Random Humor Articles http://www.articletrader.com/ Articles at ArticleTrader en-us Party Thru College http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/party-thru-college.html Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:36:08 -0500
The trick is remembering most of it.

Dennis Bruce's book Party Thru College, Venture House Press (www.partythrucollege.com), is a humorous parody of college life. Anyone who attended, wants to attend or wishes they had attended college will find this book wildly entertaining.

Bruce's tongue-in-cheek guide to college life begins with an explanation of the "art" of screwing up.

"At first glance, the act of screwing up might seem ridiculously simple. Something any half-witted person could do," said Bruce. "However, in actuality, screwing up is a most difficult craft, one that requires years of meticulous study and strict discipline to master."

The first step, according to Bruce, is deciding if you want to be a screw-up. There is a difference between screwing up and flunking out.

"Flunking out is a short-lived phenomenon, whereas the screw-up must time-release his incompetence over the course of four or more years," said Bruce.

The idea is to stay in college as long as you can, even stretching it past the usual 4 years if you can.

The next step after choosing your school is choosing your major. Bruce provides a list of choice careers for the college screw-up.

If you screw up in:

• Food science: you can flip burgers
• Marketing: you can work at the supermarket
• Botany: you can deliver flowers
• Wildlife Management: you can be a bouncer in a college bar

Another important consideration is your curriculum. A science major affords many advantages, including the ability to screw up accidentally because of the natural difficulty of the subject matter. A non-science curriculum affords the luxury of many "mindless" classes to choose from, but also has the danger of unintentionally doing well due to the natural intelligence of the student.

There are two main philosophies to screwing up:

• Maintaining minimum passing grades
• Doing the least amount of work possible

"Screw-ups must do well enough to stay in school," said Bruce. "College should mean living a life of leisure on government-approved student loans."

Bruce gives satirical advice on such subjects as dealing with professors and how to schedule your day for maximum goofing off.

He divides faculty into several stereotypical categories:

• The ex-hippie teacher
• The foreign teaching assistant
• The ROTC recruiter
• The foreign faculty adviser
• The tenured professor

The important things to remember when choosing your schedule:

• Schedule morning classes that you can "accidentally" sleep through
• Make sure attendance is not mandatory
• Use the distance between classes as an excuse to be late or not show up at all
• Make sure the instructor grades on a curve, chances are you will come out with a passing grade no matter what

A college graduate himself, Bruce recommends several strategies for screwing up in classes such as English, Philosophy and Physical Education. These must be carefully planned out and executed.

Another important component of screwing up is lack of motivation. It is very difficult, according to Bruce, to resist the temptation to study when surrounded with the trappings of academic life.

"Inside every human being there exists enough willpower to resist the temptation to study," said Bruce. "Sometimes we all go astray. We're seized by the urge to hit the books, a temptation to browse in the library, or even a lust to go for free instructional help."

Bruce provides a list of excuses not to study, advice on what to do if you are flunking and what to do if you accidentally get a good grade. Also included is a guide to finding the "right" roommate, joining a fraternity, dressing the part, picking up college girls and even the art of vomiting.

--
Dennis Bruce is a comedian and comedic actor who has appeared on stage and TV. He holds the title of Moosehead Beer's "Funniest Comic in America." He has appeared on HBO, TV talk shows and newsmagazine programs. He is a Phi Beta Kappa scholar and an honors graduate of Penn State University.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> The explosion in the number of porn sites on the Internet http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/the-explosion-in-the-number-of-porn-sites-on-the-internet.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/the-explosion-in-the-number-of-porn-sites-on-the-internet.html Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500
Adult entertainment sites such as Bang Bros. and Youporn, along with popular adult performers with websites like Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick, have become so well-known because of the easy proliferation of all types of content on the Internet. The Internet is not "a series of tubes," as Republican Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska once opined. Instead, it is a group of computer networks connected by fiber optics, wireless connections, copper wires and other means. On the Internet is a service called the World Wide Web, which offers a group of documents that connect to each other by means of uniform resource locators, or URLs, and hyperlinks. Other well-known services that are found on the Internet include file sharing, e-mail, remote access, collaboration, streaming media, instant messaging, Internet fax, and voice telephony.

