Experiences from “The Flow”: From Heartbreak to Happiness.

“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”

By Carl "J.C." Pantejo, Copyright 2007

(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)

*Below is the first of a series of real life events by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: Early 2008.
It’s taken me exactly 29 days to feel semi-healed from my broken heart. The ex-girlfriend doesn’t live in my mind 24 hours a day anymore. I can work again.

I don’t feel like a wave of sadness and tears is hovering over me, just “a stutter of an inhale” away. I can even view reminders and images of her without instantly feeling like I’m riding the downside of a steep roller coaster ride.

Let me tell you about the worst/best relationship I’ve had so far. I also want to share my personal Grief Letter with all who are currently hurting from heartbreak.

- LOVE IS BLIND –

It’s true that when you love someone, you tend to overlook what others see as obvious before it’s too late.

In retrospect, I was totally oblivious to many tell-tale signs of the magnitude of my lopsided relationship. I gave everything. I received nothing. She was a young woman, not ready to settle down. I was a war-weary ex-soldier of life who desperately wanted “a real life: and a perpetual friend/lover.” She wanted to experience the excitement and seduction of nightlife, not the security of a stable home and a lifelong partner.

I wanted a woman capable of a mature, loving relationship. Most of the time, she acted like a spoiled, immature girl.

I’ve “been there, done that” and think I know what I truly want out of life. She’s still searching for her true identity; and consequently doesn’t really know what she wants. I wanted honesty. She felt the need to hide and lie to me and her friends.

I wanted to teach and take care of her. She wanted more independence WITHOUT having to work for it. Finally, I realized that at this point in her life, she is incapable of fulfilling my needs – and I, hers.

Sure I will miss so many things about her. I’ll miss her young awkwardness; her alive and sweet laughing eyes; her spontaneous and honest facial expressions; her beautiful smile, her skin, her laugh, her full lips, her hair, her naturally fit body, her childlike wonder over things I take for granted.

I’ll miss eating with her; sleeping next to her and smelling her perfume and hair; and of course, our passionate sex.

- REALITY: WHAT I WON’T MISS -

I won’t miss: her financial irresponsibility; her deceptions and lies; her lack of any sustained caring; her inability to have fun with me; her random coldness; her chronic impulsive behavior; her betrayal, her silence, her selfishness, her lack of trust and constant accusations (I guess because she fooled around on me so much); her ignorance of my feelings, her childish behavior; her low frustration threshold – no patience; her lack of self-control (I want it now!); her inability to sustain affection; her lack of concentration; her inability to make her own decisions; her lack of interest in learning things, languages, and skills; her sloppiness in the home; her shortsightedness, etc.

- GRIEF LETTER -

A Grief Letter is recommended by almost all experts to help overcome a broken heart. Although you are never supposed to mail it (which I didn’t), I’m including it here to illustrate what kind of living hell I endured.

Dear xxx,

I loved you, then you hurt me.

I trusted you, then you lied to me.

I was loyal to you, then you betrayed me.

I worked hard for you, then you did not help me.

I needed you, especially when I lost two jobs, was ill with pneumonia from overwork, and lonely; then you went away with another man.

I gave you all my money, then you wasted it, spending it on your friends and other men.

I gave you my soul when we made love, then you made sex feel like a job.

I wanted to be your best friend and make you laugh and smile, then you would leave me out of your world, having fun only with other people.

I was proud to have you in my life, then you acted like you were ashamed of me.

I had no secrets from you, then you hid everything personal from me.

I wanted to be with you for life, then you pushed me away whenever you felt yourself loving me.

I let you have my whole heart, then you just broke it and stepped on it.

I wanted you to learn a new and better life, then you just stayed in the past.

Why? I guess I’ll never know.

It’s over.

I take my heart and life back.

I do not hate you. In fact I will always love you.

But you will not be part of my world anymore.

Thank you.

Now I know more about myself, more of what I REALLY want in life and love.

Through the darkness I found the Light of My Own Self.

My experience with you (however heartbreaking) has taught me how to accept and fully love myself.

Thank you, sweetheart.

I hope you find your way. I hope you find Yourself.

Maybe you’ll realize in the future that people are more important than things.

Love,

J.C.
I’m not (or have ever been) a quitter. Just like all things in life, things are neither good, nor bad – until we put our own labels on them. While going through the outrage, tears, and depression of my last heartbreak, I could barely believe my own advice to others.

But I held on. If you are hurting, I know you can too.

This last relationship has made me stronger in so many ways. I am not bitter in the least.

In fact, I know that I’m able to love better for it.

In the next article in this series, I will give you the real life account of what happened immediately after writing the above Grief Letter.

It’s truly miraculous…

Until then, find “The Flow” and jump in!

Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo

Note: If you want to read more about overcoming heartbreak, unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com
Love, heartbreak, relationships, grief, grief letter, recovery, miraculous.