A Penny For Your Thoughts

Sometimes it is difficult to discover how we truly feel about something and what our deepest thoughts about a situation may be. For example:
A young woman was involved in a live-in relationship with her male business partner. They were in the business of cutting down trees. This relationship has been going along real good and they seemed to have something going for them The experiment of living and working together was working as far as the young woman was concerned. This in itself was creating a problem, especially for the young woman, whom we shall call Anna.
Anna wasn't sure whether she wanted to get married or not. She wasn't sure whether she should marry the guy she was living with. She wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to marry her business partner. There were all these uncertainties. Besides, she had heard that bed-sharing relationships usually ended in divorce when the couple married.
Another problem she had related to an incident when she was a schoolgirl and a man had tried to sexually assault her on the way home. According to her, this created a degree of distrust regarding men, and at times made her feel uncomfortable when being intimate with her partner.
How often are people facing similar decisions? Shall I get married to this person? Do I really know this person? Has living with this person helped me get to know him or her better? Why do marriages break up so quickly after they get married for people who were living together and getting on so well before they got married? Will being married to my business partner work, or will we be seeing each other too much?
One of the problems for people who get married but were living together in a bed-sharing relationship is the sense of commitment changes. As a bed-sharing couple, each partner feels they can leave the relationship without any difficulty at any time; even though this is not always true. What is true: both parties in the relationship believe that they can just get up and walk out at any time because of their lack of commitment.
Anna also knew of another woman who had lived in a number of bed-sharing relationships. At the age of forty she decided it was time to get married and have a child before it was too late. So she got married, but the relationship didn't work out. So now she shares the same house with her husband but they have separate bedrooms and live separate lives, and will do so until their child leaves home.
Under the circumstances, it is not too difficult to understand how Anna is having her own concerns over whether she should get married or not to her partner. There are two important questions we need to answer for Anna. More to the point, there were two important questions Anna needed to answer for herself. Did she love the guy? Did she want to let him go?
Sometimes just discussing an issue with a person can be a waste of time. I like to get results and not go around in circles. So I asked Anna whether she loved the guy? She said she did. But she was not sure whether she wanted to marry him. I then took a penny and told her that I would toss the penny and if the penny fell heads up, she would marry the guy, and if the penny fell tails up, she would walk away from the guy. Anna agreed.
The penny fell tails up? Anna had to walk.
You see how simple things can be. By just tossing a penny we can resolve all uncertainty.
Anna really didn't want to walk, because deep down she wanted to marry the guy. So by tossing a penny we uncovered Anna's true feelings and true thoughts. Anna could not bear the thought of walking away from the man she loved and wanted to marry. Now the truth is known and the uncertainty resolved. There is nothing like a penny for finding out your real thoughts.

I am 54yrs old and married to Anna to whom I have had four children
I am into nutrition, trading the markets, and sharing what I have learnt over the years.
My philosophy of life has originated from my own experiences and observations. My main interest is developing www. happyrichesclub.com. Happy Riches can also be found at www.happyriches.name.