Detecting the Signs That You Are in an Abusive Relationship

Romantic relationships should be healthy and nurturing, equally benefiting both partners. Because it is a bond of love that unites two individuals, power struggles or dominance, let alone abuse, are matters that should never be taken lightly. Given that each partner is possessed with his/her own unique personality traits, reconciling differences and making that needed sacrifice require clear boundaries, giving each one an equal voice. However, when one partner turns out to be an abuser, the mental health and self-esteem of the victim partner are instantaneously put on the line. Abusive relationships are always disastrous no matter how people put it. To determine the indications hinting at such a relationship, read on.

When he is in the company of other people, your partner shows a different, charming face which is in exact contrast to how he is like when the two of you are alone.

If your partner shows a most charming face when in front of other people, but treats you badly when the two of you are alone, it is an obvious indication of an imbalanced, abusive relationship. Never allow yourself to be deceived into thinking that you have done something to incite him to behave as such. Majority of abusive partners would show a charming face to the world because they do not want to risk having their true colors divulged. Disparaging you and treating you badly give him that much needed sense of control and power he so desperately craves, due to an emotional or psychological need borne of his upbringing or previous traumatic experiences.

He humiliates you in front of other people.

Whether he does it in a blunt or joking manner, mentioning your faults or secrets which is not meant to be shared with others is a deliberate betrayal of your confidence. Humiliating you is an outright display of his lack or absence of respect for you as his partner and as an individual. The reason behind this is because he gets an ego-boost by doing it. Remember: when it comes to abusive partners, it is never about love or the two of you. It is all about himself. Troubled as he is, an abusive partner has personal emotional and psychological issues that incapacitate him from engaging normally and effectively in relationships.

He hardly or never manifests his love or concern for you.

Given that there are partners who are naturally undemonstrative, this does not imply that they would totally withhold their affection from the people they value. If your partner is always cold and has never done anything, no matter how small, to make you feel appreciated or valued, then chances are, he is an abusive partner. And needless to mention, you are in an abusive relationship.

You are always under pressure to do better. Thus, you go out of your way to please him, just so that he would never leave you.

Does being with him feels like you are walking on eggshells? If you cannot behave freely and show your true self in front of him because you are always afraid of irritating him or offending him, then your relationship is a most unhealthy one which would only lead to inevitable pain the longer you stay. Going out of your way to please him or accommodate his ballistic temper or erratic moods could mean that you are are needlessly sacrificing much more than you should. Hence, it is a one-sided relationship that only benefits him and him alone as you suffer miserably, unconscious of how your martyrdom and fear of losing him is eroding your self-esteem little by little.

He disregards your complaints or observations regarding your relationship.

When it comes to relationships, both partners should have an equal say in how they are going to steer it to become a loving and fruitful one. Dismissing your complaints or observations outright does not bid well with regards to how much he values you or your relationship to begin with.

You have become a bundle of nerves and suffer from anxiety attacks or bouts of depression ever since you got seriously involved with him.

Getting into an abusive relationship automatically compromises the mental health of the intended or would be victim. Dismissing the earlier signs and believing that the abusive partner would change in due time would only aggravate the hurt of the sacrificing partner, until such time that she/he crumbles and comes down with any of the aforementioned dilemmas. Reaching this point means that you have gone too fa, and the only way to go from here is to put an end to your relationship once and for all and get expert help for yourself. Needless to mention, you should not wait to reach this point before you realize that the relationship is headed for disaster right from the very start. There are only two ways to resolve an abusive relationship: dissolve it or help the abusive partner resolve his personal psychological/emotional issues by soliciting the help of experts.