http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:36:08 -0500
The trick is remembering most of it.

Dennis Bruce's book Party Thru College, Venture House Press (www.partythrucollege.com), is a humorous parody of college life. Anyone who attended, wants to attend or wishes they had attended college will find this book wildly entertaining.

Bruce's tongue-in-cheek guide to college life begins with an explanation of the "art" of screwing up.

"At first glance, the act of screwing up might seem ridiculously simple. Something any half-witted person could do," said Bruce. "However, in actuality, screwing up is a most difficult craft, one that requires years of meticulous study and strict discipline to master."

The first step, according to Bruce, is deciding if you want to be a screw-up. There is a difference between screwing up and flunking out.

"Flunking out is a short-lived phenomenon, whereas the screw-up must time-release his incompetence over the course of four or more years," said Bruce.

The idea is to stay in college as long as you can, even stretching it past the usual 4 years if you can.

The next step after choosing your school is choosing your major. Bruce provides a list of choice careers for the college screw-up.

If you screw up in:

• Food science: you can flip burgers
• Marketing: you can work at the supermarket
• Botany: you can deliver flowers
• Wildlife Management: you can be a bouncer in a college bar

Another important consideration is your curriculum. A science major affords many advantages, including the ability to screw up accidentally because of the natural difficulty of the subject matter. A non-science curriculum affords the luxury of many "mindless" classes to choose from, but also has the danger of unintentionally doing well due to the natural intelligence of the student.

There are two main philosophies to screwing up:

• Maintaining minimum passing grades
• Doing the least amount of work possible

"Screw-ups must do well enough to stay in school," said Bruce. "College should mean living a life of leisure on government-approved student loans."

Bruce gives satirical advice on such subjects as dealing with professors and how to schedule your day for maximum goofing off.

He divides faculty into several stereotypical categories:

• The ex-hippie teacher
• The foreign teaching assistant
• The ROTC recruiter
• The foreign faculty adviser
• The tenured professor

The important things to remember when choosing your schedule:

• Schedule morning classes that you can "accidentally" sleep through
• Make sure attendance is not mandatory
• Use the distance between classes as an excuse to be late or not show up at all
• Make sure the instructor grades on a curve, chances are you will come out with a passing grade no matter what

A college graduate himself, Bruce recommends several strategies for screwing up in classes such as English, Philosophy and Physical Education. These must be carefully planned out and executed.

Another important component of screwing up is lack of motivation. It is very difficult, according to Bruce, to resist the temptation to study when surrounded with the trappings of academic life.

"Inside every human being there exists enough willpower to resist the temptation to study," said Bruce. "Sometimes we all go astray. We're seized by the urge to hit the books, a temptation to browse in the library, or even a lust to go for free instructional help."

Bruce provides a list of excuses not to study, advice on what to do if you are flunking and what to do if you accidentally get a good grade. Also included is a guide to finding the "right" roommate, joining a fraternity, dressing the part, picking up college girls and even the art of vomiting.

--
Dennis Bruce is a comedian and comedic actor who has appeared on stage and TV. He holds the title of Moosehead Beer's "Funniest Comic in America." He has appeared on HBO, TV talk shows and newsmagazine programs. He is a Phi Beta Kappa scholar and an honors graduate of Penn State University.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/my-big-fat-fart-list.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/my-big-fat-fart-list.html Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:25:04 -0500
So behold The Fart List! I'm starting with the first 100 terms I found. It's here that you'll find every term for that funny act of ass rumbling: from the classic (Flatulence) to the crazy (the Mariah Carey), just let one rip and have fun reading.

Please help me build the biggest list of names for farts on Facebook! Share your comments and additions to this List on my FACEBOOK GROUP, "MY BIG FAT FART LIST."

