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5 Ways to Recognize and Stop Re-Current Destructive Behavior

Submitted by Coachgirl
Fri, 21 Nov 2008

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Are you dealing with the same relationship issues over and over again? Whether you’re in a relationship or attempting to start a new one, if nothing seems to be changing and you feel stuck, learn how to recognize and stop re-current destructive patterns so that you can avoid making the same mistakes again and again.

1. The names and faces have changed, but the situation feels the same.

This time his name is Pete and last time his name was Sam but he feels like the same guy.
Are you still struggling? Are the situations the same, just different time and different place?

2. You hear yourself constantly complaining about the same thing.

Are you constantly talking about lack of intimacy, for example? If so, and this is what you complained about in your last relationship, YOU need to look at this as your issue.
If you are unable to be intimate, you will continue to pick people who can’t be intimate as well. This is your issue and your struggle.
Once you are able to be intimate, you will no longer choose people who aren’t.

3. You talk to others to gain consensus for your point of view.

Getting others to agree with you is a disease of the mind.
We get momentary satisfaction (the ego gets it) when someone agrees with us. But being right is not the same as feeling right and the satisfaction is short-lived.

4. Stop making excuses for dysfunctional and abusive behavior.

Making excuses allows us to continue in these destructive patterns.
What is dysfunctional and abusive feels bad and makes us feel bad about ourselves.

5. Stop being a victim, take back your power and change your behavior.

If you enjoyed what you just read and are interested in real relationships- connections that are both intimate and authentic- take a look at Chandra’s books and CDs: http://coachgirl.com/coachgirl/books.html and sign up for Chandra's FREE daily email “Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH”: http://www.coachgirl.com/coachgirl/daily.html

In a national competition, Chandra was selected by THE OPRAH MAGAZINE as the Life Coach to deliver a series of coaching sessions to the grand prize winner of their prestigious Toyota Moving Forward contest. She also spent five years on NBC/TV “DAYTIME” giving a weekly “Reality Check”. Chandra Alexander, MSW, has been living and teaching authenticity for the last 30 years.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

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