Divorce Minus the Custody Battle

How to Settle Custody Out of Court

For many parents undergoing divorce, settling custody outside of the court may seem impossible. But the court does not have to be the only way you can settle a custody battle. More and more parents are looking towards mediation in order to settle their custody battles. Mediation may just be the answer to your child custody disputes without getting the court involved.

Instead of hiring a legal professional to show the court just how great a parent you are and how much better you can take care of your kids than the other parent, you may both put your trust in one mediator minus the court. Both of you must first scout around for the appropriate mediator for your context. You should make sure that he/she is not only receptive but a good listener to both sides. Don’t rush around and grab the first mediator you may come upon. It pays to take the time to interview possible choices in order to find the mediator that can help you both the most.

The importance of commitment

Seeking the help of a mediator will require one major concept from both you and the other parent—commitment. If you are serious about trying to settle custody issues outside of court, both of you must be dedicated to a serious commitment to mutual agreement.

You may also opt to seek the help of regular family counseling in order to reach an arrangement wherein all members of the family will be happy. In these regular sessions of family counseling, both parents and children may go through possible living arrangements and assess which ones may be possible or not, and why.

The counseling process

The family counselor may start by meeting with the kids first. He/she may then speak with the parents, and later on with the family as a whole in order to approach their specific needs and wants. Later on, the whole family may decide upon the first arrangement to try out.

This first arrangement and its effect is regularly evaluated through further counseling sessions in order to achieve an arrangement that will meet each individual’s needs while not overlooking the family as a whole. The feedback from each of the family members coupled with the counselor’s skills is a vital source of attaining the most appropriate arrangement for all.

Motivation is vital!

These methods of mediation have proven to have a high success rate in those families with motivation.

Hope Ocampo is a staff writer for Divorce Guide, a one-stop information resource for news, articles and advice about divorce.