A Guide to Bondage

So What is BDSM?

BDSM" is an acronym of "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline), "D&S" (Dominance & Submission), and "S&M" (sadomasochism). "BDSM" refers to any or all of these things.

Tying up your lover is BDSM; so is whipping that person, or ordering that person around, or any of a multitude of other things. BDSM is highly erotic and usually though not always, involves sex, and is highly psychologically charged. One person, the "submissive", agrees to submit to another person, the "dominant"; or, alternately, one person agrees to receive some sort of sensation, such as spanking, from another. People automatically assume that the dominant is the one in control, however, that it not the case. The submissive sets the limits and the submissive can also stop the session at any time.

Some people like to be submissive all the time, some people like to be dominant all the time; some people like to switch, being submissive one day and dominant the next.

So who practices BDSM?

Many people practice some element of BDSM in their sexual lives without even necessarily knowing it. They may think of S&M as "That weird stuff people do with whips and Bondage Gear," yet still blindfold one another from time to time, or tie one another down and break out the chocolate body paint...

All of these things are BDSM. BDSM is not necessarily hardcore sadomasochism; it can be subtle, sensual and soft. Tying your partner to the bed and running silk or ice cubes or a feather over your lover's body is a form of BDSM.

Bondage can be divided into six main categories:

Bondage that pulls parts of the body together, like harnesses, restraints and rope. Bondage that spreads parts of the body apart, such as spreader bars. Bondage that ties the body down to another object, like chairs, beds or stocks. Bondage that suspends the body from another object, suspension bondage, such as suspension cuffs. Bondage that restricts or partly restricts normal movement, with handcuffs and restraints. Bondage that wraps the whole body or a part of it in bindings such as bondage tape and straight jackets.

So is Bondage safe?

Bondage is regarded safe when conducted between sober and trusting partners who are both fully aware of the risks involved and take the necessary precautions to ensure each others safety. Safety precautions can include the use of a safeword, that when used the act is aborted. The current international safeword is Mayday. Always have a pair of scissors handy if your partner has been bound, and never leave a bound person alone. Always change the position of a bound person every so often to avoid circulation problems. Make sure when you restrain your partner that their breathing is not restricted. Remain sober and drug free whilst taking part in any bondage act.

Above all else bondage should always have the consent of both partners, make sure you know each others limits, remember the safety points and enjoy.

Karen Jack is a popular writer, her main areas of interest are relationships, health and music. Bondage Gear http://www.bondara.co.uk