Changing trends in Bengali Matrimony

Bengali people are considered emotional and very deeply rooted n their culture. The same reflects in their matrimonial system too. A Bengali wedding is a ritual-rich and warm affair where one will find the right mix of festivities and dignity. However, with the changing times, and growing global presence of Bengalis, their customs have also evolved to keep pace with the changing times.

Bengali matrimonial can be easily found in newspapers or marriage websites. With the growing cosmopolitan outlook, Bengali youth are now open to marrying in non-Bengali castes too. Since they are generally very intellectually inclined and have taste for art and music, a person with similar taste makes a good match matrimonial match irrespective of his/her caste or creed. An interesting trend is that in Kolkata, owing to high Marwari presence, marriages are being arranged within the two communities. Marwaris who have been living in Kolkata for long have imbibed the Bengali culture and way of living. Thus, they are open to marrying their daughters or sons in the Bengali community and vice-versa.

Also, with increasing Bengali presence outside West Bengal, a few small customs are fading away from the wedding ceremonies. Otherwise, a traditional Bengali wedding is a grand affair and customs and rituals begin well before the actual day of wedding. The pre-wedding ceremonies begin with ‘Aashirwaad’ which officially announces the start of the festivities. During the Aashirwaad (English meaning: Blessing) ceremony, would-be groom and his family go to the bride’s place, where the bride-to-be is blessed by the boy’s family. The groom is offered gifts by the girl’s family after being anointed with a sandalwood tilak. He is also offered rice husk and darba grass. And of course, no Indian ceremony is complete without sweets and the same holds true here. Sweets, called mishti in Bengali, are offered to mark the sweetness of the occasion.

The next formal Bengali matrimonial ceremony for the girl’s side is Ai Buddo Bhaat, which is a grand feast at her place the night before the wedding day. On the wedding day, customs begin early with the bride taking bath in Brahma Muhurat ie 4.00 am and dressing up in a white sari with a red border. The white colour symbolizes purity and chastity whereas the red colour stands for fertility. The girl wears all her jewellery and eats a mixture of puffed rice, curd and sweets before day break. After the day break, a formal fasting begins for the girl where she is not supposed to partake any cereal.

After this, the male members of the girl’s family perform a vridhi ceremony to invoke blessings of the ancestors. This is followed by the Haldi Uptan ceremony in which a paste of turmeric and mustard oil is anointed on the girl while she sits in the midst of four plantain trees kept at four corners of the room. After this, the next Bengali matrimony custom is the Totto ceremony, during which gifts are offered to the bride. These ceremonies are followed by the Shakha Paula ceremony, where seven married women adorn the bride's hands with the traditional bangles made of shankha (shell) and paula (coral) amidst the Vedic chants by a priest.

A traditional Bengali bride is dressed up in a red Benarasi saree and a red veil. She wears a mukut gaach kouto and a silver kaajal lata. The groom is dressed in kurta and dhoti when he comes to the bride’s house where he is given another set of clothes to change into.

The actual Bengali wedding ceremony begins with the exchange of garlands among the bride and the groom. Then, a sacred thread is used to join their threads together and the couple is blessed in the Sampradan ceremony. In a sweet custom that follows, the couple is allowed to sneak a peak at each other, from under a sheet in the Shubhodrishti ceremony.

A distinctive feature of a Bengali wedding is the blowing of the conch and the Ooli. The women produce a sound with their tongues and by beating the palms on the mouth throughout the ceremonies. This is to make sure that everybody's attention is drawn to the main ceremony.

Before he saat pheras, the couple sits on special piris (stools) in front of the Agni(sacred fire).The saat pheras signify the sanctity and solemnity of marriage. In the Anjali ceremony, the groom holds the bride's palms and the girl's brother fills them with Khoi (popped rice) that is offered to the fire here. The last ceremony is that of the Sindoor Daan, where the boy traces a vermilion line between the girl's eyebrows through the parting in her hair. With this, the couple is considered officially married. Of course, a lavish wedding feast follows all the ceremonies of Bengali matrimony.

This accounts for a traditional Bengali wedding but as mentioned earlier, a lot of the small customs are missed by young couples these days. still, Bengali matrimony holds a lot of charm and is a grand affair like any other Indian wedding.

Geetika jain writes on behalf of Jeevansathi.com, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online Indian matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create a Bengali matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other. Users can search for profiles through advanced search options on the website. Users can avail free registration and make initial contact with each other through services available on Jeevansathi.com via Chat, SMS, and e-mail.