Whether you are ready to Step into the Cupid Circle

You feel you are ready to rub shoulders with love and ready to jump start a dating relationship. Once you think of your age you are convinced its now time or never. You are more than ready in terms of age and since your steps in the domain of your career choice seems to be heading into heavens, you have an inkling that time is nigh. Checking out the profile of your trusted friends shows that you are the only bachelor within the circle; many now have women to go home to or have strong and stable relationships. A solitary life has made you weary and now its time to delve into the dimensions of intimacy and the rollercoaster of a dating relationship. Welcome aboard!

But don't start the celebrations so soon. Readiness to start a relationship means exactly that, no symbolism or understatements within. But if the above is the song of your life, just rest assured that you are more than ready and capable to handle any commitment as well as any challenge that characterizes a healthy, sumptuous and intimate relationship.

The bottom line is to have ways of ascertaining your readiness, to have traits that show clearly that you are hot property for the acquisition of a sweetheart. There are vital areas which you require to be aware of and judge for yourself whether you are ripe enough.

First and foremost, before entering this new domain of dating relationship, you have to take serious inventories of your past traumas as well as related events that had afflicted you. These you should review mentally, honestly looking at the way you addressed the recurring issues amidst resolving them. Always ask yourself whether these traumas did in anyway impact negatively on your personality and present life.

After searching within yourself and your conclusion is that the issues have not been adequately settled, it's a high time serious work began on their settlement. Try to closely examine them. You can also consider the use of therapy or even wiser, a closer support group. You don't want to bring into your dating relationship issues such as emotional, sexual (abuse), physical, parent's divorce, dysfunctional intimate relationships as well as an abusive relationship in the past.

Secondly, weigh your self esteem and self awareness. Lack of enough self knowledge plus a good feeling about yourself will lead you into having a difficult relationship that will prove very hard to maintain. It is quite easy to respond to this problem. Try to think about:

Whether you are able to state those values you hold dear, if you can live with a dating relationship or marriage, whether you have a strong grasp of the goals you have set in life and if you can state clearly all that you consider as your weaknesses and strengths. Also, you can explore your self-esteem by rating how you perceive yourself and thinking of how other people see you. Always remember that you are always projecting distinct selves when you are with your family, at work, with acquaintances, friends and even in social gatherings.

Once you have cross checked yourself through all these, you can then decide to venture into a loving relationship or wait. Basically, the choice lies intuitively within you.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Researcher And A Writer on Life and Society Issues. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating Relationship