Are you ready to visit your sweetheart?

This can be a stressful experience if you or your partner is not ready for

this step. I have seen too many men traveling overseas just so they can meet

someone and desperate to get on with a "married life", which brought them and

their partner much stress and disappointment. Both of you have to be ready

for such level of connection; below are a few things to consider before

jumping the plane.

How long do you know each other?

Of course, the thrill of meeting someone incredible may push you to plan

your meeting as soon as possible, but that is not always a good idea.

Initial buzz from communication can make everything look great, but it takes

time to establish real trust and connection to make your meeting meaningful.

It is individual for every couple, but on average this period is usually

counted in months, not weeks. A good idea is to communicate from three to

six months before meeting in person. This will give enough time for the

initial "pink cloud" of excitement to wear off, leave both of you with enough

time to get to know each other, be comfortable in your communication, as well

as decide how serious your intentions are.

How serious is your relationship?

Most people coming to dating sites are interested in finding a husband or

wife, so if you have considered your pen-pal as someone to share your life

with - you should definitely start planning your visit. When meeting in

person you will be able to form a different level of perception (not just

letters through translators and her voice, but her mannerisms, surroundings,

smell, etc) and it could be the final straw in deciding whether she is the

one. For your Russian bride such a

step will be a clear sign of you being serious in your intentions and

interested in long-term commitment. Most Russian women, as women everywhere,

prefer to see actions rather than just listen to men's promises; showing her

that you are willing to take a big step to pursue your relationship will give

her the additional confidence in your relationship and state your serious

intentions.

Have you discussed it?

Paying attention to the dynamics of your communication with your Russian

lady can be a big help in making the final decision to come and visit her.

This can be done by simply noticing how your conversations touch on this

subject: do both of you speak of meeting? Is only one person showing

interest? Answering "yes" to the first question obviously is a clear sign

that both of you are anticipating and ready for meeting in person. However,

if you are the only one bringing up this subject, it is best to give your

sweetheart time in order for her to be the one who mentions your meeting - to

be certain that she is ready emotionally and that your decision is mutual.

Even if you are confident that your sweetheart is ready to see you, it is

best to discuss your travel plans with her in advance. When you come to

visit her, you will want to be able to spend as much time with her as

possible; if you come unexpectedly, she might have some prior commitments, or

be unable to take time off work. Being great hostesses and a hospitable

nation, your Russian sweetheart will also want to be prepared for receiving

such a special guest at her house - in woman's terms this means having a

house cleaned, planning a good menu for the time she has you at her home,

scheduling fun time, etc; if you plan to meet her relatives, notifying your

Russian lady of your travel in advance is a good thing to make sure they are

available and also prepared to welcome you in their house, etc.

Where should we meet?

It is extremely difficult for Russian

women to travel to US or Europe, so there are only two other options for

you to meet - at her home country, or on the neutral territory. Both options

have many advantages, and it really is up to you as a couple to decide which

you would prefer. Meeting at her home country is the best alternative if you

know for certain that the lady you plan to meet is your future partner. If

you are having any doubts about the future of your relationship, you might

consider meeting on a neutral territory for the first time - to get to know

each other better in a more informal setting. Meeting on a neutral territory

can also be a great idea for a second or third meeting - once you have

determined that both of you are committed to a relationship, once you have

had the chance to see what your sweetheart is like at home, etc.

What else?

One other thing to consider is also having enough finances for the trip.

While living in Russia might not be as expensive as in the US or Europe, you

should consider carefully your travel expenses (ticket, renting a place to

stay, etc), as well as having enough resources while you are with your

sweetheart. Being on a new territory you will most likely be visiting some

tourist attractions, engaging in entertainment activities, eating out, etc. -

so you need to make sure you have enough cash (or access to money) to avoid

being stuck in an awkward situation.

Dating someone who lives half-way across the world is a challenge, and

planning your first visit is extremely important as it can make or break your

relationship.

Oksana Boichenko

OksanaLove, Inc.

http://www.oksanalove.com

The matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. You can find your second half - just visit our dating site and meet your Russian bride among the thousands of beautiful Russian women.