We can thank the Russians, in a way, for the Internet. The United States wanted to regain a scientific lead over the Russians after their launch of Sputnik, and so research began which eventually led to the Internet that we know today. Its rapid growth was due in large part to the use of dial-up access using already established telephone networks worldwide. Anyone with a telephone line could hook up their modem and be online. Today many cities are switching to broadband connections for their high speed and ease of streaming popular media, although small towns are still often not included and are forced to use dial-up at slower speeds instead.

No matter how people connect to the Internet, there are a lot of us currently online: Internet World Stats reports that 1.133 billion people make use of the Internet. Businesses have taken advantage of online shoppers, who flock to webstores to purchase their wares. These businesses include companies offering porn industry info .

Streaming technology, as one of the services provided on the Internet, can take many forms and often does at adult entertainment sites. You might enjoy online RSS feeds of your favorite radio or television shows, podcasts, webcams that allow for video chat rooms, video conferencing, and even remote-control webcams all come under the generous heading of streaming media that are used at many popular websites today. The Internet also allows for the downloading of movies, both paid and free, which the adult entertainment industry has capitalized upon.

--
Ron Steigel has been working in IT since the early 1990's. He has seen a boom in internet use and industry growth and reports on how this technology has affected our public and private lives In particular he focuses on how the sheer volume of Porn industry info
and free porn information available on the internet has shaped the IT industry as a whole.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Being Halloween Naughty http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/being-halloween-naughty.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/being-halloween-naughty.html Sat, 11 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500
Even couples get into the act by using their creativity and imagination to dress up together according to a theme. The best part is that Halloween is the one time of the year that allows you to live out your fantasies, without being judged or taken too seriously. You can transition from your "proper" social behavior exhibited by day to a "heart-stopping" sexy role for this one night.

Most people want to wear a unique Halloween naughty costume, rather than being just "one of the crowd." If you are creative, you can create your own Halloween costume. Shop for sexy materials or clothing like vinyl and lace and dress the outfit up with stiletto heels or tall boots with high heels - Red and black tend to attract more attention. Just remember to include the fishnet stockings - either regular or thigh-high both work. If you are concerned about how your legs may look wearing just the fishnets, then wear your regular nylons under them. This will make your legs look more toned.

Purchasing the Right Costume
If you are not comfortable making your own, there are plenty of store-bought costumes that will really turn heads. All you have to decide is what alter ego you wish to personify on Halloween Naughty night. You can review an online catalog and select one that that matches your alter-ego. You can also add your own touch to the store-bought costume to make it even more unique and more you.

You will find Halloween naughty versions of traditional costumes. For example, if you're thinking of being an angel or a witch, you can easily make them look sexy. Since many already come with very short skirts and tops, just add the sexy make up, heels or boots and you'll look really hot! Use your imagination or ask your friends what else you can add to raise the temperature at the party a bit more.

If you decide to buy a Halloween naughty costume, you should consider the following:

    Sales are usually considered final, so carefully select your costume


  • For hygienic reasons, certain items, such as wigs, beards, mustaches, make-up, dog costumes, novelty teeth, tights, and socks are never returnable


  • Costume returns or exchanges placed between October 1st and October 30th are usually prohibited


  • If you need to exchange a costume for a different size, the original costume must be returned with the original packaging. Vendors will also expect that the costume is in good saleable shape. You will be responsible for the shipping charges.


  • Returned items must be in their original, unused condition and in their original packaging or your refund will not be honored.


  • Worn costumes cannot be returned



With sexy costumes, tighter is usually considered better. However, if it's too small you'll have to deal with exchange issues or have to buy another costume. Get one that fits because, in this case, "size does matter!"

Behaving at the Party
Even though you're dressed as Halloween Naughty for the party, think before you act! The next morning when your "proper" social behavior is exhibited once again, do you want people to remember your costume or your behavior? If there are people attending from work or people you have never met, your behavior can leave a lasting impression - make sure it's the right one.
Your best bet is to drink and act responsibly and just have a good time like any other party on Halloween naughty night.

