Speed Dating Tips for Men: What to say (…and what not to say) to your dates!

Guys, avoid sticking your foot in your mouth when you go speed dating and learn from the speed dating experts about what women really want to hear. Girls, if you’ve a male friend who could do with a little lesson in the dating department, direct his eyes towards this article!

Justin Parfitt, founder of FastLife Speed Dating & Singles Events, reveals all… Enjoy and learn your lesson before it’s too late!

Four things she’d love to hear on your speed date…

1) “You look great!”
You’re better off being conservative with your adjectives here. Women want to know that you’ve noticed they look nice but telling her she looks “amazing” and “gorgeous” might be a bit much at the beginning of your date. No need to be too specific; just let her know you’ve noticed that she looks good.

2) “What do you like to do outside of work?”
This may seem innocuous, but it shows you care and are interested in her life. By asking about a person’s occupation instead, you could bring out suspicions of checking for “wallet-padding.” It’s also possible that she’s not in love with her job so asking about it could make her uncomfortable or even put her into a bad mood. Asking her what her passions are outside of the workplace will give you a better idea of her personality, rather than her resume. Make sure to really listen to her response and ask open-ended questions to show you’re interested in what she’s saying.

3) “I’ve had a really great time with you.”
At the end of your speed-date, let her know you enjoyed meeting her and that you had a nice conversation. You’ll get feedback on how she’s feeling. Hopefully she’ll beam back and say “Me too!” and you’ll be a match the next day.

4) “What do you think about such-and-such topic?”
Guys, you’re great at telling the ladies what you think, but you can be a bit stingy about seeking out their opinion. Ask your date for her view and she’ll be flattered—and stimulating discourse is bound to ensue. Naturally, steer clear of obscure subjects and only bring up hot-button issues like politics.

...And four things she’d hate to hear...

1) “You’ve really got a great body. Do you work out or something?”
Dude, please. This is way too objectifying and will make her uncomfortable. Avoid mention of any particular body part or anything lingerie or swimsuit related.

2) “Oh, I know all about that!”
If you do know all about it, by all means have a real conversation about that topic. But if you don’t really know about the topic, stop right there! Women like intelligent, informed, worldly men, but they also appreciate humility. When you put on your “superior face,” you’re so not sexy. If she wanted a know-it-all, she’d spend her evening with Wikipedia.

3) “So I’ve been shopping for a new BMW…”
Such a transparent attempt to impress her will have the reverse effect—unless you hear “cha-chiiing” and dollar signs appear in her eyes. So bag those “I’m a big man” comments about your stuff, your status and your salary.

4) “You look/act/talk just like my ex-girlfriend/ex-wife/mother.”
Women don’t really want to be compared to any other woman. They’d rather make their own impression on you rather than remind you of someone you have such a history with, especially if it’s not a good history. Oh and your mother is a lot older than your date so she definitely won’t appreciate that!

Justin Parfitt is the founder and CEO of FastLife International, the world's largest speed dating and singles events service. Hosting events in 43 cities in 5 countries, including 4 Speed Dating singles events each week in Toronto and 3 Speed Dating singles events a week in New York