3 Red Flags of Narcissism

1 - He's too good to be true.

In the beginning if he seems too good to be true, he probably is. There's a reason for this old adage. When you meet a narcissist, he appears to be your prince in shining armor. He sweeps you off your feet and is incredibly charming. You are in disbelief that this man possesses all the qualities you have been looking for in a mate. Listen to your gut and trust it. Don't believe everything he tells you.

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to figure out what you want in a man and then project this ideal image back to you in order to win you over. Narcissists are great actors and that is precisely what they do when courting you. They act. They know exactly who you want them to be and play the part beautifully.

Because of his superior acting skills, he leads you to believe he's your 'soul mate' and more caring and compassionate than any man you have ever met. He makes you feel as though he understands you like no man has or ever will. You're unaware of the fact that he is playing a character of his own making and emulating emotions and feelings in order to win your affections. Idealization is at its peak, and the man appears "too good to be true."

2 - He talks only about himself

You are most likely dating a narcissist if 80% of the time, the conversation revolves around him. He gives you a lengthy auto-biography about his life, including his school days as star football quarterback. Most of what he tells you is a carefully constructed lie. He pauses occasionally to ask you a question about yourself only because he senses he needs to and then quickly finds a way to revert the conversation back to himself. He often refers to himself in the third person.

You will notice a narcissist easily becomes bored in a conversation unless the spotlight is on him. He'll get a glazed over look in his eyes when others are talking, but suddenly lights up when he gets to talk or the focus returns to him.

3 - He believes he is perfect and always right

One way to recognize a narcissist is to ask him in what ways he thinks he needs to grow or change. A healthy well-adjusted person will give you a list of things they can do to improve themselves. A narcissist, on the other hand, will tell you he has nothing to change. A narcissist believes he is perfect.

A narcissist believes he is always right. Ask him about past relationships and see how he responds. If it's always the other person's fault when a relationship ends, you could be dealing with a narcissist. Healthy people can take accountability for their part in a failed relationship. A narcissist cannot. He is always right. If you question him about anything, he will respond with great hostility and perhaps even rage.

If you disagree with a narcissist, you will get a glimpse of his true colors.

Listen to Lisa E. Scott at http://AllAboutHim.com where you can follow her on her weekly radio show - All About Him - building awareness on narcissism, offering advice on spotting a narcissist, and a support group call the Vain Forum, which is a message board and blog to help women get out of their narcissistic relationships that are holding them back.