The First 100…

1. Air biscuit
2. Anal acoustics
3. Arse cruncher
4. Ass explosions
5. Ass rumble
6. Assignation
7. Backfire
8. Balloon fart
9. Barking spider
10. Barn burner
11. Backdraft
12. Backwards burp
13. Beefer
14. Bender
15. Black cloud
16. Blanket ripper
17. Blowing dust
18. Blowing off steam
19. Blowing the trumpet
20. Booty bomb
21. Bowel howel
22. Break wind
23. Breezers
24. Brown mist
25. Brown thumper
26. Cheek flapper
27. Country cough
28. Crop dusting
29. Cut the cheese
30. Cut one
31. Dairy doozie
32. Dropping a bomb
33. Emission
34. Escapee
35. Fartknocker
36. Flame-thrower
37. Flatulence
38. Fly by
39. Foghorn
40. Green fog
41. Grumpys
42. Harley Davidsons
43. Hershey squirt
44. Honker
45. Jailbreak
46. Lay an egg
47. Let a toot then shoot
48. Let one fly
49. Let one rip
50. Lingerer
51. Loud but proud
52. Low rider
53. Machine gunners
54. Make a stink
55. Makin' rainbows
56. Mariah Carey (because her voice)
57. Matchlighter
58. Muff guff
59. Nether belch
60. Nut knocker
61. One cheek sneak
62. Paint peeler
63. Pass gas
64. Pfffft
65. Playing the butt tuba
66. Poot
67. Popcorn
68. Poppers
69. Puffer
70. Queef
71. Racing stripes
72. Rapid fire
73. Releasing the hounds
74. Rippers
75. Roar from the rear
76. Rumbler
77. Running buffalos
78. Shart
79. Shoots
80. Shooting the breeze
81. Singing elephants
82. Sporting ducks
83. Stench trail
84. Silent but deadly
85. Silent but violent
86. Skunk
87. Stink bomb
88. Stink pot
89. Stinkin' up the battleship
90. Squeeze me's
91. Tankers
92. Tear-jerker
93. Thunder from down under
94. Toot
95. Trouser cough
96. Water bubbles
97. Wet willy
98. Windmaker
99. Window rattler
100. Zipper

So whether you're loud but proud or silent but deadly, rest assured that as time (and gas) passes, more terms will be coined for the stinker in you.

--
Author Recommends to Buy Gag Gifts and Funny Pranks Ideas and also Buy Shocking Pranks Ideas and Stinky Gag Gifts.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/stinky-stevena%80%99s-guide-to-gassy-moments-and-pooping-at-work.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/stinky-stevena%80%99s-guide-to-gassy-moments-and-pooping-at-work.html Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:24:31 -0500
An old friend once gave me a copy of "Everyone Poops," by Taro Gomi. It's a great book for young kids and anyone who finds that sort of crap humorous (pun intended). While the ol' Number Two happens to everyone, there's a fine art involved with letting gas slide on the sly and doing the doo in public. So sit back and enjoy as StinksNThings.com takes a crap, er, crack at the do's and don'ts of taking care everyone's of business in a place of business.

It all starts with the fart, remember that kids. And when you feel nature's call about to rear its ugly (turtle) head, think of yourself as a Crop Duster and go for a brisk walk around the office and share the wealth (or misfortune) of all that dairy you had for breakfast. One key tip in making the fart rounds - make sure you don't bring your stink trail back to your cubicle, or you might as well may have sprayed Liquid Ass at your desk.

Once you've released your gaseous fumes but know that there's a certain Act Number Two to follow, it's time to start plotting your course of action. There's the old Fly By - scouting your nearest bathroom for occupants - or go on the hunt for Safe Havens, those rarely used bathrooms further from your desk and less likely to get you the nickname Super Pooper.

