Behaviour that Ruins a Marriage – I

However, when people fail to understand this concept, marital problems begin to arise.

These marital problems can lead to misunderstandings, bitter arguments, and ultimately divorce. We will analyse some of these behaviours in detail to provide you with a better understanding of how such behaviour can affect your partner.

ing Selfish Demands

Prior to marriage, everyone leads an independent lifestyle. Personal demands reign supreme at all times. However, marriage changes all of that. Most of the time, you will have to put the needs of your partner before your own needs. Similarly, your partner should also practise the same behaviour. However, when one partner discards the needs of his or her spouse and cannot think beyond his or her personal needs, the situation can get quite ugly.

Some people tend to demand a lot of their partners but fail to meet even the most basic demands of their partner. For such people, their own needs come first. However, even after these needs have been fulfilled the subject of interest is fulfilling their next personal need rather than taking care of their partner’s needs. This behaviour is likely to cause a lot of hurt and pain to your partner.

People want to be loved and feel important in a marriage. However, constantly making selfish demands and not understanding your partner’s requirements can make him or her feel thoroughly neglected. While your partner may endure this behaviour once or twice, repeatedly subjecting your partner to such behaviour can cause a rift between you and your spouse.

There are some people who are so self-absorbed that even when it comes to family’s resources, they want a major chunk of it to fulfil their own needs. For example, a selfish husband may want to buy a sports car when the family’s finances are limited and they cannot afford one. On the other hand, a wife may spend a major portion of the household income on shopping sprees, leaving very little for managing the household expenses. This behaviour can cause a lot of distress to your spouse.

ng Disrespectful Towards your Spouse

The very foundation of a successful marriage is trust, commitment, love, and respect. One can almost call it the recipe for a successful marriage. If any of these ingredients is missing from the recipe, marriage can lose its taste.

We tend to be so polite and respectful of strangers and yet speak so harshly or condescendingly with our loved one. Disrespectful behaviour in a marriage can have disastrous consequences. There are times when some people pass disrespectful judgements and remarks on every action of their partner, no matter how harmless or inconsequential the action. This can make the other partner feel very humiliated.

Some victims also tend to lose self-worth because of being continuously subjected to demeaning behaviour. Displaying sarcastic behaviour is the first step to breaking down the channels of your communication. Sarcastic behaviour not only hurts and distances your partner from you, but it also gives rise to unnecessary bitterness in the relationship.

ry Outbursts Accompanied with Shouts and Caustic Criticism

Losing your temper and shouting at your partner can cause irreparable hurt to your partner and damage to your relationship. When people are very angry and start shouting, chances are their temper is at a peak level. At such times people tend to say some very harsh and criticising things that they may not mean. However, these harsh words and caustic criticism is bound to create long-term scars on your spouse’s heart.

Your partner is bound to fear these temper outbursts and may hesitate to bring up any issue that might upset you, even if the issue is extremely important. This fearful behaviour will cause a rift as well as distance in your marriage.

to Avoid these Behavioural Patterns

Every marriage is different and so is each individual. Therefore, a blanket solution will not work for any marriage. However, in most cases, it is observed that such behaviours are a result of some deep-rooted emotional problem. In such cases, the partner displaying such negative behaviours or both the partners can opt for counselling.

Counselling can help to address the psychological problems associated with these behaviours. Effectively communicating with your partner and telling him or her how this selfish attitude is affecting you and others in the family can resolve selfish attitude in a marriage.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk