Social Exchanges: Five Ideas to Improve Them

There is a dance that we all perform many times each day. Sometimes we lead and other times we acquiesce and are led by another. This dance is the give and take of the many social exchanges we engage in each day. A smile, the simplest of steps, often is a “lead” that is socially followed when the smile is returned.
Social exchanges, simple or complex, can be enhanced by practice and attention to detail. Offered are five points that can help augment our social relations.

1. Time

Often taking a little extra time to ensure that your listener has correctly framed your petition or other message can make the difference between a favorable outcome and a disastrous one. The concept of taking extra time can also manifest itself by being thoughtful and remembering to say thank you and good job to those that deserve it. Time can mean listening a little longer or pausing to think before replying. Being aware of the time considerations when interacting with others is an investment that will pay off handsomely.

2. Timing

Whereas “time” answered questions of how and what, “timing” answers questions of “when.” Think about the importance of your message and the circumstances under which it will be best received. Perhaps a call during the lunch hour would be better than an early-morning delivery. Like with most things, a little prudent thought goes a long way.

3. Location

What difference would it make if we scolded people in private and praised them in public? Without changing even one word of our message we would improve the conversation’s effectiveness and positively affect long-term trust. As there is a right time for certain conversations there is also a right place.

4. Volume

What difference would it make if when we spoke about something positive we would raise our voice and then conversely lower it whenever we had something negative to say? When in a crowded public place and speaking about something personal that might affect your listener, lowering your voice to a level where only your listener can hear demonstrates that you are being sensitive to the privacy of your companion. Experts estimate that up to 93% of the message we convey has to do with non-verbal factors such as body language, word selection, diction and volume.

5. Restraint

It’s been suggested that if one has nothing good to say, than they should say nothing at all. Additionally, sometimes when thoughts are unclear in your mind the best thing to say is nothing at all. Sage advice cautions us against making important decisions when we are upset or under a great deal of stress. Showing restraint with your words and actions can sometimes be more effective than the most well crafted argument.

All the best in your social exchanges reader, may you dance as you never have before.

Alexander Michael Gittens welcomes ideas about different daily experiences to write about.