Now that you've found a stall and you're ready to release the hounds, it's time to go on tactical alert: Once you've taken a seat, anything can happen. Be prepared for the Jail Break - the machine-gun ripping farts whose surprise attack even surprised you. But worse than the Jail Break - by far more embarrassing as well - is the Watermelon. That's right, the Watermelon: a poo that is so enormous that it creates a splash loud enough to win eight Olympic gold medals. While the Watermelon can empty some water from the bowl, it pales in comparison to the Havana Omelette - yep, diarrhea that creates not one, not two, but a full series of loud splashes. The farts that often go along with the doo are just the tip of the iceberg. It's the smell that will curl your eyelashes. The stench is so bad that it's like having a seventh grade flashback to when you first learned of the potency of stink bombs when you mistakenly broke one in your pocket. The stench seems to follow you for hours. But don't worry, Stinks', and our years of public pooping, can help.

While everyone will have these unfortunate events happen at the most inopportune times, there is hope in saving your oh-so-valuable reputation: the Courtesy Flush. When the turtle's head severs, hit the flusher. Don't wait, just do it. You'll save yourself - and the Uncle Ted bathroom lingerer - from being tormented by the sad scent of last night's bar tab. And if that solution isn't subtle enough, try the Camo-Cough, your smoker's cough that covers the splash - but not the stench - of your burrito.

So just remember that while there are limited ways to concealing nature's less-than-great miracles, the only true safe way to do the doo is to do it at home.

--
Author Recommends to check out Buy Valentine's Day Practical Jokes and Pranks Ideas.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-the-ancient-art-of-magic-with-magician-brisbane.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-the-ancient-art-of-magic-with-magician-brisbane.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:52:01 -0500 Brisbane is a well renowned city in Australia that dwells in a number of reputed magicians. The Magician Brisbane enjoys esteemed name all over the world for their unusual and uncommon magical tricks. The magicians of Brisbane have revealed a number of helpful tips and tricks following which, a beginner can become a genius.

The art of magic is not difficult to learn when one is accompanied by the superb assistance of Magician Brisbane art tricks. Often a beginner fails to create a magical feeling or effect in his act that is indispensable in any magical performance. Only a magical touch can leave the spectators puzzled and amazed and bring magician a round of applause for his artistic presentation. Magician Brisbane for this reason has offered several helpful magical tricks that will help a novice to bring the magical effect in his act without putting an extra pinch of effort.

Magician Brisbane methods describe several key stages to learn that will act as a foundation for the entire act one is going to perform. A beginner can actually learn the art of magic only after learning the key stages involved. Come; let's learn the ancient art of magic with Magician Brisbane methods.

• First key stage involves a beginner to perform the magic material manually. This will help the magic to come automatically after complete refinement and the act will look polished and natural. Talking about the material to start with, you have cards and coins that are readily available. They help you to make a commendable introduction to the world of magic. You can master a number of stunning acts with their help. For example, ‘the modern magic with coin' can be performed flawlessly with the help of coins whereas you can manage to master the ‘Card College' trick by making regular and repeated manual practices with the card deck.
• Magic can never be entertaining if it is not accompanied by a captivating presentation. A magic can only be made look natural if one amplifies his natural personal strength in it. For instance, one should not forcibly try to act funny when he is not naturally funny. It will distract the audience attention to the extra effort put for making the act hilarious and will ruin the magical element completely.
• Magician Brisbane is very confident in performing their magical act that makes it look believable. Magician Brisbane suggests the beginners to be confident in whatever magical trick they are going to perform. A magician trusting himself can actually make the audience trust him and his magical wonders.


--
Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-for-wonderful-kida%80%99s-parties.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-for-wonderful-kida%80%99s-parties.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:50:51 -0500
So, if it is your son's birthday approaching and you are planning to throw a part for him then you should certainly surprise him by calling Magician Brisbane to add a flavor of magic to the party scene. A party beautified with Magician Brisbane is perhaps the best gift you can ever think of giving your kid. A Brisbane magician will spread fun and adventure that will bring precious smiles on the children's faces.

Once you have hired a Magician Brisbane, you need not to panic about making him work for the entertainment of kids. Magician Brisbane is well aware of the ways with which he can make connections with children and creates a fun filled atmosphere in the parties.

