Speed Dating: Post Event Etiquette

Speed Dating is without doubt an unbeatable opportunity to have fun, expand your social circle and maybe even meet a potential partner.

So if you’re thinking of participating in a speed dating event or you’ve already been to one, you’re probably full of questions about post speed dating etiquette. Should you follow the usual dating rules … can’t look too keen, wait at least 3 days to call, don’t be too available … Who approaches whom? What do you say? Where do you go? How long should you wait to contact someone?

Let’s wind back a little. You’ve been to a speed dating session and met a certain hottie, or maybe even hotties... Then you wait to find out who liked you too. To your delight most of the people that you selected liked you too! The next day you walk around the office in euphoria with a silly grin on your face. Your colleagues probably think that something’s up, but they don’t know just how lucky you got last night!

But what next? There are no hard and fast rules as to who contacts who. The reality is you both know that you like each other so the main factor that puts people off making the first move, namely “rejection”, is out the window.

The best advice is to make the contact sooner rather than later. You may as well strike while the iron's hot, and more importantly whilst you remember which of your speed dates you are contacting!

So you’ve made the call, and to your relief you both have a little laugh about how much fun you had at the speed dating event, you chat about how your week has been and you decide that you quite like the person’s company. From this point you should treat the situation as you would any other where you meet someone you like. Arrange to meet for a drink, for dinner or the double whammy dinner & movie date. Treat it as a normal date, there’s no need to pack your toothbrush, razor or spare knickers!

But what if you wake up the next morning and get jittery about who you’ve selected? You’re just not 100% sure about them. What should you do if you change your mind? It happens to the best of us. It’s pretty normal not to be sure about someone before a first date, isn’t that the whole point of dating – to cull through the numbers in search of that special someone? Remember, selecting someone at a speed dating singles event does not mean that wedding bells will be ringing. Speed dating is about expanding your social circle.

If you’re not sure about someone, why not organize to meet for a fixed time period such as lunch during a busy workweek or a drink after work (where you have plans afterwards, or concoct some!). If during this first date you decide you really don’t want to see the person again and want to make this message clear, you could go for “Got to get home to my triplets, they’re all teething!” That ought to do the trick. Or for the boys “Mum’s expecting me home for dinner. Love living with my mum, why would anyone ever move?”

What if you are attempting to make contact and no joy; despite refreshing your email or checking your phone a zillion times there’s no flirty response awaiting. It’s safe to say if you don’t receive a response after 2 attempts it’s time to head back to the drawing board, and sign up for your next speed dating event. After all, it’s a numbers game!

Justin Parfitt is the CEO and Founder of FastLife International, the world's largest speed dating and singles events service. Hosting speed dating events in 43 cities in 5 countries, including Speed Dating in Toronto