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Home » Society » Marriage » Marriage Counseling Will Be a Waste of Your Time If He Is Cheating With Your Best Friend!

pfriedman
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Marriage Counseling Will Be a Waste of Your Time If He Is Cheating With Your Best Friend!

Submitted by pfriedman
Tue, 3 Feb 2009

According to Hollywood and TV presentations young men begin their sexual lives pretty early and have an absolute ball (from the guys' point of view) until they finally find the girl of their dreams and get married. But for most people that is a fantasy. Young men are shy for the most part and if they had good moms they are very reluctant to take advantage of a young lady. Of course they are interested in sex, and are constantly bombarded by their biological drives, but they will rarely have the opportunity until they are with the girl they eventually marry.
Even those men who have had more than a couple of intimate partners rarely have experienced intimacy with their sexuality. Education in the area of intimacy is almost nonexistent. Now sexuality is another matter altogether, as there is an overabundance of prurient information available almost everywhere. Our society is evidently fixated on those things that promise pleasure and deliver pain. Furthermore, most men are not natural Casanovas. Introducing themselves to a woman is very painful and scary for most men. So when they have close relationships with other attractive women who are either single or married, the temptation to venture is tremendous. On the other side of the coin wives are sometimes quick to share intimate details about their husbands with their best friends. For the person who's hearing all of these details it is very tantalizing... Does all of this seem very shallow to you? It is shallow and it defines the lack of depth of the affected marriage.

Can Marriage Counseling Help?
Marriage counselors don't exactly have a stellar track record in the area of saving marriages. It has become common knowledge that the save rate of marriage counselors is somewhere between 2 and 30%. The reason for this extremely low success rate makes total sense; western psychology does not believe in a spiritual component in man. Marriage is a spiritual institution designed to satisfy the physical, psychological and spiritual needs of men and women. When western psychologists recklessly call God an abstract thought they essentially eliminate any hope of helping people with their difficulties.

What Will Work
Over and over again people came to see me who had already unsuccessfully tried working through their marital issues with a marriage counselor. Those were the fortunate ones because the process I shared, gives people a new start without condemning them for past errors. When people read my Lessons For A Happy Marriage, which is the complete manual for a marriage, they are able to see all of the things they have done wrong, (I'm not talking about sins here) and start completely fresh with the right tools for success.

The Principles and Tools of Marriage
Once an individual understands gender differences, communication, and other essential principles of marriage, they are empowered with all they will ever need to create a harmonious and loving marriage. By learning what the principles are through illustration and example anyone can be successful in their marriage. God didn't make marriage to be complex. He made it to be a safe haven from the challenges of the world. If you suspect your husband of cheating on you don't call him on it. Instead put your energy into learning how to become the best wife who's ever lived. As for your best friend, I think by now you realize she really wasn't.
Don't give up, and don't panic. The effort it requires to have an amazingly good marriage is much less than the pain and suffering that comes from not making the effort.

 

Paul Friedman, author of Lessons For A Happy Marriage, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on the Relationship Advice Blog.


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