No Need to Hurry or Force

I had seven wonderful women at my office last week celebrating my birthday. There was almost one woman for each decade, but not quite. Not only did we celebrate my birthday, but what I wanted to celebrate was the Divine Feminine or the Goddess in every woman.

We had a great time and toward the end, I had each woman pick a card from Doreen Virtue's Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards (I am getting to the part that has to do with healing our losses).

These are beautiful cards, colorful and artistically rich. They were given to me by a good woman friend of mine who was sick and unable to make it to this celebration. I had these cards in my car and hadn't used them much. I thought it would be fun to get them out and 'for a lark' have each woman pick a card to see what the Goddess Oracle has to say to each one of us.

Well, I picked the Celtic goddess Oonagh which had a subtitle of Easy Does It; "There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. Everything is occurring in perfect timing.", which was the perfect card for me.

Slow and steady is a difficult concept when we are in emotional pain. All we really want to do is to take something that will instantly take us out of our misery, or at the very least give us some relief.

I totally get that. And even though I've come a long way in figuring out how to live more in joy than in sadness or anger, I still have my moments when that dark "icky" feeling descends on me. So, why not hurry up and force myself into happiness or joy? Or, what's wrong with taking a happy pill or drinking something that numbs you out?

Because that's exactly what it does, it numbs you out. Even when you "act as if" or "fake it til you make it" in order to feel better, it's still a form of forcing and it doesn't allow for that natural, deep, internal love process to happen.

I was reading one of my professional journals yesterday about depression and antidepressants. The entire magazine was devoted to this topic. It had some very interesting facts, but the one thing that most of the articles agreed upon was that when people take antidepressants without also getting some psychotherapy, they may feel better, but it didn't necessarily make their relationships any better, and that includes their relationship with themselves.

Healing your heart after a loss requires a commitment and a devotion toward self-love and self-forgiveness. A tenderness is required and if the healing is forced or hurried, we don't listen to the deep stirrings of compassion in our hearts and we miss some of the eternal love that is coming our way.

My goddess card, Oonagh, reminded me of this and how very difficult it is for many of us in our Western Civilization to allow things to come forth, as opposed to hurrying or forcing or taking abundant action BEFORE we are in touch with what PURPOSE that action would really serve.

As the days get shorter and shorter, and the nights lengthen I find myself doing less and sleeping more. I get unsettled at times because of this and start berating myself for laziness.

But, no need to hurry or force things. They will unfold as they will.

I invite you all to take Oonagh's message to heart and allow yourselves the stillness and time needed for whatever it is that troubles you. Give yourself that time to go deep into your heart; cry if you need, call on friends for support. There is much love here for all of us if we but slow down enough to notice and allow ourselves to feel it.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tag with it: Grief and Loss Recovery Coach, Cindy Kludt (CindyKludt@thesilentloss.com), publishes "The Silent Loss" weekly ezine. If you are tired of struggling and just 'coping' with emotional pain (no matter what your loss), and are seeking relief from the sadness, anger, and despair, get your FREE report now at http://www.TheSilentLoss.com.