Illustration- The Psychology of Relationships

The following story & questions are an illustration of some text and curriculum that can be found in a Cognitive Restructuring Manualized Workbook.

The Johnson and Miller families lived in the same area and attended the same public schools. They saw each other frequently. Scott Miller was the same age as Jason and rescued him in 6th grade when a group of older boys were beating him up.

Bloodied and semi-conscious, Jason awoke to Scott's younger sister, Jenny, with his head in her lap as she was crying and wiping his bloody face with her handkerchief. He was disappointed to see his teacher arrive as he secretly had a crush on this angel with a ponytail and deep brown eyes.

As soon as Jason got out of detention he moved to another state to work for his uncle in the construction business and lost contact with Jenny. By and by he was out on his own, buying older homes and fixing them up to resell. When he was 23, he went back to the place of his birth and discovered that the majority of his family were living in despair.

Regardless of the fact that he suffered numerous negative consequences of his childhood abuse, he had liberated himself from the heavy chains of his past. With new understanding, he forgave his mother and his father (who he barely knew). His view of others changed. He found freedom, a deeper freedom than he imagined. The world he stumbled upon sprang up from his fresh vision and there lay his destiny � a life of trials, but a life of giving and receiving love.

Because of his change of heart and improved self-esteem, Jason was able to gather enough courage to knock on Jenny's front door. It was a few days before Christmas and unbeknownst to him, Jenny was home from college. Before he was arrested and sent to detention, he was a regular visitor to the Miller home. He had saved Scott's life when he had almost drowned in a nearby swimming hole.

It had been six years since he had seen Jenny and he wasn't prepared for the gorgeous creature who answered the door. In the beginning she did not even recognize him as he stuttered and attempted to speak. But, soon the words came out, "Jenny. It's me, Jason." With a shriek, catching Jason off guard, Jenny was hugging her long lost friend.

As time passed, with correspondence and his visits to Jenny's college, their friendship developed into a deep love. In May they were married, giving to each other their lifelong love and fidelity. Making love they became one. Their life together became greater than what they could've become alone.

1. The greatest joy or anguish found in life is a result of our relationships with others T or F?

2. The true feelings you have for those around you are seen as they really are and not as you try to make them. Regardless of how vigorously you attempt to assure someone you love them they'll never believe you unless you honestly do love them. T or F?

3. Responsive people attract others because they have empathy and genuinely care for others. Who do you know like this? Explain: ___________________________________________________________

4. Resistant, in-the-box people are users and they treat others as objects not people. Are you acquainted with someone like this? Explain: ___________________________________________________________

5. Answer "T" for true or "F" for false.

__ An angry life is an empty life.

__ Closed eyes stumble when it's dark.

__ Warring minds become faint.

__ Resistant people gladly accept truth.

__ You can discover what you want most in other people.

___ Resistant people end up in the pits they dug for others.

___ The more you for yourself, the more joy you'll find.

___ When you validate someone, you are accepting the way they are and not trying to change them.

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Decades ago, Larry Lloyd founded the American Community Corrections Institute. ACCI sponsors a blog on the topic of criminal behavior and related issues.