The Magician Brisbane is generally hired for the kid's parties and masters the act of performing a variety of tricks that will infuse excitement in the celebration. A Magician Brisbane uses every possible trick and method to make children smile. They very well now know about how to keep them entertained. The popular tricks include magical illusions that create comedy as well as surprise. They also carry props like animal masks, balloons, toys and use them for performing different magical tricks.

The magician starts his role right from the time when party gets started. His job is to interact with the guests and remembers their names which he make use of while playing tricks with them. The magicians have their own style of entertaining the kids like as by walking around in style, showing table magic, giving dance performances for kids using different props, making props disappear and re appear etc.

The best part about such parties is that the entire audience gets entertained and no one feels left out. Of course, the prime focus is always on your kid for whom the whole scene is set. Also, you will get a round of applause for setting such a wonderful ambience of enjoyment and entertainment to celebrate your kid's birthday.

No matter if you are throwing a big or a small party, a magician is going to create a blissful atmosphere which will be remembered for years to come.


--
Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-a%80-an-enthralling-performing-art.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-a%80-an-enthralling-performing-art.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:49:50 -0500
So if you are looking for some high quality entertainment for a special event, be it a corporate function, a gala dinner, a product launch or something more private like a wedding or your child's birthday, magician Brisbane can make the occasion a great success with their hilariously impressive and unforgettable performances.

Here are some unique features that make magician Brisbane an enthralling performing art:

• Amazing magical feats- With their original and creative sleight of hand artistry, mind illusion and thought manipulation, seasoned by stunning, sophisticated conjured delights magician Brisbane create an enchanting experience. Their visual and colourful performance is unique and creative with a great variety of acts from close-up magic shows in which the magicians mix and mingle with a small audience group treating them to their very own and intimate magical experiences to stage magic acts ideal for award nights, conferences and other special events.

• Personalised audience involvement- Magician Brisbane brings people together by interacting and mingling with the audience and sharing magical tricks intimately, right in front of the guest's eyes. Through their personalised involvement, the performance becomes highly engaging and a memorable event indeed!

• Feats for all levels and strength: With their wide variety of tailor-made performances offered to suit different age groups there is something unique and exciting to delight a small crowd of fifty people to hundreds of audiences of all ages.

Magic brings people together and is an immensely powerful medium to transform any occasion into an enchanting and extremely enjoyable experience. So go ahead with Magician Brisbane and add some excitement and style to your event!


--
Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/how-to-design-a-magic-show-and-become-a-successful-kids-magician.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/how-to-design-a-magic-show-and-become-a-successful-kids-magician.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:48:36 -0500 Let us assume that you are a good magician and have developed a good personality to use while performing the magic act for a kid's parties. In case you have not developed any character then stop and create one.

Watch a few great kids magicians and learn from them what type of character you want to create. An old second hand tux and top hat will no longer work. Kids are well-informed nowadays even little ones. Kids do not understand the cues in live a performance which are very common. Today's kids are raised in an age of television.

The starting of a kids show should do following things:
Get the audience in control. Even in school kids are taught to follow those in authority. For a few reasons many kids magicians forget to establish an authority early in their show. The result resembles uncontrollable kids.

Children need to react to clapping cues. When you welcome everybody to the show look over the viewers and say "This looks like a very big crowd, let us see how loud you can clap. On a count ONE, TWO, THREE! not bad.

In case you wish to start your career in a magic show as a children's magician then think about that seriously. Kids are honest and there is nothing hard or more satisfying than to performing a children's magic show. Being kids magicians might not be the simplest method to become a part time professional magician. However, it is a lot of fun. Children's cartoons give the best examples of the point I am trying to make. For example, take Loony Toons and Spongebob Square pants. These cartoons work great for the children and grown ups on various levels. This is what you should achieve to be a successful kid magician.


--
Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/why-do-we-laugh-at-other-people.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/why-do-we-laugh-at-other-people.html Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:06:49 -0500
The things that make us laugh are countless. Comedies, books, cartoons, comedians and all of which can tell a joke or be funny in a completely different way.

Why do we laugh at other people? Under what circumstances do we laugh at other people? Is it when they make fools of themselves or suffer from a misfortune?

I think we have all seen the infamous Afro Ninja video on YouTube. Did you laugh? Most people did. And did you laugh because of his failure from a stunt of the fact he suffered a misfortune and hurt himself? Or is it a case of amusement when people make fools of themselves? Here are a couple of good examples of people making fools of themselves and the general public enjoying and laughing at it.

First example, a few years ago during a summit in Okinawa. Then Japanese Prime Minister Mori was to greet the American President Bill Clinton. Mori had no English skills so he was taught some Basic English conversation before Okinawa summit and meeting Bill Clinton...

Mori was told "When you shake hands with President Clinton, say 'how are you'.
Then Mr. Clinton should say," I'm fine, and you?"
Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators will take over"

Now here's the part where we get to laugh at him. When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who are you?" instead of "How are you". Clinton was a surprised but still replied and did so with a sense of humor. Clintons reply was: "Well, I'm Hilary's husband,
ha-ha....". Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."

The other examples are quotes from famous people. They speak for themselves.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
- Barbara Boxer, Senator

"Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine."
- Radio news announcer

"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President

Granted these are just verbal blunders but why do we laugh when somebody takes a nasty fall or gets a bucket of paint on the head? The Germans have a word for it schadenfraude meaning to find enjoyment in the misfortune somebody else. A word we could use it in English.

But why do we laugh at other people? Because it reduces our stress.


--
Nick Jones is from Canada and currently living in Japan and has been there since early 1997. He also runs two web-pages Laugh At Other People (http://www.laughatotherpeople.com) and Dude wtf?? (http://dudewtf.org). Both are humor based.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/advantages-of-online-games.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/advantages-of-online-games.html Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:28:18 -0500
First of all, there is no need to install anything in your computer to play online flash games. That relieves you not just the hassle of paying for the software but also leaves your computer from unnecessary load. But more importantly, flash games are lighter than other role-playing games so there will be no lag in the Internet connection especially if you are using dialup.

Of course, flash games are more educational than the relatively more violent RPGs out there. So one does not just have fun in playing, one also learns while playing. Flash games are available not just on gaming websites but some are also embedded in such social networking sites as Facebook. One game I like to play over and over in Facebook is Farm Town where players try to boost the volume of their produce.

Another flash online game I like to play is embedded in Yahoo!, the Jewel Quest treasure hunt. This is a great pastime not just for kids but for adults too who may want to relieve themselves from the stress of their day-to-day jobs.

--
Free Online Flash Games - http://www.game01.info

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/tips-to-become-a-kid-magician.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/tips-to-become-a-kid-magician.html Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:15:47 -0500
However, you will make back all your money that you have spent and little more by becoming a part time professional kid magician. Looking over for places to sharpen your craft, and you remember that your niece has a seventh birthday that is coming up. You could give your services instead of a gift.

Being a kid magician is a most difficult field of magic to do it well. Here we will explore a few of the challenges while performing kid's magic.

YOU TRAIN CHILDREN.
Children do not know the common cues in live performance. Most of the kids are raised in the modern age of television. Except the laugh cue's that prompt kids when to laugh and if there are no laugh cue's kids are left wondering. Kids respond well and will get up to speed within no time. However, they require your help. The same issue is more problematic with clapping. Kids are not used to clapping, and they do not know applause cues. Those superbly timed applause cues may leave you and your viewers with uncomfortable silence.

What to do? Your most significant tasks as the kid magician is your opening and the beginning of your magician show you should:

• Establish an audience control.
• Teach the kids to response to the applause cues.
• Set a particular tone for a show.
• Introduce your personality.

Audience has to be warmed up before your magic show starts. It seems like a waste of time. However, it will make a difference between the great a kid magician and the poor one. When you step out to start your kid magician show, you have a perfect chance to establish some ground rules for your show.


--
Mike is a Kids Magician and an avid writer and who can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Magician Brisbane

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>