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Calling it Quits?

Submitted by Coachgirl
Wed, 12 Nov 2008

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Are you ready to call it quits? If you and your spouse have decided to end your relationship but you are still constantly fighting and hurting one another, it is essential to learn how to part with grace and dignity.
1. Maybe you both just did the best that you could. Stop blaming now.

The same way people are at one time meant to be together is the same way they are, at another time, not meant to be together.
Sometimes people just grow apart; they go in different directions.
We often feel we have to make the other person wrong in order to leave - we do not.

2. Remember you've loved and been intimate with this person.

There is nothing sadder than trashing something that at one time was sacred.
Just because you do not have a future together does not mean that you cannot have kind and loving feelings for that person.
Remember, when you diminish and destroy the person you have shared a life with, you diminish and destroy yourself as well.

3. Give him the couch; you'll get a life.

A dining room set is not the same as a life. No matter how many things you get, they will never take away the sadness of a failed relationship.
In the process of separating, if you feel you've won, your happiness will most likely be short-lived.
This is not about winning or being right, but about feeling right about your Self.

4. Words have the power to wound. Choose them carefully.

You always have the choice as to what you want to come out of your mouth. Remember, your words define you, regardless of what you say about anyone else.
If what comes out of your mouth is ugly, you will be seen as ugly as well.
Knowing another person is an honor and has sacredness attached to it. When you betray someone's vulnerabilities, because you are hurt, that is the ultimate betrayal.

5. Regardless of the circumstances, you will feel like you have failed - this is natural.

Ending a relationship is usually accompanied by a certain amount of sadness. We enter relationships, never with the thought that they will end, but always with the hope that will last forever.
When you end a relationship there is a closing of one door. Even if you go from one relationship to another (not recommended), there is always a let-down, a realization that something has ended.
Unless you are willing to mourn the end of a relationship in a healthy way, you will carry all the "nonsense" with you to the next one.

If you like what you’ve read, sign up for Chandra's FREE daily email “Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH”: http://www.coachgirl.com/coachgirl/daily.html

And for Relationship Advice, visit Chandra’s blog, “Chandra UnPlugged – No nonsense, Straight-Up Blogging from a Life Coach” for a quick, professional response: http://www.chandraunplugged.com/

© Copyright - Chandra Alexander, MSW. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

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