--

V. Michael Santoro is a published author and Internet Marketer.



Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> “Imagine That…(1) - The Asian Angel of Mercy and Assassins.” http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/imagine-that-1-the-asian-angel-of-mercy-and-assassins.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/imagine-that-1-the-asian-angel-of-mercy-and-assassins.html Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.

*The following story is incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.

**Note from the Author:

When asked about my military career, I simply tell people that I was “Dumb, Stubborn, and Lucky (Dumb enough to volunteer, Stubborn enough to stay, and Lucky enough to survive).”

The “Imagine That…” series chronicles some of the more amusing experiences (that I can still remember) from over two decades of U.S. military service; most of which was in the Asian theater.

But, please keep in mind the following conversation:

Curious Man: “What did you learn from your years in the military?”
Me: “The first and last thing they teach you is to forget.”
Curious Man: “Who are they and what were you supposed to forget?”
Me: “I don’t know. I forgot.”
Curious Man: “I see. You must have been a good student.”
Me: “I’d like to think so.”

The above conversation gives a clue why some things will neither be mentioned, nor explained in some of the stories of this series.

Simply put, I forgot.

Nevertheless, I am certain you will enjoy these stories, my friend.

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo



“[Life] Amazing! Isn’t it?”

- Asian Angel of Mercy -

Assuming that I’d not heard her the first time, she repeated, “Chief, is there anything else I can do for you?”

She was a 19 year old Fil-Am (Filipina-American) who had recently graduated from Basic U.S. Navy Corpsman School. She was doing her mandatory clinical phase/rounds aboard this Navy Submarine Tender (a ship equipped with hyperbaric chamber facilities), the ship I’d been flown to almost 20 hours ago for hyperbaric treatment. I had just finished a Table VI (or V?) treatment in the “squeeze chamber” and was on the ship’s tiny medical sickbay cum ward.

The cute Corpsman had assumed correctly.

(And what a sweet ass-sumption it was! But I stray from the story. Many tangents will follow.)

I hadn’t heard a word of what she said since reporting to her ward. I was too enamored with her brown skin, almond eyes, and oh-so-slim and sexy body. Most other bodily functions were put on hold – except of course, you know what.

Us men are like that.

When I arrived at the Tender yesterday night, via emergency MEDEVAC (medical evacuation) helicopter, I was semi-conscious and clad in only my dive shorts (the Navy issued “UDT”, khaki-colored shorts worn by all U.S. military divers, Special Warfare, and Explosive Ordnance Disposal Teams) and wrapped in a couple of black wool blankets to combat the coldness of shock.

The helo crew and medical attendants were more than happy to release/dump me on the Diving doctor at the Tender. Apparently, and later verified by the official medical reports, I was so disoriented and obstinate that I tried to free myself from the gurney straps and jump out of the MEDEVAC helo… not once, but three times!

Luckily the attendants were consummate professionals; and although they couldn’t sedate me (sedation masked symptomatic alterations of consciousness and rendered further neurological checks useless), they nonetheless; “motivated” me to behave.

They did this by menacingly waving a large urethral catheter in front of my face while simultaneously snapping the bases of their surgical gloves! The meaning was instantly understood: “Chief, play nice or we’ll have to shove this rubber tube up your crank; AND/OR perform a sphincter muscle control check. BOTH WITHOUT LUBRICATION!”

Prudently, I acquiesced to these kind and caring medical professionals.

Most divers “free-balled” it.

We didn’t wear anything under our dive shorts. It was much more comfortable and practical. At least that’s what we’d rationalized as we pissed and crapped in our shorts during long dives, or scratched sand from our balls while on the beach.

Of course, we were more disciplined during cold water dives that required a wet or dry suit be worn over our dive shorts.

Fantasizing about the Filipina Corpsman, I was pitching a rather obvious tent under the bed sheets.

The Corpsman blushed as she took my vital signs.

She went about her business as professionally as possible (temperature, pulse, and blood pressure checks, I.V. drip check, neurological/circulation checks, level of consciousness checks, etc.) while still managing to steal glances, and sometimes longer looks, at my erection.

