Step Forward into Marriage – Don’t Baulk From the Fear of Divorce

Fast pace of life and lowering of social standards and morals in the continued search for convenience have resulted in the trend of quick marriages and quicker divorce. In the eyes of the next generation, who are witness to this unpleasantness, prevention appears better than a cure. Trade in marriage for the live-in relationship.

The prospective male flees from the thought of marriage because:

• Women are overwhelmingly seen to be aggressive and demanding. Independent income and social upliftment of their standards have resulted in the man of the house, not being able to assert his dominance.



• Today, most divorces are being initiated by women.



• In a divorce proceeding, the mother is most likely to get custody of the children. The father is burdened with child support and alimony in return for brief visitation rights.



• More children are being exposed to the ugly nature of divorce. They just don’t want anything to do with marriage, after they grow up, because they have not seen a successful marriage.

The future bride baulks from marriage because:

• The concept of a manly, loving, dependable, gentleman-of-a-husband is very hard to come by. Fragile, business-like, overworked and effeminate men meet the eye.



• In childhood, the excruciating agony of witnessing a divorce usually hardens her mind against marriage.



• Increased financial independence and relaxing of social norms are far too precious to be enslaved in marriage.

We, the younger generation, prefer to test the waters before wading into marriage. Can marriage ever allow for an easy entry and exit out of a relationship, by mutual consent, without any of the attendant hassles? We also get to see the pluses and the minuses of our character, during the process, without any scars. Long live the live-in relationship!

Theoretically and practically, marriages or live-in relationships have their strengths and weaknesses, for the individuals concerned. Yet, it is very important to foresee the lasting imprint that either of them will leave on society, to safely conclude their viability as a solution to the ills that plague a human relationship.

Marriage is a binding force that has made possible the ideal conditions for human progress. Imagine the odds (physical and mental) that have to be overcome by children from displaced homes, in comparison to the ease with which children from happy homes chart their future progress. So, the natural corollary is: United parents engender confident children. Confident children fuel all-round progress of society.

A short-lived contract, intended as an experimental probe, can never explore or even (at times) offer a peek into the myriad experiences of the real McCoy. At the first sign of perceived trouble, either participant wants to pack up bags and head away from the relationship. No feelings of guilt or giving the relationship even the semblance of a working chance. That’s live-in relationship, put in a nutshell.

In marriage, there is always a promise of sunshine, even in the darkest of clouds. The feeling of ‘We have entwined our destinies, for our mutual good’ is the prevailing and foremost thought, in most marriages. Even after the chinks have made their appearance in the façade, there is some hope that the situation is not beyond repair and some efforts are made to salvage the situation.

Paeans have been sung about marriage. Shining examples of marriage personified, still abound. Joyous lively children, at peace with themselves and their surroundings, fill any onlooker’s heart with happiness and optimism about the continuity of mankind.

In business and in transactions involving money, we weigh the risks, ignore them or cover them and go ahead with the deal. One may or may not be rewarded, commensurate with the efforts. Do we give up easily? So, why aren’t we willing to venture into the less risky, less demanding world of marriage, where only emotional investment is required? Getting married and staying married is a rare currency worth striving for, since it is proven that the rewards are directly proportionate to the efforts expended on it.

Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of a swim, because the surface of the water appears to be cold or scalding. Put an effort to warm the water or cool it to your mutual liking. Laze in the pleasure of marriage and strengthen the hands of society.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk