500
I often hear this from my clients. What are they really saying with this question?

Generally, they are saying something like:

"My unhappiness is coming from my spouse's behavior," or "The problems in our marriage are my spouses' fault," or "My spouse needs to change for me to be okay."

As long as you believe any of these statements, then you will be focused on your spouse's issues rather than on your own issues. In fact, focusing on your spouse's behavior rather than on your own is a way of avoiding responsibility for your own feelings and needs.

So, if you are having marital problems or you are feeling unhappy in the marriage and your spouse won't go to counseling, then you go!

In counseling, you need to focus on your own thoughts and actions that are causing your unhappy feelings, rather on what your spouse is doing. You need to be exploring the following questions:

• How are you treating yourself that is causing you to feel unhappy?

• How are you responding to your spouse's behavior that is making you unhappy?

• Are you being reactive to your spouse's unloving behavior with your own unloving behavior, and then blaming your spouse for your reactions?

• Do you have expectations of how your spouse should be if he or she really loves you, and then you feel disappointed because your expectations are not met? Do you need to reevaluate your expectation of your spouse, which may be unrealistic?

• Are you being realistic about who your spouse is? Are you expecting your spouse to be someone he or she is not or doesn’t want to be?

• Are you making your wellbeing dependent upon your spouse?

• Are you taking responsibility for yourself, or are you abandoning yourself in some way?

These are just some of the questions you might want to explore in your therapy.

One partner making a major change in a relationship can change the entire relationship. If you learn to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and make the changes you need to make yourself happy, then you will see whether or not you have a viable relationship. You might be surprised to find that, when you are happy within yourself and no longer have your eyes on your spouse, he or she also changes. If, in response to your happiness, your spouse gets more angry or distant, you might need to consider that your spouse does not have your highest good at heart. At this point you would either need to accept things as they are, or leave the relationship.

Relationships are a system, with both partners participating in the system. When one partner changes the system, the whole system changes. For example, if you are a caretaker and your spouse is a taker, and you stop caretaking and start to take loving care of yourself, one of two things will happen. Either your spouse will be impressed with seeing you be happy, will gain more respect for you and start to take better care of himself or herself, or he or she will be angry and feel abandoned. Even if your spouse initially gets angry and feels abandoned, this does not mean that at some later time he or she won't shift and become more self-responsible. With the clients that I work with, most of the time when one partner really does take full responsibility for himself or herself, the other partner eventually stops being angry and starts to learn to take care of themselves.

When each partner in a relationship take full responsibility for their own feelings and needs, they move beyond neediness and blame, and are able to share their love with each other.






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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author
of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be
Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the
co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process.
Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her website for a FREE
Inner Bonding course: href="http://www.innerbonding.com">http://www.inner
bonding.com or email her at HREF="mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com">
margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions
available.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/roles-of-marriage-counsellors-in-the-union.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/roles-of-marriage-counsellors-in-the-union.html Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:26:21 -0600
There is a great danger in this. For a person to seek and find help, they must reach a point where they are ready to be helped. Therefore, this is a rule that is often ignored. People go to see marriage counselors for many reasons. The most obvious reasons are marriage troubles. In marriage, you will realize that you cannot make it by your own; you need an occasional slap on the head to help your see things for what they are. When couples have come to the end of the road, this is the time when most seek help. You need to be constantly on your toes to ensure that you are empowered even though you are not in the verge of breaking up. Communication is one of the leading problems when it comes to marriage. Many couples claim that their partners no longer talk or communicate to them. There are usually deep causes or roots that give rise to such problems. Marriage counselors have the duty to unearth some of these problems until they help you reach an amicable solution.

Contrary to what many think, counselors never tell people what to do. They simply state and recommend solutions which have been seen to work in other cases. Above all, they help you recognize your problem and say it for what it is. This is because they recognize the importance of confronting a problem you can identify. Not all counselors are good for you. Therefore, it is wise to take your time and be choosy. When you think that a certain professional has helped you, do not keep changing the counselors. The more they know you, the more they will understand your problem and help you solve it. Remember, seek counsel as a couple. This is the best way to ensure that you are helped effectively. At the end of the day, you are going to determine whether your problems are solved or not. In other words, you will be responsible for your solutions in marriage.

