Relationship Problems - He Loves you, he Loves you not!

He loves me, he loves me not is a game of French origin, in which one person seeks to determine whether they are the object of another's affection by plucking the petals from a daisy. Ironically, it's not uncommon for women in relationship crises to feel as if they are deeply entrenched in this game of confusion and uncertainty! This is especially true in relationships that are plagued by emotional and/or physical infidelity. When a partner strays from a relationship, one might assume that they no longer love their current partner; however, this is rarely the case. Essentially, partners stray from a relationship because the emotional bond or connection has diminished. Therefore, they seek to find that connection with another. But, they rarely succeed because patterns that are engrained subconsciously cause them to attract someone who fills the void that is present in their current relationship. In essence, they fail to attract the complete package. Subsequently, their paramour fills a percentage of the emotional needs and their partner fills the remainder. This paralyzes the existing relationship and thrusts the receiving partner on a roller coaster of confusion and uncertainty. Literally, it can be compared to plucking daisy petals while asking; does he love me, does he not!

Well, that's the dynamic of "He Loves me, he Loves me not!" Now, let's talk about how to end this perpetual daisy, petal plucking game? As I previously mentioned, partners stray from relationships because their emotional needs are not being met. The basis for that is usually a low self-esteem which is caused by fears and insecurities. These insecurities tend to drive emotions that often translate into needy, smothering, clingy and mistrusting behavior. Ultimately, they drive a partner away and into someone else's arms. Is infidelity wrong? Yes, of course it is! Nonetheless, it still occurs. And, if you want to solve the problem, you've got to correct it at the root. If you don't, what will be different in your next relationship? In all likelihood, nothing since you'll attract another unfaithful partner. Consequently, the power to get out of the daisy, petal plucking game and on with your life and into a great relationship lies in your own personal growth. There really isn't another way to discover whether your partner loves you or if he's willing to change and discontinue his infidelity. Sure, you can try and push him for answers! You can play Dick Tracy by policing his phone and email. Although, neither option will provide any tangible answers, however, they will harm your relationship and make you absolutely crazy in the process! Love is giving. And, you can't force someone to give it to you! But, you can attract them too! Think of love as being a magnet. The more you try and push with the wrong energy, it eludes you. If you become love, though, it will follow or be drawn to you!
Good luck and great love,
David Roppo
The Relationship Rehab Coach