Probably projecting my wishes upon her, I could swear she looked hungry.

- Too much of a “Good Thing” -

She asked me if I was experiencing “priapism,” a medical condition characterized by an uncontrollable erection and can be caused by trauma to the spinal cord, various drugs, neurological disorders, and vascular diseases.

Prolonged priapism can be a medical emergency because the human penis was not meant to be perpetually engorged. The specialized, sensitive tissues can be permanently damaged or necrose (die). The condition is considered hazardous after three hours, critical after four hours, and a medical emergency after five or six hours (depending on the patient’s age and physical condition).

The treatment for priapism begins with mild, over-the-counter medication (e.g., pseudoephedrine). If that doesn’t work, treatment becomes more aggressive.

To make your erection go away, blood is aspirated from the corpus cavernosum (a reservoir for blood and pressure). Layman’s translation: The doctor sticks a needle in your dick and tries to deflate it by relieving the build-up of pressure. Sound fun?

Finally to the final of all options, if all else fails – AMPUTATION OF THE PENIS IS NECESSARY. Yikes!

That’s why the abuse of erectile dysfunction drugs (e.g., Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc.) can literally cost a man his own manhood!

“Unlike the mind, a penis stretched by new stimuli MUST return to its original size.”

I had only experienced priapism once in my life. It happened a few years ago after a rather nasty PLF (Parachute Landing Fall)…

…I couldn’t “John Wayne” it in (meaning: a trotting, stand-up landing) because we, my Jump Team on the stick, were jumping with old Army “Set 10” parachutes. These chutes were big, awkward to steer, and were made for average, “American-sized” men carrying full Army Infantry gear.

Everyone on my team was Asian or Hispanic and much smaller than the average American soldier. To make matters worse, we weren’t wearing any Infantry gear. That meant we were using parachutes designed for much bigger men and much heavier loads.

Why?

Although I wasn’t paid to ask why (I was paid to Do), I figured that someone, probably a Department of Defense scientist/geek working on his thesis and/or government contract, needed the data. And of course, we volunteered for the two weeks of “basket leave (free vacation)” and additional “Experimental/Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay” upon mission completion.

Besides, what could happen?

We were all well-versed in jumping. We all wore the gaudy, golden “Jump Wings” on our uniforms. The Jump Wings and shiny, silver “Dive Bubble” (the Navy SCUBA Diver pin worn above the wings) proclaimed to all that we were loony enough to be free-fall qualified and macho/horny enough to be Navy Diver certified.

And of course, in our minds, we (my team mates, fellow connoisseurs of beer, PT - physical training, women, and out-of-the ordinary adventures) were all crazy, little f*ckers – a batch of brown escapees from the local Mental Ward.

In short, multiple incarnations of Superman.

Oftentimes, hushed words were spoken from onlookers when one of us was seen in our uniforms.

I never got used to all the attention. In fact, all the hoo-hah about divers, jumpers, and shooters usually made me feel uncomfortable. When someone asked too many probing questions, I would find an excuse to quickly leave.

Perfectly happy doing my job out of the limelight, I performed my duties as professionally and quietly as possible. Yup, being “invisible” was just fine with me.

It’s always the shiny, “special” things (or people) that become targets first.

To my knowledge, there is only one photo of me in my “work clothes and green/brown make-up” in existence. It (with other documents and computer files) is in the custody of a very trusted friend; safely tucked away in an old wooden desk, in an old Asian village home, in an old and remote Asian Province. And there it will stay until enough time has passed and I don’t need “insurance” anymore.

All smart people have insurance.

‘Nuff said about that.

- Wannabes and Groupies -

Most of the other “normal, honorable, respectable” soldiers envied the lifestyle I and my men lived everyday.

To them, we were all Desperados.

It was a well-known fact that we enjoyed more p*ssy, more money, and more excitement than the usual serviceman. On top of that, we wore our uniforms less frequently and enjoyed more individual freedom on the job.

Those men who “look, want, but can’t” are affectionately called “Wannabes.”

