http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:36:08 -0500
The trick is remembering most of it.

Dennis Bruce's book Party Thru College, Venture House Press (www.partythrucollege.com), is a humorous parody of college life. Anyone who attended, wants to attend or wishes they had attended college will find this book wildly entertaining.

Bruce's tongue-in-cheek guide to college life begins with an explanation of the "art" of screwing up.

"At first glance, the act of screwing up might seem ridiculously simple. Something any half-witted person could do," said Bruce. "However, in actuality, screwing up is a most difficult craft, one that requires years of meticulous study and strict discipline to master."

The first step, according to Bruce, is deciding if you want to be a screw-up. There is a difference between screwing up and flunking out.

"Flunking out is a short-lived phenomenon, whereas the screw-up must time-release his incompetence over the course of four or more years," said Bruce.

The idea is to stay in college as long as you can, even stretching it past the usual 4 years if you can.

The next step after choosing your school is choosing your major. Bruce provides a list of choice careers for the college screw-up.

If you screw up in:

• Food science: you can flip burgers
• Marketing: you can work at the supermarket
• Botany: you can deliver flowers
• Wildlife Management: you can be a bouncer in a college bar

Another important consideration is your curriculum. A science major affords many advantages, including the ability to screw up accidentally because of the natural difficulty of the subject matter. A non-science curriculum affords the luxury of many "mindless" classes to choose from, but also has the danger of unintentionally doing well due to the natural intelligence of the student.

There are two main philosophies to screwing up:

• Maintaining minimum passing grades
• Doing the least amount of work possible

"Screw-ups must do well enough to stay in school," said Bruce. "College should mean living a life of leisure on government-approved student loans."

Bruce gives satirical advice on such subjects as dealing with professors and how to schedule your day for maximum goofing off.

He divides faculty into several stereotypical categories:

• The ex-hippie teacher
• The foreign teaching assistant
• The ROTC recruiter
• The foreign faculty adviser
• The tenured professor

The important things to remember when choosing your schedule:

• Schedule morning classes that you can "accidentally" sleep through
• Make sure attendance is not mandatory
• Use the distance between classes as an excuse to be late or not show up at all
• Make sure the instructor grades on a curve, chances are you will come out with a passing grade no matter what

A college graduate himself, Bruce recommends several strategies for screwing up in classes such as English, Philosophy and Physical Education. These must be carefully planned out and executed.

Another important component of screwing up is lack of motivation. It is very difficult, according to Bruce, to resist the temptation to study when surrounded with the trappings of academic life.

"Inside every human being there exists enough willpower to resist the temptation to study," said Bruce. "Sometimes we all go astray. We're seized by the urge to hit the books, a temptation to browse in the library, or even a lust to go for free instructional help."

Bruce provides a list of excuses not to study, advice on what to do if you are flunking and what to do if you accidentally get a good grade. Also included is a guide to finding the "right" roommate, joining a fraternity, dressing the part, picking up college girls and even the art of vomiting.

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Dennis Bruce is a comedian and comedic actor who has appeared on stage and TV. He holds the title of Moosehead Beer's "Funniest Comic in America." He has appeared on HBO, TV talk shows and newsmagazine programs. He is a Phi Beta Kappa scholar and an honors graduate of Penn State University.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-party-entertainment-for-children-brisbane.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-party-entertainment-for-children-brisbane.html Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:50:12 -0500
The birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane guardians and parents are polite not to inform you outright your party bombed, however kids an tell you real score on your face, and much to disappointment of your kid, whose advantage was one you had in your mind while you threw that party in first place so take help from birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane.

Therefore, before you choose to go to birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane, you need to spend time thinking what types of birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane and activities you may have.

Few parents, to escape hassle of coming up with the birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane ideas hire professional planners. But, this doesn't guarantee fun and when party planners are seasoned & skilled on what they do, and none of birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane efforts will work in case they do not understand what your kid who is attending are fascinated in.

Clowns are the staple birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane and are magicians & face painters. Be very careful when bringing in the characters though, as not all the kids respond very positively to the clowns and to the mascots. You may be for main disaster in case you are not very careful. For birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane music is very important and you can buy songs from any store.

You can as well make eating fun and how you will arrange your birthday party entertainment for children Brisbane fare is important to keep guests interested. In case you are working with particular theme, then you may have want to tailor food according to the theme.


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Magic Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and who can easily make children laugh.With eighteen years experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Birthday Entertainment.



Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-party-entertainment-for-children-a%80-how-to-arrange-a-birthday-party.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-party-entertainment-for-children-a%80-how-to-arrange-a-birthday-party.html Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:48:00 -0500
Choose the Theme. There is plenty of fun birthday party entertainment for children themes to select from. Base birthday party entertainment for children theme on something which your kid is passionate about.

Hire any entertainment. Good birthday party entertainment for children needs to be booked up months before so if you have birthday party entertainment for children, then book early.

Guest List. Go for the quality, and not for the quantity. Invite people that you want to, but remember that young kids must have lots of adult supervision or have birthday party entertainment for children.

Order Invitations. Sooner you get invites out, more guests you will have and parents with young kids will often have weekends scheduled out. Get invites out early or take help of birthday party entertainment for children.

Plan out your Menu. Easiest method to feed birthday party entertainment for children is the buffet style. Never bother with sit down meal and kids will not want to sit & eat. Have lots of low sugar drinks & healthy snacks as, they will be eating cake & ice cream soon.

Purchase and Make Decorations. Balloons will add color & movement - however be very careful, as balloons pose choking hazard and must not be given to the babies.

Order Food or Cake. Give yourself time to shop over and get best deal on the food and the beverages or hire birthday party entertainment for children.

RSVP. Begin checking out your guest list and birthday party entertainment for children or contacting stragglers who haven't sent RSVP yet.


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Magic Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and who can easily make children laugh.With eighteen years experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Birthday Entertainment.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/highly-rugged-mini-optical-light-source.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/highly-rugged-mini-optical-light-source.html Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:46:11 -0500 The mini optical light source, model A0630001,uses an FP-LD emitter and is light in weight,easy-to-use and cost-effective. It includes an optional loss test kit.When combined with GAO's mini optical power meter,the optical light source provides an efficient testing solution for field work in fiber optic networks.The mini light source works continuously for forty hours using three 1.5V alkaline batteries.It supports operation in both single-mode fiber and for multi-mode fibers.
Visit http://www.GAOInstruments.com for more information or to purchase this product online.
For any sales inquires please contact:
1-877 585-9555 - Toll Free (USA & Canada)
1-416 292-0038 - All Other Areas
sales@gaoinstruments.com

About GAO Instruments
GAO Instruments is a leading provider of telecom instruments testers,optical and electronic measurement instruments,and other electronic products that serve the needs of electronic professionals internationally.


--
Toronto,Canada - GAO Instruments (www.GAOInstruments.com) has launched its mini optical light source which combines high performance with durability in an extremely small-sized package.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/stinky-stevena%80%99s-guide-to-gassy-moments-and-pooping-at-work_1.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/stinky-stevena%80%99s-guide-to-gassy-moments-and-pooping-at-work_1.html Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:40:02 -0500
An old friend once gave me a copy of "Everyone Poops," by Taro Gomi. It's a great book for young kids and anyone who finds that sort of crap humorous (pun intended). While the ol' Number Two happens to everyone, there's a fine art involved with letting gas slide on the sly and doing the doo in public. So sit back and enjoy as StinksNThings.com takes a crap, er, crack at the do's and don'ts of taking care everyone's of business in a place of business.

It all starts with the fart, remember that kids. And when you feel nature's call about to rear its ugly (turtle) head, think of yourself as a Crop Duster and go for a brisk walk around the office and share the wealth (or misfortune) of all that dairy you had for breakfast. One key tip in making the fart rounds - make sure you don't bring your stink trail back to your cubicle, or you might as well may have sprayed Liquid Ass at your desk.

Once you've released your gaseous fumes but know that there's a certain Act Number Two to follow, it's time to start plotting your course of action. There's the old Fly By - scouting your nearest bathroom for occupants - or go on the hunt for Safe Havens, those rarely used bathrooms further from your desk and less likely to get you the nickname Super Pooper.

Now that you've found a stall and you're ready to release the hounds, it's time to go on tactical alert: Once you've taken a seat, anything can happen. Be prepared for the Jail Break - the machine-gun ripping farts whose surprise attack even surprised you. But worse than the Jail Break - by far more embarrassing as well - is the Watermelon. That's right, the Watermelon: a poo that is so enormous that it creates a splash loud enough to win eight Olympic gold medals. While the Watermelon can empty some water from the bowl, it pales in comparison to the Havana Omelette - yep, diarrhea that creates not one, not two, but a full series of loud splashes. The farts that often go along with the doo are just the tip of the iceberg. It's the smell that will curl your eyelashes. The stench is so bad that it's like having a seventh grade flashback to when you first learned of the potency of stink bombs when you mistakenly broke one in your pocket. The stench seems to follow you for hours. But don't worry, Stinks', and our years of public pooping, can help.

