Record Numbers Looking for Love

More women than ever are looking to "Put a Ring on it," as music star, Beyonce, sang. How wonderful it would be, however, to "put a ring on it" and have the ring stay there for good, for all time.

The number of members on dating Web sites such as Match.com and eHarmony are spiraling upward, more than 35 million strong, with no end in sight. With the growing emphasis on relationships, one expert thinks he's got some answers for women looking for "the one," the one and only mate in a satisfactory relationship.

"It's been said that finding a good man is like looking for a needle in a haystack," said, author of Find a Good Man and Keep Him from Author House (www.romancecheck.com). "This is not the case. True love is all around you if you earnestly desire it. There are formal, functional approaches to true love as an alternative to the modern hit-and-miss approach that almost always ends in divorce or heartbreak." For the married woman, make the marriage a success!

Ejike holds degrees in law, social science, and the humanities. Currently a family law attorney, Ejike has combined this background with 10 years of research into what makes relationships work.

His tips for women include:

• For the single woman, don't be afraid of the Internet when traditional approaches fails - Use online dating facilities to reach your goal. Online dating sites offer on-demand matching services that are quite engaging, resourceful, and convenient. For online courtship you do not have to dress up or specially prepare for a meeting with an admirer or a suitor. It is a powerful vehicle that has revolutionized communication and courtship. Many women have come to the conclusion that online dating is a waste because "there are so many losers out there." The fact is, the "loser" factor can be mitigated by making sure you are on a site that fits your purpose, Write a profile that accurately describes what you want in a man, and wisely navigate the waters of courtship and romance.

• Choose your dating site wisely - It is essential that you find and subscribe to a suitable dating service. Join a dating community that efficiently meets your expectations in terms of choices and delivery, a site that responds to your preferences and gives you a full scope of choices. Second, a site with the costliest subscription rate is not necessarily the best suited to your need. A site's subscription price does not guarantee success or satisfaction in delivery. Find a site that saves time and delivers satisfactory results in terms of your options and preferences. There are tailored sites for ethnic groups, interracial singles, divorced parents, millionaire groups, full-figured women, and so on.

• Use the "chat" to your benefit - The chat process makes for faster-than-email interaction and dialogue. The chat process could be time-consuming, but it is an effective conversational mechanism that asks questions and seeks answers without eyeballed discomforts. Because the chat facilitates exploratory dialogue in real time, the questions you get and the answers you give instantaneously let you know if you have a viable reason to continue the exchange. Carefully beware, however, of what personal information you disclose in a chat or chat room. A digital transcript of your chat stays alive even after you have logged off or unsubscribed to the service.

• For the married or single woman, recognize and keep a good man when you have him - The grass is not always greener on the other side. Understand and appreciate your man, focusing on his positive attributes rather than his seeming flaws. Your best friend always is your best mate. Learn how to manage and contain crisis situations when they arise in your relationship. Love's fulfillment is in finding joy and happiness. Fall in love and stay in love. In other words, "put a ring on it and keep the ring there."

Rachel Friedman is a staff writer for News & Experts.