And the women, oh the women.

There were two types of “Groupie Women.” The first type, the Thrill Seekers, got off by having sex with us “dangerous, young studs.” The other type, the Gold Digger, was looking for security (meaning, the money and security left by a deceased serviceman spouse).

If a woman thought “we were what we were,” the usual response followed: Instant Flirting. Her pupils would enlarge, she’d heave whatever chest she had, she’d fiddle with her hair, smile, and lick her lips. You could almost read her mind. She wanted to sample the athletic, wiry, six-packed, muscular bodies we all possessed.

Our hardbodies coupled with our permanent, devilish, sh*t-eating grins that seemed to make all of us look half our ages were most irresistible to the overtly (and covertly) available members of the opposite sex.

Gold Diggers are available around the globe and the U.S. was no exception. Everyone knew of the SGLI (the soldier’s life insurance) and Death Gratuity Benefits extended to the dead soldier’s family/beneficiaries.

Since people like me and my men tended to die from mysterious “Training Injuries” much more often than the normal guy riding a desk job, we were all that more attractive to the “long-range minded women.”

It’s “The Golden Rule.”

Same-same around the world, I guess. Those with the Gold/Money (or the promise of it) rule!

“Don’t mess with THEM. They’d rather kill than f*ck!,” one young sailor said to another while I was standing in line at the Base’s Mini-Mart.

On the very few occasions that I went shopping in my uniform, when I would walk toward a crowd of shoppers, the reaction was like the parting of the Red Sea.

It was weird.

If you saw me in person and in civilian clothes, you’d probably think I was someone’s meek, Asian driver or cook. But put a uniform on me, replete with those two “itty-bitty” pins, and I’m magically transformed into some mysterious, dark-hearted assassin?

Assassin?

The word assassin brings a wry smile to my face. You see, its root comes from the word “Hassassin” – meaning, followers/users of hashish.

Neat story.

Well, actually, many stories revolve around the word “assassin.”
Some references reinforce the etymology of “assassin” from “hassassin;” while others refute it, saying that:

1. The Koran and the creator of the Hassassins group staunchly opposed all intoxicating chemicals (e.g., alcohol, hashish, etc.).
2. Trained killers require disciplined training, and therefore; could not have been drug addicts.
3. Hashish in the form of a “potion” (that is, liquid form) and mentioned below in the famous “Marco Polo” accounts of the assassins and their leader is not the normal form of ingestion.

But let me include two other stories.

And they both involve killers and hashish.

The first story, popularized by Marco Polo, tells of the “Old Man of the mountain” (believed to be Hasan-i-Sabbah, leader of the Nizari Ismaili militant group) using a “potion” of hashish as a recruiting tool.

Supposedly, he drugged prospective recruits and brought them to a “Paradise” that he’d setup in a secret, secluded compound. Once there, the recruits were provided anything and everything they desired (wine, women, song, etc.). Soon after, they were drugged again and brought back before the Leader.

He [the Leader] promised them a trip to Paradise again if they served him (or died in his service). Either way, if they completed their service, they (or their souls) were guaranteed a return to Paradise.

The second story involves enemies of the Crusaders.

During the Crusades, a group of small, but deadly armies meandered through the lands to defend the populace from the Christian Marauders (Crusaders).

Their ruthlessness and efficiency with which they dealt out death became legendary. After each successful defense (killing fest), these men would then perform their routine, celebratory ritual – a party and trance induced by heavy hashish use.

They soon became known as “Hassassins.” Over time, the word changed into “assassin.”

When I was in Laos, I often wondered if the cute purveyors (and tourists/ buyers) of those innocent looking, little, dark-brown-to-black cubes knew the hashish-“assassin” word connection?

Probably not.

[Continued in “Imagine That…(2) - Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay (HDIP): Anything for a Buck?”]

Your friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com

Imagine That, Filipina, Asian, Angel, hyperbaric, Gold Jump Wings, Silver Dive Bubble, Hassassin, assassin.


Other articles by the author:

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path, articles (1) – (7).” (This is an ongoing series of articles that focus on self-improvement, success, and happiness).

