What Can "I" Do For You?

So, what is the easiest way to bring yourself closer to those around you?

A way that makes the other person want to do more for you on an ongoing basis?

When you read this, you are going to fall off your chair.

All you need to do is one thing, and that is...
You need to ask them...

"What can I do for you?" or "Is there anything I can do for you?" or "Can I help you?"

Now I know that this sounds so 3rd grade, but lets take an example situation for a minute.

A husband and wife have been married for 12 years. The fire has died down in their relationship somewhat. They love each other, but find it rare that they feel in-love.

They are going through their lives slowly growing apart. It's not a good situation for either of them.

So one day the husband decides that he needs to make a change. He is not enjoying the day to day life that he is living, and has a "lightbulb moment". He sees the light.

He is talking to his wife, and says totally out of the blue, "Is there anything I can do for you?". Now even though this guy is a nice guy, a good father and definitely not a bad husband, the wife is almost taken aback. He has asked this question from a selfless place, without any motive or desire to get anything in return. Only to make his wife feel good and improve her day.

His wife gets a little smile on her face, (she was really not expecting that) and says to her husband, "You could organize Johnny's school bag for me and get him dressed for school".

Three very powerful things have occurred here. The husband has just helped out the wife, reducing her workload in the very busy hours before school. The husband has been able to spend a little more time with his son (which is often very limited for many dads these days), but most importantly, the husband has done something that the wife was not expecting and has given his wife a great reason to feel more of the love that first brought them together in the first place.

For when they first met, the husband would often go out of his way to do things for this wife-to-be. There might be flowers occasionally, or little notes, or just a knowing glance, or a few well thought out words. All, to tell his love how he felt about her.

By asking "Is there anything I can do for you", he as replanted those feelings.

How did he feel when he asked the question?

He felt great. He felt great because he felt the reaction from his wife. He felt great because he was contributing to make her life better right now. Not, on the weekend, or next week, or maybe tomorrow, but right now - when it counts.

And these feelings he had just reinforce to him, that he wanted to do this each day. Each day he wanted to help his wife with some part of her life. So she would have these same feelings, and he would feel the reflection of those feelings from her, back to him.

And how do you think that changed their relationship?

How do you think that could change your relationship?

If you'd like more tools to use to make your relationships and other areas of your life more successful, you can visit www.nlpyourwaytosuccess.com

Grant Stevens uses success techniques in both his personal life and his business. Find more tools at http://www.nlpyourwaytosuccss.com