Recovering from a Partner’s Infidelity

Everyone longs to have that one partner in their lives who may be trusted with even the most innermost secrets of their heart. The longing is for that one person, who will not be judgemental and instead, will accept them for who they are, as they are without being unnecessarily demanding.

One can be a member of a large family and thus have a very large number of relatives on account of that. One may have a very large social circle of friends and acquaintances and still the person may not be satisfied in the heart.

This emotional and spiritual vacuum, this never ending longing is for the one partner who is ones very own and on whom none other can lay a claim to as great a degree as ones own self. This individual comes in the lives of most of us in the form of a spouse, through the way of marriage.

No wonder that marriage is the strongest social bond between any two given individuals. In such a scenario the weakening of this bond is also not an easy or simple possibility. It will require either something very major or constant cutting of the roots of marriage, to weaken this bond.

There are few things which can place the love and regard, that are a part and parcel as well as the foundation stones of a happy marriage, to the back burner. Nevertheless these things have the capacity to completely, altogether, destroy a marriage if they proceed unchecked.

Some of these issues can be constant physical and emotional abuse of the partner. Another issue that can bring about the same is substance abuse, leading to neglect of the family and an overall negative impact on the same.

Similarly unreasonable behaviour or a mountain of financial difficulties can also weaken the bonds of a happy marriage. One more, very common reason for a marriage falling apart is lack of communication amongst the two partners. Lack of communication can give rise to misgivings and differences that can be insurmountable until and unless the two partners restart their communications in an effective manner.

However the biggest cause for marriages reaching a breaking point across the world is undoubtedly infidelity on the part of either one or both the partners. Infidelity has enjoyed this ignominious position since time immemorial.

Infidelity can very easily break the back bone of the strongest of marriages. One must not forget that marriage is a relationship of love and trust and in this respect it precedes any and all other human relationships and associations.

Besides that marriage is also meant to be the one relation where an individual can always count upon his or her partner to be and to remain faithful to him or her in words and in deeds. Infidelity strikes a lightening blow on this very basic aspect of marriage by breaking the vows of faithfulness and of remaining true to the partner at the very heart of the institution of marriage.

Once faced with an unfaithful partner, it is well nigh impossible to restore love and trust to the same degree as was there before the episode of infidelity. There is an immensely strong feeling of hurt and dejection on the part of the other spouse.

He or she is left wondering as to what was his or her fault that such a betrayal was thrust upon him or her. There may be a total loss of words as one realises that all the vows of the wedding altar have come to a naught.

The unsuspecting partner is bound to be angry for having been subjected to the insult of the marital bed being violated. This is not a lie that can be easily forgiven by any one. It strikes at the roots of ones self respect and faith in ones own self as well as his or her partner.

Thus it is no wonder that infidelity is the reason cited in such a large number of cases of divorce. It is unfortunate that such incidents take place but as they say to err is human. Though only the sufferer knows the pain that he or she may undergo and perhaps none on the outside can give suitable advice, nevertheless one feels that even in such an eventuality one should try to forgive the straying partner and after seeking and receiving an appropriate assurance for the future, one should try to rebuild the destroyed nest.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com