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (23).” (This is another ongoing series of articles about love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, and more.)

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”

“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”

And much more!

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)


--

He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an A.A., B.S., and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life – while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he free-fall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water.

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com
http://www.ynvurcepublishing.com

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> The Horny Boss http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/the-horny-boss.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/the-horny-boss.html Sun, 22 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500
An attractive job applicant with just basic intelligence and willingness to admit that she is sexually liberated will be immediately hired with a fantastically high starting salary. The new employee will immediately be introduced to the superior officers of the company and will be wined and dined. If her performance pleases the staff, raises and promotions will quickly follow. Her perks will be free vacations, with a few of her favorite superiors as escorts. It sounds like a dream come true but it can happen to you if you qualify.

Getting a raise or promotion has nothing to do with your work performance, but has everything to do with the way you turn on your boss. A boss has worked hard to get where he is and he should be rewarded by having a sexy looking employee to make love with. If you are "sexy looking”, and kind to your boss you will climb the corporate ladder at unbelievable speed. You will have earned it, lay back and enjoy your job.

The human being has not evolved much further than an animal in heat; men are naturally horny and they go wild when they look at an attractive female. This lust has entered the work place and people in positions of power are dominated by its force. This is good news for attractive and also sexy looking women. They have an unbeatable advantage as an employee, and they don't want to lose it. Seldom do they complain about a horny boss.

Nobody is complaining about the advantages of being an attractive employee except a few homely women who wouldn't mind making love to a horny and also rich boss. There is no known way to stop horny employers from hiring attractive job applicants for the sole purpose of making love to them. This discriminatory hiring practice will continue as long as a boss is horny. melviiin1@verizon.net

--
single and retired
melviiin1@verizon.net

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Magician Brisbane for Wonderful Kid's Parties http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-for-wonderful-kida%80%99s-parties.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/magician-brisbane-for-wonderful-kida%80%99s-parties.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:50:51 -0500
So, if it is your son's birthday approaching and you are planning to throw a part for him then you should certainly surprise him by calling Magician Brisbane to add a flavor of magic to the party scene. A party beautified with Magician Brisbane is perhaps the best gift you can ever think of giving your kid. A Brisbane magician will spread fun and adventure that will bring precious smiles on the children's faces.

Once you have hired a Magician Brisbane, you need not to panic about making him work for the entertainment of kids. Magician Brisbane is well aware of the ways with which he can make connections with children and creates a fun filled atmosphere in the parties.

The Magician Brisbane is generally hired for the kid's parties and masters the act of performing a variety of tricks that will infuse excitement in the celebration. A Magician Brisbane uses every possible trick and method to make children smile. They very well now know about how to keep them entertained. The popular tricks include magical illusions that create comedy as well as surprise. They also carry props like animal masks, balloons, toys and use them for performing different magical tricks.

The magician starts his role right from the time when party gets started. His job is to interact with the guests and remembers their names which he make use of while playing tricks with them. The magicians have their own style of entertaining the kids like as by walking around in style, showing table magic, giving dance performances for kids using different props, making props disappear and re appear etc.

The best part about such parties is that the entire audience gets entertained and no one feels left out. Of course, the prime focus is always on your kid for whom the whole scene is set. Also, you will get a round of applause for setting such a wonderful ambience of enjoyment and entertainment to celebrate your kid's birthday.

No matter if you are throwing a big or a small party, a magician is going to create a blissful atmosphere which will be remembered for years to come.


