Unreasonable Expectations

According to statistics, 50% of divorces take place in the first seven years of marriage. How can two people who proclaimed their love for each other at the altar, in front of so many witnesses, sometimes with teary eyes, fall out of love with in 7 years?

One of the major reasons for such high divorce rates is the unreasonable expectations of marriage; which leads to disappointments. When disappointment sets in, we believed that we have a flawed marriage, or have married the wrong person. With such belief, divorce is most likely imminent.

If you begin your marriage with false expectations of what it takes to make it work, no matter how long you stay together, you will have major challenges. And if you cement those ideas by saying to yourself ‘I am right and my spouse if wrong’ it only makes matters worst.

While none of us were born with a manual, much of our introduction to marriage comes from either our parents, family members or friends. No matter whose marriage you were exposed to, remember that yours is different because there are two completely different individuals involved in your marriage.

So here are two ideas to ponder:

1) Reduce or eliminate expectations for your marriage. Live today, enjoy today and work toward a better and brighter tomorrow as you grow together in your relationship. In other words, set goals and work toward them as your create the marriage you want.
2) Realize that marriages go through different phases. Just like the weather; some days its sunny, some days it cold, others overcast and rainy, while others are stormy. All marriages are confronted with changes. But when stormy days arrive, the true test of your union will be ‘how did we weather the storm.’ Those who usually stand firm during times of storms, come out at the other end with a stronger and renewed love for each other.