While everyone will have these unfortunate events happen at the most inopportune times, there is hope in saving your oh-so-valuable reputation: the Courtesy Flush. When the turtle's head severs, hit the flusher. Don't wait, just do it. You'll save yourself - and the Uncle Ted bathroom lingerer - from being tormented by the sad scent of last night's bar tab. And if that solution isn't subtle enough, try the Camo-Cough, your smoker's cough that covers the splash - but not the stench - of your burrito.

So just remember that while there are limited ways to concealing nature's less-than-great miracles, the only true safe way to do the doo is to do it at home.

--
Author Recommends to check out Buy Valentine's Day Practical Jokes and Pranks Ideas.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/my-big-fat-fart-list_1.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/my-big-fat-fart-list_1.html Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:39:28 -0500
So behold The Fart List! I'm starting with the first 100 terms I found. It's here that you'll find every term for that funny act of ass rumbling: from the classic (Flatulence) to the crazy (the Mariah Carey), just let one rip and have fun reading.

Please help me build the biggest list of names for farts on Facebook! Share your comments and additions to this List on my FACEBOOK GROUP, "MY BIG FAT FART LIST."

The First 100…

1. Air biscuit
2. Anal acoustics
3. Arse cruncher
4. Ass explosions
5. Ass rumble
6. Assignation
7. Backfire
8. Balloon fart
9. Barking spider
10. Barn burner
11. Backdraft
12. Backwards burp
13. Beefer
14. Bender
15. Black cloud
16. Blanket ripper
17. Blowing dust
18. Blowing off steam
19. Blowing the trumpet
20. Booty bomb
21. Bowel howel
22. Break wind
23. Breezers
24. Brown mist
25. Brown thumper
26. Cheek flapper
27. Country cough
28. Crop dusting
29. Cut the cheese
30. Cut one
31. Dairy doozie
32. Dropping a bomb
33. Emission
34. Escapee
35. Fartknocker
36. Flame-thrower
37. Flatulence
38. Fly by
39. Foghorn
40. Green fog
41. Grumpys
42. Harley Davidsons
43. Hershey squirt
44. Honker
45. Jailbreak
46. Lay an egg
47. Let a toot then shoot
48. Let one fly
49. Let one rip
50. Lingerer
51. Loud but proud
52. Low rider
53. Machine gunners
54. Make a stink
55. Makin' rainbows
56. Mariah Carey (because her voice)
57. Matchlighter
58. Muff guff
59. Nether belch
60. Nut knocker
61. One cheek sneak
62. Paint peeler
63. Pass gas
64. Pfffft
65. Playing the butt tuba
66. Poot
67. Popcorn
68. Poppers
69. Puffer
70. Queef
71. Racing stripes
72. Rapid fire
73. Releasing the hounds
74. Rippers
75. Roar from the rear
76. Rumbler
77. Running buffalos
78. Shart
79. Shoots
80. Shooting the breeze
81. Singing elephants
82. Sporting ducks
83. Stench trail
84. Silent but deadly
85. Silent but violent
86. Skunk
87. Stink bomb
88. Stink pot
89. Stinkin' up the battleship
90. Squeeze me's
91. Tankers
92. Tear-jerker
93. Thunder from down under
94. Toot
95. Trouser cough
96. Water bubbles
97. Wet willy
98. Windmaker
99. Window rattler
100. Zipper

So whether you're loud but proud or silent but deadly, rest assured that as time (and gas) passes, more terms will be coined for the stinker in you.

--
Author Recommends to Buy Gag Gifts and Funny Pranks Ideas and also Buy Shocking Pranks Ideas and Stinky Gag Gifts.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/humor-turns-e-mail-viral-00-3318.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/humor-turns-e-mail-viral-00-3318.html Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:18:03 -0500
The study generated some interesting results regarding the type of content that is most often forwarded, as well. The most popular content is humorous material.

The second most popular category is news, followed by healthcare and medical information, religious and spiritual material, games, business and personal finance information and sports/hobbies in that order. So it is easy to see that humor is the best content for your viral e-mail campaign.

Cartoons, jokes and funny video clips are among the things that can be added to an e-mail to insure that it will go viral. People will want to pass along something that makes them laugh.

They are a lot more likely to hit the forward button and send your email to their friends and relatives if it is an advertainment" rather than an advertisement.