--
Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Secure RFID Tag for Libraries http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/secure-rfid-tag-for-libraries.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/secure-rfid-tag-for-libraries.html Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:57:13 -0500 GAO RFID Inc.'s UHF library RFID tag (GAO116309) offers secure memory and each item in memory can be independently locked with a password to prevent overwriting. The locking structure is protected by a 32-bit password that offers a very strong level of security. Moreover, the tag delivers exceptional performance and is provided at a competitive price. It provides a read range of about 4 meters (13.1ft) and is used in applications where reusability is not required. In comparison with permanent tags, this optimized passive tag helps to reduce costs related to indirect maintenance and labor.
Visit http://www.GAORFID.com for more information.
For any sales inquires please contact:
1-877 585-9555 - Toll Free (USA & Canada)
1-416 292-0038 - All Other Areas
sales@gaorfid.com
About GAO RFID Inc.
GAO RFID Inc. is a leading provider of RFID Readers, RFID Tags and RFID software providing cost saving solutions to end users worldwide. GAO offers all RFID technologies: Low Frequency (LF), High Frequency (HF), Ultra High Frequency (UHF, Gen 2) as well as Active and Semi-Passive. GAO RFID's products and services are easily customized for use in asset tracking, healthcare, supply chain & logistics, event management, access control, livestock tracking, inventory control & management, field service maintenance and document authentication.


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Toronto, Canada - GAO RFID Inc. (www.GAORFID.com) has released its specially designed UHF (Ultra High Frequency) library RFID tag for tracking and location of books or documents. This ruggedly designed, EPC compliant transponder operates at global frequencies of 860MHz to 960MHz and is ideal for library and bookstore applications requiring both read and write capabilities.

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Learn the ancient art of Magic with Magician Brisbane http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-the-ancient-art-of-magic-with-magician-brisbane.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/learn-the-ancient-art-of-magic-with-magician-brisbane.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:52:01 -0500 Brisbane is a well renowned city in Australia that dwells in a number of reputed magicians. The Magician Brisbane enjoys esteemed name all over the world for their unusual and uncommon magical tricks. The magicians of Brisbane have revealed a number of helpful tips and tricks following which, a beginner can become a genius.

The art of magic is not difficult to learn when one is accompanied by the superb assistance of Magician Brisbane art tricks. Often a beginner fails to create a magical feeling or effect in his act that is indispensable in any magical performance. Only a magical touch can leave the spectators puzzled and amazed and bring magician a round of applause for his artistic presentation. Magician Brisbane for this reason has offered several helpful magical tricks that will help a novice to bring the magical effect in his act without putting an extra pinch of effort.

Magician Brisbane methods describe several key stages to learn that will act as a foundation for the entire act one is going to perform. A beginner can actually learn the art of magic only after learning the key stages involved. Come; let's learn the ancient art of magic with Magician Brisbane methods.

• First key stage involves a beginner to perform the magic material manually. This will help the magic to come automatically after complete refinement and the act will look polished and natural. Talking about the material to start with, you have cards and coins that are readily available. They help you to make a commendable introduction to the world of magic. You can master a number of stunning acts with their help. For example, ‘the modern magic with coin' can be performed flawlessly with the help of coins whereas you can manage to master the ‘Card College' trick by making regular and repeated manual practices with the card deck.
• Magic can never be entertaining if it is not accompanied by a captivating presentation. A magic can only be made look natural if one amplifies his natural personal strength in it. For instance, one should not forcibly try to act funny when he is not naturally funny. It will distract the audience attention to the extra effort put for making the act hilarious and will ruin the magical element completely.
• Magician Brisbane is very confident in performing their magical act that makes it look believable. Magician Brisbane suggests the beginners to be confident in whatever magical trick they are going to perform. A magician trusting himself can actually make the audience trust him and his magical wonders.


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Mike is a Magician Brisbane and an avid writer and he can easily make children laugh. With eighteen years of experience and commitment to entertaining kids of all age groups Mike has performed at hundreds of venues from Birthday Parties, Child Care Centers, Clubs, Weddings, School fetes to Shopping Centers, corporate and private functions. For more details please visit Kids Entertainment Gold Coast.


Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Face Painting http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/face-painting.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/face-painting.html Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Some of the most famous face painting designs are:

Baby Tiger, Butterfly Multi-Color, Camouflage, Cat, Cheetah, Dragon, Fantasy Alien, Flower Princess, Jewel Princess and Lion

Here are a few tips for face painting:

Tip 1: Buy and use your face judiciously. Keep them at a safe place away from toddlers and infants. Check out the tubs or sticks form for paints.

Tip 2: When you are putting a base color or coloring a large area use a sponge rather than a brush. It will be quicker and will give a good special effect.

