Sexual Compatibility

The majority of marriages and relationships that fail, do so as a result of sexual incompatibility. When dating, we tend to make a list of all the things we want in our partners, e.g.,:

• They must be nice
• They must love dogs
• They must love to travel
• They must be a giving person
• They must be educated

What so many of us fail to write down, however, is the most important thing: the way we want our partner to be sexually.

Some of us are sexually wild. Some of us are deeply erotic. Some of us are into S&M. Some of us like to get spanked. Some of us like to dress up in furry animal costumes and be called plushies like on a recent episode of “Entourage.” Some of us are very emotional and always want to make love, while others just want to f&*# the shit out of each other. Some of us are into mutual masturbation, while others are repulsed by the idea of touching themselves. Some people like to kiss during sex, while others like to bury their head in the pillow. Some of us are dirty talkers, while others spend time shushing our partners. Some of us are multi-orgasmic, while others think that orgasms are a rumor. Some men can go for hours, while others ejaculate whenever they even go near a vagina. Some of us are inexperienced, but are open to new things. I think you know where I'm going with this . . .

You need to figure out sexually what turns you on, because you can't make somebody the sexual being you desire if that's not who they are. So many guys and women think they can train their partners to be the sexual being they want.

The bottom line is that during the dating process, we tend to forget about our sexual compatibility. It's like we don't talk about it. Most of us talk about everything else on a date. Despite the fact that all of us are sexual creatures and would love to have the sexual talk with a prospective partner, we almost always don't. Can you imagine the next time you go out on a second date having this conversation:

Man: “So tell me a little bit about what you like sexually.”
Woman: “Well, oral sex is one of my favorites. I like to give
and receive. But, I only like to have sex twice a week.”
Man: “Well, I really don't like to give oral sex. I like to get it
though. And I like to have sex at least six times per week.”
Woman: “Check please . . . “

Now I know we can't be this crude. The bottom line is, though, that when you first start dating someone and start sleeping with them, you need to express to the other person what your desires are sexually.

You need to open up this conversation, and you need to tell your partner what you like. Otherwise you're just going to be one of the majority of people in this world who are sexually frustrated and need to go elsewhere to get satisfaction . . . whether that's a vibrator for women, a rub 'n tug parlor for men, or cheating on your significant other.

In order to know if you're sexually compatible with someone, you need to be open to having this conversation about sex and you need to be okay with saying how you feel. Do you desire a real relationship based upon trust and total intimacy, or do you want to have a secret side of your life that your partner knows nothing about?

I go over sexual intimacy and how to create amazing sex with your partner in Part VII of my Men's Audio Mastery Series and in Part VII of my Women's Audio Mastery Series. If you desire to know more about creating deep intimacy with every person with whom you're involved, then I suggest you look at my Mastery Series in my products section on this site.

Relationships are tough. Don't make them any tougher by hiding your true sexual nature. So the next time you're on a date and a woman asks you what you like to do on a Friday night, tell her! You may be surprised what her answer is . . .

I'm not saying that first date conversation should be about how you like to have sex. But once you start to sleep together, you really need to find out if you're sexually compatible or not. It sounds easy and simple, but it seems like we keep getting it wrong in relationships.