Should Couples Stay In Unhappy Marriages For The Sake Of The Kids

Many couples hold onto the notion that a staying in a marriage, even a high-conflict one, is better for the children than a broken home. Even the commonly used term, "broken home," insinuates that there is something essentially wrong with divorce. It conveys the image that children whose parents have divorced have a disadvantage to those whose parents are still married.

Is it better for an unhappy couple to stay married for the sake of the children? The impact of arguments in the home can be detrimental to the child, whether these conflicts lead to divorce or not. It seems that the impact of the conflict itself is damaging. If divorce ends the confrontations between the parents, then the children are actually better off emotionally than those who continue to witness escalating arguments between their parents.

The emotional well-being of the parents also affects the emotional well-being of the children. If the parents are resolved to remain in a high-conflict marriage, the parents are suffering. As the parent suffers, so does the child, whether they witness the arguments or not. Mothers in unhappy marriages are likely to have depression and tension. Even if the marriage did not have a significant amount of conflict, but the spouses are unhappy, this unhappiness and resentment towards the spouse affect a parent's ability to nurture their children.

In many cases, divorced parents in separate domiciles can be healthier, happier parents. Relieved from a tumultuous marriage, divorced parents often become better parents. Parents who were in unhappy marriages often become more relaxed and even-tempered after the divorce. They often focus more time and energy on the children than they could during the marriage. This can be a huge benefit for the children. The children often become more relaxed themselves.

Divorced parents can become better role models for their children. During a high-conflict marriage, each spouse is expending a tremendous amount of energy being caught up in that turmoil. After a divorce, the parents may find that they are able to use that energy to further their own interests and reach goals that they would not have otherwise. Children pay attention to these things. They witness their parents, who were once consumed with tearing each other down, working to better their lives.

Friends, family, and those in the religious community may judge you based on your decision to divorce. If there is no hope for the marriage, it is not likely to benefit the children to stay in it. Two happy, divorced parents are usually better than two stressed unhappily-married parents.

Moses Wright is a webmaster of Divorce Papers. More information on A Divorce With Children and Divorce And Money Issues can be found on his website. You are welcome to reprint this article if you keep the Content and live link intact.