Tip 3: Be patient and let the fresh layer of color you have applied, dry off. And be miser when applying the color layers, as thick layers will crack on drying.

Tip 4: If you are not sure enough about a design, use a stencil. This will make you more confident.

Tip 5: Visualize well about what you are going to paint in advance. It will save time and errors too.

Tip 6: Have many tissues handy while painting. Also, keep a good chair or stool for the one whose face is to be paint for stability. Keep a mirror to show the results to that person.

Tip 6: the paint you have put on the face acts like natural glue. You can dust or paste glitters on it when it is partially dry, or stick a cotton swab on the face. Dip a tissue in color and cover the swab. Then give it the finishing touch. It is ideal for bushy eyebrows or a big toon king of nose. You can use artificial jewels for a bejeweled look of a fairy or princess/prince.

So, if you are just starting with the face painting, invest some money on the kit that contains all the necessary supplies. Now, all you need to do is let your imagination run free and wait for outstanding results.


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Patrik is an online writer who rather uses the computer instead of a pencil :) Read my e-book review about Face Painting at http://facepaintingguide.com/

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]> Mr. Handyman http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/mr.-handyman.html http://www.articletrader.com/entertainment/humor/mr.-handyman.html Tue, 07 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0600
“It’ll be fixed in ten minutes,” I explain as I head down to the basement. Meanwhile, she is looking up the number of a ‘24 hour emergency plumbing service’ and entering it into the speed-dialing function of the telephone.

“Shouldn’t I call the plumber?” she asks, making it obvious that she doesn’t understand men. Of course, she has her reasons - I’ve had some bad experiences. In fact, I’ve yet to tackle a home improvement project that has actually improved the home.

But today I was feeling confident. I carefully removed every screw from the back of the washing machine only to discover that it still wouldn’t come off. So, using the largest screwdriver I could find as leverage, I applied gentle pressure until suddenly there was a god-awful screech followed by two loud snaps and the back of the washing machine flies off like a cork out of a champagne bottle and smashes against the concrete wall with a thud that shakes the house.

I hear the basement door open above me. “Should I call the plumber?”

“We don’t need a plumber, everything is going according to plan,” I assure her.

Of course, I’m not exactly sure what the plan is. The back of the washing machine is filled with enough wires and hoses to launch the space shuttle and I have absolutely no idea where to begin. So I slowly begin removing parts, looking for anything which might remotely resemble a solenoid, which is a cylindrical object which can be magnetized (I looked it up in the dictionary).

Every hour or so the basement door opens. “Should I call the plumber?”

Finally, with head held low, I humbly tell her, “It’s time to call a plumber.”

Personally, I believe I was on the verge of figuring the whole thing out, but I could tell that she was starting to get nervous. A short time later Mr. Smarty-pants Plumber arrives and views the carnage.

“What the hell happened here?” he asks in disbelief.

I tell him the only thing that pops into my head. “Vandals. We’ve been having some problems in the neighborhood.”

“Must have been a whole gang of them to have caused this much damage,” he suggests and I can only nod my head in agreement.

He continues to review the scene of destruction, occasionally muttering “Hmmm” under his breath. Somehow, I intuitively know that every “hmmm” is costing me an additional fifty dollars.

Finally, Mr. Overpriced Plumber starts putting everything back together again until, like magic, the washing machine is back in one piece and pushed against the wall.

“Exactly what were you trying to do?” Mr. Couldn’t-make-it-as-an-electrician asks as he’s calculating a bill larger than a small country’s gross national product.

I seize the opportunity to show him he’s not dealing with just any goober who walked in off the street. “The cold water pressure was weak,” I explain. “Sticky solenoid.”

“Uh huh,” he responds and reaches behind the machine and twists off a hose. He taps the nozzle against the palm of his hand until a black, gooey glob of sludge oozes out. Then, with a final twist, he reattaches the hose.

“Your filter was clogged.”


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Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’, the book that shows you how to excel in today’s chaotic and stressful workplace environment. Read the first chapter for FREE at Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC

Source: http://www.articletrader.com ]]>