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Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest ProjectMarriage Counsellors Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Marriage Counsellors

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/continue-the-color-theme-for-your-wedding-with-your-wedding-invitations.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/continue-the-color-theme-for-your-wedding-with-your-wedding-invitations.html Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:32:53 -0600
Considering the amount of details in planning a wedding, it is important to think carefully about what colors you want to use. In the midst of finalizing the guest list, choosing a tuxedo or wedding gown and choosing a location, a color theme for the wedding must be decided upon as well. While bright or bold colors may be your first choice, they may look garish if your wedding is taking place in a small church. Washed out pastels may seem romantic, but if your wedding is outdoors in the middle of a sunny afternoon, the colors may seem to disappear. While you should definitely choose colors that you love, think of how they will look on your wedding day.

Personalize the details

Everyone expects the bridesmaids’ dresses and the flowers to reflect the color theme of your wedding, but what about the invitations? Extending the color theme to the invitations can be a subtle way to personalize the occasion. Wedding invitations are customized by font and card design. Some couples choose to add a photograph as well. Integrating the color theme of the wedding is another way to personalize your wedding.

The color theme for your wedding can be extended to the invitations in several ways. You can have the fonts and colors printed with one of your wedding colors. The cardstock can be one of the colors. If your invitations have any ribbon or other trim, such as inside the envelope, it can be the color or colors you have chosen for your theme. Due to the small size of the invitation, as opposed to flower arrangements or table decorations, it is important to consider how the colors will look together. It is easy to make the invitations look too busy or overwhelming if the colors contrast too much or they are too bold.

How much is too much?

There are some things to keep in mind when making the decision to extend your color theme to the invitations. By keeping these tips in mind, your invitations can be a great representation of you and your fiancé as a couple.

• Choose the color carefully. You want the invitation to be a beautiful expression of your love, so keep it simple. One color for fonts is usually sufficient, anything more is difficult to pull off and retain an elegant feel.

• Consider your cardstock. If one of your wedding colors is pale, such as cream, sea foam green or lavender, you may want to choose that color for your cardstock. If there are no pale colors in your wedding colors, you may want to veer away from your colors when choosing the cardstock. Choose a neutral card that will go well with your color theme. While a dark cardstock can have an impact, it is normally difficult to read invitations that were printed on darker colors.

• Ribbons and bows. Yes, they are a popular addition to invitations. Should they be the same color as your font, or another color? If you have chosen colors that coordinate well, you can have a different color ribbon and font. If you are unsure, using the same color is always a safe choice.

Many couples as themselves: Is it necessary to extend your wedding’s color theme into your wedding invitation? No, black fonts on ivory cardstock is still appropriate. If you want to extend your color theme to your invitations, however, you will not be the only bride and groom to do so. New technology, as well as the desire many of us have for personalized events, makes extending your color theme through the invitations a fun and very popular choice.

Unlike bridesmaid dresses, flowers, wedding favors and other wedding accruements, invitations are lasting memories, not only for you, but for all of your guests. For this reason alone, personalizing them with your choice of wedding colors is an excellent idea. By considering carefully how you apply each color, using the colors in moderation, and checking that the colors still allow you to easily read the invitation, you can be confident that your wedding invitation will be a keepsake for years to come.


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Arianna Jordan is a freelance writer who writes about weddings and other family events. Ms. Jordan specializes in writing about specific aspects of a weeding such as the wedding invitations.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/unreasonable-expectations.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/unreasonable-expectations.html Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 According to statistics, 50% of divorces take place in the first seven years of marriage. How can two people who proclaimed their love for each other at the altar, in front of so many witnesses, sometimes with teary eyes, fall out of love with in 7 years?

One of the major reasons for such high divorce rates is the unreasonable expectations of marriage; which leads to disappointments. When disappointment sets in, we believed that we have a flawed marriage, or have married the wrong person. With such belief, divorce is most likely imminent.

If you begin your marriage with false expectations of what it takes to make it work, no matter how long you stay together, you will have major challenges. And if you cement those ideas by saying to yourself ‘I am right and my spouse if wrong’ it only makes matters worst.

While none of us were born with a manual, much of our introduction to marriage comes from either our parents, family members or friends. No matter whose marriage you were exposed to, remember that yours is different because there are two completely different individuals involved in your marriage.

So here are two ideas to ponder:

1) Reduce or eliminate expectations for your marriage. Live today, enjoy today and work toward a better and brighter tomorrow as you grow together in your relationship. In other words, set goals and work toward them as your create the marriage you want.
2) Realize that marriages go through different phases. Just like the weather; some days its sunny, some days it cold, others overcast and rainy, while others are stormy. All marriages are confronted with changes. But when stormy days arrive, the true test of your union will be ‘how did we weather the storm.’ Those who usually stand firm during times of storms, come out at the other end with a stronger and renewed love for each other.




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Rochelle Forbes is a Marriage and Relationship Counselor. She lives in Orlando Fl. and posts articles on her blog. Find out what the 7 Myths of Marriage are, by typing in your first name and email address in the signup box to your right, at the website listed below:

http:www.bestmarriagesecretsblog.com


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/asian-girls-recognize-for-a-successful-marriage.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/asian-girls-recognize-for-a-successful-marriage.html Mon, 09 Mar 2009 06:15:46 -0500
Some of the reasons for which Asian girls are preferred

• They dress in interesting and mature manners
• They are sensible and beautiful
• They have qualities to become a faithful wife and don’t cheat men
• They look younger if compared to their real age
• Asides beautiful appearance, they also have eternal beauty
• Authenticity, integrity and respectfulness are a few uniqueness of these girls

Asian girls also can speak fluent English that attracts them towards western men. In fact, western men after dating for a while with Asian girls prefer to marry them besides of western girls. It won’t be unfair to say that they are more faithful and honest to their men in comparison to western girls. Apart from respecting elders and family members, they take care to the fullest of their husbands as well as their families.

For dating with Asian girls, you merely need to register yourself with online dating sites by filling in a safe and secure online application form. These sites are home to many Asian girls who are looking for soul mate. After getting registered yourself, you have independency to choose any type of girl you want. Moreover, you also have facilities to choose an Asian girl from a specific location.

After registering yourself with these online websites, you will come across with profiles of Asian girls.


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Sweetsingles.com offers a unique service that allows you to meet Asian girls who are seeking meaningful friendships, relationships and marriages. All of the Thai girls have gone through a detailed screening; which allows us to match her with qualified Asian girls candidates.



Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/causes-treatment-and-prevention-of-diaper-rash.html http://www.articletrader.com/society/marriage/causes-treatment-and-prevention-of-diaper-rash.html Sat, 01 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500
Why Does My Baby Have Diaper Rash?: All babies will usually get diaper rash at one point or another. If your baby has diaper rash, it is not a sign of neglect on your part. Diaper rash is normal and will occur throughout your baby's diaper years. The main causes of diaper rash are:

-sensitivity to stool

-sensitivity to specific brands of diapers or wipes

-sensitivity to laundry detergent used to wash cloth diapers

-soiled diaper not changed soon enough

-diapers that are too small

-bacterial infection

Diaper Rash Treatment: When you treat diaper rash, it is important to keep the affected area cool and dry. Do this by changing diapers as soon as they are soiled. After you have wiped the rash area clean, let the area air dry before putting on any ointment. Here are some other ways to treat diaper rash:

-blot the affected area when changing diapers, making sure to get all the stool and urine

-use a diaper rash cream

-soak your baby's bum in warm soapy water or use warm water instead of wipes

Preventing Diaper Rash: In an effort to prevent your baby from getting diaper rash often, you can:

-change wet and soiled diapers the instant they become soiled

-allow the skin to dry completely before putting on another diaper

-change brands of diapers or wipes

-use diaper rash cream regularly

-don't over tighten diapers

-change brands of detergent used to wash cloth diapers

NOTE: Use of this article requires links to be intact.

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As an experienced father (of eight), Chris Dunn enjoys writing articles relating to birth for his childbirth website.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>