Dog Whisperer and Me

We got cable TV in December for the first time ever. It came in a bundle with our new FIOS internet, so what could we do?

I spent a lot of time channel surfing over the holidays, and the one show that I couldn't stop watching was "The Dog Whisperer" with Cesar Millan. I had read two of his books and tried to apply some of his dog psychology toward my two miniature schnauzers, to no avail.

After watching Cesar deal with about 20 different dogs and their owners, I noticed an immediate improvement in the behavior of my dogs.

O.K. What's going on here? I was doing the same techniques that he suggested in his books, right? So, why was I getting better results after watching him?

What was happening is what I deal with in my therapy and coaching practice all the time. It's a difference between DOING and BEING.

I have a client who comes in every week with a specific problem. She wants to know HOW to handle the problem. We discuss it and brainstorm and look at all the angles, including habits and self talk from the past when she was a child. But, what she really wants is for me to give her the exact words.

"What should I say?" she asks.

When I query more about what would empower her, she demands, "But, what would you say in this instance?"

If I tell her what I would say, she takes a pencil and paper and writes it down and then practices what I just said. However, when the situation comes up again, she's lost for words. Why? Because all she took from the session were the words, how to DO something. She didn't get the other part. How to BE.

I watched Cesar walk up to a BIGGGGG dog who was out of control with his family. Cesar stood tall, put his head up, and BECAME the alpha dog. He didn't have to speak or DO anything. That BIG dog became a pussy cat around him.

Before watching Cesar, I could not get my cute LITTLE doggies to stop pulling on their leashes when out on a walk, and I tried to DO what Cesar said to do in the book. After watching Cesar, I BECAME the leader and now, they walk behind me, unless I give them permission to walk ahead.

When we make a New Year Resolution to lose the weight we want to lose, we must BECOME the healthy weight first before we DO the diet. When we want to have more success in our business, we must BE the successful business owner, because we can DO all the right things and copy what other successful people DO, but until we BECOME what a successful person is, most likely we won't be successful.

Next week I'll talk more about this in terms of our negative and painful emotions. And, I wish to thank Cesar Millan (and all the wonderful canines) for showing so clearly on his show the difference between doing and being.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tag with it: Grief and Loss Recovery Coach, Cindy Kludt (CindyKludt@thesilentloss.com), publishes "The Silent Loss" weekly ezine. If you are tired of struggling and just 'coping' with emotional pain (no matter what your loss), and are seeking relief from the sadness, anger, and despair, get your FREE report now at http://www.TheSilentLoss.com.