Powerful Lessons in Forgiveness

Learning When to Stop
One day I was talking to my son, and I said to him, “Son, don’t do that!” I got after him and he felt bad, which in the end caused him to cry.

I thought, Oh why did I do that? So I got down on his level, and I apologized to him and went away.

Two or three weeks later I found he was doing the same thing as before, and I got after him again. I yelled and then felt bad for doing so. I found myself apologizing to him, and then I went away.

I came back, and he did it again. Once again I got after him and yelled, and with those five-year-old eyes he looked up at me and the wisdom came out. He said, “You know, Dad, if you just stopped doing bad things, you wouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness.”

It is amazing the things you can learn from children.

You just have to stop doing bad things in order to stop apologizing.

Helping Others to Let Go
If there is somebody you know who carries a burden of guilt, let them know that they have your unequivocal forgiveness and you will not force your judgments on them.

Let them see your total acceptance of them. Love them as much as you can.

I’ve found that one of the most useful things I have been able to do for some people is to become that other person for them and to apologize on behalf of the other person.

I have had some of the most amazing experiences with that.

“I will now apologize on behalf of your father, who is not here and cannot do it for himself.”

Give them the opportunity to forgive the other person who is not there.

Many people just need the right chance or opportunity to change.

This is why we make New Year’s resolutions. New Year’s seems an appropriate time to change our lives and set new goals. Sometimes all we need is for someone to point out that this would be the appropriate moment.