How to Improve Communication in Marriage - Save your Relationship!

If you're like most in the midst of a relationship crisis, you probably awoke one day to find your relationship shattered. Even though it feels like you've been suddenly blindsided by a staggering uppercut to the gut, the crisis usually builds slowly over a period of time with one partner caught completely off guard and the other professing their unhappiness. When faced with this painful and precarious situation, most folks are completely taken aback, wondering what went wrong and how they can save their relationship.

Without many viable options, they turn to the most common mainstream solution, which is improving communication and problem solving skills. This approach is, by far, the most popular theory endorsed by the relationship experts. It's also the number one principle employed in over 90% of the relationship books available today! Having said that, let me ask you a question; when you and your partner first met, did you have any trouble communicating or solving problems? Of course you didn't! So, why would you presume that you need to enhance your communication skills or, moreover, that it's the cause of your failing relationship? I'm not going to tell you that the cause of your relationship crisis is a lack of communication because it isn't. In simple terms, you don't need to learn how to communicate; you need to fix the underlying issues that caused the lack of communication!

Whether you're in a marriage or a long-term relationship, every relationship crisis begins with a direct fundamental cause. Although, when confronted with a crisis, most people tend to focus on superficial issues such as communication and problem solving rather that the primary cause. However, a lack of communication is merely a result of the frustration caused by underlying issues. Coaching has taught me that there are always underlying issues that sabotage a relationship! These underlying issues are called negative self-limiting beliefs; fears and insecurities that are caused by family dysfunction. Various patterns of abuse, control, abandonment, part-time parenting and alcoholism create emotional trauma, which ultimately undermines self-esteem and perpetuates insecurity and fear. Not only do these negative patterns prevent most women from being their true authentic selves, but they also drive inadvertent behavior that usually pushes a partner away or completely out the door! So, in order to transform your relationship you'll need to uncover the self-limiting beliefs that are sabotaging it. Managing communication and problems on the surface is an arduous task that always fails because the changes are inauthentic. If you want to save your relationship and transform into something magical, you must correct the underlying issues that caused the crisis in the first place. Truthfully, no one wants to communicate with a partner when they've lost the emotional connection, and nor do they want to communicate with someone that is critical, needy, argumentative, jealous, angry or insecure!

You see, relationship transformation must be accomplished by attraction. It is pointless to try and force or manipulate your partner to change. This approach never works! Bottom line, take responsibility for your negative contributions to the relationship by relinquishing your fears and insecurities and he'll communicate with you 24/7!

Good luck and great love,

David Roppo
The Relationship Rehab Coach