Not along ago, about 35 million people got an e-mail containing a picture taken in Disneyland. It took a minute to see it but there was Donald Duck lying prone in front of the famous Cinderella Castle. The title of the picture was Bird Flu has hit Disneyland". It was a viral e-mail advertising Disneyland and used the edgy strategy of making light of what's serious and it works.

I'd guess that most people who own a computer have seen that picture and thus the advertisement for Disneyland. The bird flu epidemic is newsworthy and has the potential to attract an enormous amount of attention to any brand that might, for whatever reason, associate itself with it.

Remember that people are much more likely to share a joke or a funny picture than anything else so you would be well advised to include humor in your e-mail campaign.

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More Fun: funy movies

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-how-to-let-go-of-stress-with-laugher.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-how-to-let-go-of-stress-with-laugher.html Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:05:42 -0500
They say that getting a massage helps to alleviate the tension in the muscles and to decompress your mind - but dropping $200 on this may make things worse in the long run for people who can't afford it.

Rather then attempting to spend a great deal of money on things that will only help for a couple of hours or days why not acquire something more entertaining and productive. Most believe that laughter is the greatest medicine and this is quite true. Look for for funny jokes that will make your face feel weak because you are laughing or smiling too much.

There are literally hundreds of one liners, lawyer jokes, and even a few dirty jokes that will have the ability to lighten up our day if simply for a few minutes. If you are having a challenging time attempting to get them then you can always ask someone to give you what they have.

Anytime that you find a funny stupid joke and it helps you to laugh and places a smile on your face where once there was a frown then share it. You never know who can be having a tough time at this moment and who needs something to brighten up their day and to express to them that there is fun in the world.

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Learn how you can remove stress with some great Stupid Jokes. Also get your hands on some Funny Bumper Stickers.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-entertainment-a%80-leave-it-to-a-professional-magician-brisbane.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/birthday-entertainment-a%80-leave-it-to-a-professional-magician-brisbane.html Sat, 25 Jul 2009 11:34:17 -0500
Picking birthday entertainment that is appropriate for your kids age group
The party birthday entertainment that is just right for 1 to 3 year old will not be appropriate for party of 9 to 12 year old. Base decision of what type of birthday entertainment that you hire on age group of children attending your party. Kids between ages of 1 to 3 years old require birthday entertainment, which is simple to digest. Kids in this group have short attention so they will not be able to focus on the long performances. Perfect party birthday entertainment for this group will be someone who is dressed in Barney suit and other famous character in order to give out the balloons and dance with kids.

Few people mistakenly select clowns as the birthday entertainment in parties for 1 to 3 year old group, realizing it is big mistake when clown scares all the children in presence. Lots of children and some adults are also scared of the clowns due to their dramatic make up & bizarre costumes. Also it is not very good idea to hire any clowns as the birthday entertainers for the parties and catering to young kids unless your aim is making them cry. Kids from ages 4 to 8 enjoy interactive birthday entertainment, which involves lots of movement, jokes as well as activities. It is simpler to hire birthday entertainment for this group because children are very open to various birthday entertainment styles. Magicians, jugglers as well as puppeteers are all perfect birthday entertainment for this group. Kids in this group look in amazement while they see magician performing an interesting magic tricks.


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Magic Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and who can easily make children laugh.With eighteen years experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Birthday Entertainment.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/australian-kids-show-a%80-how-to-carry-forward.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/australian-kids-show-a%80-how-to-carry-forward.html Sat, 25 Jul 2009 11:31:47 -0500
Old second hand tux & top hat will no longer work in your Australian kids show. Children are very savvy nowadays. Children do not understand cues in live Australian kids show performance, which are very common. Now kids are raised in age of TV. Not very bad thing, except laugh tracks will tell kids when to laugh.

If no laugh tracks then children are all left-out in cold and they are fast and can get up to pace within no time, however they want your help to start Australian kids show.

Same problem exists with clap. Kids are not at all used to clapping when Australian kids show is going on. They do not understand applause cues and those timed applause cues can leave you & your audience with uncomfortable silence.

One of your important tasks as Australian kids show magician is opening. Beginning of your Australian kids show should do all these things:

Establish audience control and even in school kids are all taught to stay in authority. For reason, lots of Australian kids show magicians forget to put authority in their show. Result resembles saloon brawl in a wild west. In case you want to begin your career in Australian kids show magician, then think about that very seriously. Children are brutally honest and there is not anything that is tougher and more satisfying than to have great Australian kids show.

Being children magician might not be the simplest way to become part time skilled magician however it sure is lots of fun. If you want more information on the magic tricks and show you can visit on the sites online.


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Magic Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and who can easily make children laugh.With eighteen years experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Australian kids show.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>