How to become confident

I get tons of mails from people who want to feel confident all the time. While i would be lying if i told you that one article can make you super confident or that i have the super duper ultimate hypnosis download that can make you super confident still i can confidently say that the tip present in this article will give your self confidence a good boost if applied correctly.

Self confidence is all about finding the right information and applying it, this wont happen overnight and that's why the process is called "building" self confidence. This article will help you on your journey to feeling confidence all the time.

Feeling Confident and being judged

After 10 years of research i discovered that one of the reasons that prevents people from feeling confident all the time is the fear of being judged negatively by others.

After all if you are obsessed about others opinion of you then most likely you will feel anxious whenever you encounter a new person who might evaluate you.

Lets suppose that a friend of yours knew you for 5 years, wont his judgment be somehow accurate?
Of course, after all he spent a lot of time with you and he knows a lot about you. Now what if Someone knew you for 10 years, wont his judgment be even more correct?

What about someone who have lived with you since you were born?
no she not your mother
nor your father

Its you!! you are the only one who knows everything about you and the only one who has full access to your thoughts, beliefs and real intentions. That's why you should consider other's judgment completely useless.

If you want to feel confident all the time then your sense of self worth should come from within instead of making it dependent on the other people you encounter.

Is it selfish to ignore the Judgment of other people?

Some people might believe that its incorrect to not listen to others or that self confidence doesn't mean that one shouldn't be selfish but have they considered the following?

The human mind was designed to fill gaps, we assume the intentions of other people when we have missing information and this leads to incorrect judgment most of the time

Our past influence the way we judge people, for example if a woman was betrayed by a man she might assume that any man who acts in a suspicious way is a cheater

We relate people's looks to their personality. If you met an arrogant person in the past then saw someone who looks like him you will assume that they both have the same personality

We believe that others are like us, if someone lies all the time he will find it hard to believe others because he will thinks that everybody is a liar
Our beliefs affects our judgment, if someone thinks that all rich people are thieves then he will think that you are a thief the moment he sees your expensive car

Lack of knowledge about psychology always results in incorrect judgment, how many of your friends know about psychology or self understanding?
Stereotyping highly affects people's judgments, anybody who has certain stereotypes defined in his brain might judge someone incorrectly
In short, most people will judge you incorrectly and if you want to feel confident all the time then you should put no weight to their judgment.

But just a second, will that make you confident?

no it wont before your own judgment of yourself become positive. This means that feeling confident all the time doesn't only require that you don't depend on others for determining your worth but it also requires that you know that you are worthy.

Build the skills that you lack, succeed in doing the things that you failed to do in the past then you will find that you are feeling more worthy. Once you trust your abilities and stop listening to others you will feel more confident.